Child Custody

[Dalliance]

Hello everyone,
             I am new to this site and am looking for some sort of guidance as I seem to find myself in quite the pickle.  I had a short term relationship with a woman not too long ago.  At first things were ok, then I found out what she was hiding from me.  She didn't tell me about being married until after we had a few sexual encounters.  She also told me that she was sterile.  Well, as you can guess, she is now pregnant and swears up and down that it is mine.  The interesting part is that she was having sex with 2 other partners at the time.  Her husband, and another man.  She has told me that she knows it is not her husbands child because she made him wear condoms when they had sex around the time of conception.  She also says that she did not have sex with the 3rd man anywhere near the time of conception.  She originally said she didn't want anything from me.  Now she has talked to a lawyer and I am assuming is planning legal action against me.  The child is due in June.  I am single, 28, and have no children.  I also have a federal job and live in California.  I am scared to death and have no clue as to what to do.  I feel like I have been lied to and trapped.  Do I have any rights at all?  Is there anything I can do now to protect myself.  This woman wants to have the child and move 6 hours away to live with her mother and quit her job.  I feel like she set all of this up so she could get some sucker to pay her way after she gets divorced.  She is still married and to the best of my knowledge has not yet filed anything.  Abortion and adoption are pretty much out of the question.  What can I do?
     Thanks for any information you can give me,
                                                               Terry

[MKx2]

First of all ... read, this, memorize it and never ever forget it:

[em]Trust NO woman with regard to birth control. Period.  End of story.  No and's if's or but's.  If YOU're not prepared to use a condom and/or to be told you're going to be a Daddy, keep your zipper UP![/em]

This is the same advice I have given my own son (24) since he was a teen.

Now, obviously it's a bit late for that.  What a lousy situation for you!  But you need to understand something -- a child born within the confines of the marriage is considered the legal child of the husband and wife, unless proven otherwise by a DNA test.  I'm not sure what the laws are concerning "conception" during a marriage and separation/divorce during pregnancy and prior to birth.

If she claims you are the father when the child is born you MUST request a DNA test at birth to establish this fact.

Stupid woman!  I can't tell you how much I absolutely LOATHE this type and what they represent.

You would do well to post this question to the Dear Socrateaser Board.  He is our resident legal guru (I believe he is in California), and would be able to tell you what your legal options are at this point.  PLEASE read the Mandatory Guidelines for posting and follow them exactly when you post.

I am so very sorry this woman has done this to you.  With any luck at all you'll find that the child is NOT yours - otherwise be prepared for 18+ years of child support and an uphill battle for visitation of your child.

Good luck and please continue to come to these boards and let us know what's going on.