HELLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!

[mom4good]

My sd of 7 years lives w/ her father and I. I've explained the situation in detail on previous posts, but a small reminder: SD is almost 13; visited BM in summer: sd only sees Bm about 3 weeks eah year; we live 6 1/2 hrs from each other; Sd doesn't visit more b/c Bm seldom calls and doesn't ask for visitation and when offered more declines saying no time; This has been the case for years so Sd is used to not seeing her much and therefore now doesn't even want to go for a full week at a time which is the length of each visit;Sd didn't want to go but for 3 days this summer but we told her that was silly and she needed to visit her mom for the week. She said that she feared not being rt b/c Bm was acting strangely and saying "why don't you just come here and stay". We told Sd that Bm wouldn't do that and sent her.


Well, Bm didn't rt her and put her through mental hell. Sd then became fearful of BM b/c of her crazy behavior: told hee Bfather tried to kill her and that we refused to come and get her while she told us F$^& you she's here and I'm in control. We drove to get her. Bm didn't call for months and then when she spoke with Sd told her that she called all the time and we wouldn't let her talk to her. Can we get incoming phone records? SHe is playing with her head b/c she absolutely didn't call her. Sd believes that her Bm has lost her mind, but it still isn't fair to leave Sd always questioning who is telling the truth.

Sd emailed Bm twivce that she did not want to come for visit week after Christmas but BM ignored and so we both talked with Bm on phone. BM is irrational and says crazy things like " thyis is only b/c Smom thinks I'm prettier than her, she's jealous". My husband kept responding with, this is about our daughter, not my wife. She would say,"no it's not it's about your jealous wife, I'm prettier and smarter." She wouldn't even talk about her daughter, just me. She called a few days later and actually told me that she is prttier than me. Weird.

Sd called Bm 3 days before Christmas b/c Bm said she was bringing the police to our house to p/u sd even if she was screaming and crying. Sd told Bm that she was scared of her b/c of what she did last time and that she didn't want to come.  Bm was very unsympathetic on phone and laughed at her about "being scared". Sd told Bm at the end of call " I love you" bm responded with "well, that is very confusing statement, goodbye." that is the last that they have spoken.

We visited an atty 3 days before christmas to try to prevent her from taking sd against her will. We filed a motion for modification pro se at the urging of the atty. We will fully retain an atty at the end of Jan. to file a better motion ( not written by us). I left out all the years that Bm acted stupid or called us w/ crazy crap or the rest of what she told sd while she visited this summer. Sd is in therapy and very adimant that she only wants Bm to visit here b/c she does not feel safe with her.

We have never let sd make these decisions and I feel that Bm has only done this to herself. We refuse to force sd to visit away from home b/c she is scared. She feared last time and we did force her to go. We live in Ga. Does anyone know how the court may handle this. I really think that she needs a psych evaluation. I've spoken to some people that know her in her home town and she has created a past for herself that doesn't exist. It is as though she really believes the things that she says. She laft my DH for her boss, who later divorced her. Yet, she told everyone that Dh ran off with another woman and abused her and was a high powered therapist that had family with a lot of money. None of that is true. Her other child had rotten fromt teeth at 4 years old and had them pulled. She told us that the child lost them early, her mom that her child fell, and on court record in a seperate case that her child was premie and the never developed correctly. I took sd to see  her at the hospital when the child was born. the dr induced labor b/c she was overdue. They let her go a bit over b/ co f her eating disorder that only netted her 12 pounds of baby weight and a 4 pound baby.

Will the  court laugh at us or will they take thyis seriously? We want Sd to have a relationship w/ Bm, but for it to be safe and healthy. We want DH to have full, instead of joint custody. The joint really doesn't mean much b/c she has never taken part in anything. But we don't want her to have the power to bring police and force Sd to do anything. We want visitaion to be based on Sd being comfortable and us to feel it is safe. We also want BM to have the psych eval. b/c she is not much in touch with reality any longer. She owes us now $9,000. in arrears, yet tells us that she paid it all and that we are lying. She pays tye court, not us and they set the arrears. I really think that she believes herself.


What do we do?