BIG PROBLEMS

[sweetnsad]

I am going to give my opinion....I'm only 29, but I'm old enough to know that parents should always do what's best for their children...so, saying that, I have to agree with Peanutsdad on this one...

How can ANY parent think that they are better than the other, when both are drug addicts or users?  And, how can anyone think that placing children with drug addict parents is a better idea than foster care???  It doesn't make any sense....if MY children were in that situation, I would want them to be with a family that could give them a sense of security and warmth, not constant fear of me or my husband because we couldn't keep our heads on straight...that's NO life for any child, I don't care how much the parents love them...if you love them enough, you will do what's right for them...

As for the attacks on PD's conduct at work and so forth, I don't think that was necessary...the man makes a living saving lives, not destroying them, so why would his views on this issue be any different than what he does everyday??  

EVERYONE is entitled to their honest opinions, no matter how much someone else might not like them...it's no reason to attack one's character.

[kiddosmom]

I have had experience caring for a "crack baby" and so has peanutsdad.
My sister is an extreme 'Hard core Drug Addict' that has not stopped her from bearing 3 children addicted to the drugs.
It has also not stopped her family from having to take care of those babies because she was to busy wanting the next needle. To this day most of our family will have nothing to do with her because SHE has alianated (sp?) all of us.

[Peanutsdad]

Sweetnsad,

Where John and I differ here is a common ground of dispute for liberals and conservatives. One believes all can be saved or turned around, the other knows they cant all be saved. Unfortunately, the liberals also want all of us to PAY for saving everyone.

You are right about one thing tho, in medicine we will sacrifice diseased or damaged tissue or limbs to save the healthy tissue. Its the same with these addicted parents and children.  Excise the diseased to save the healthy.

Besides, the implications of johns post would suggest I am guilty of criminal behavior in my work. Nothing could be further from the truth. Hence, I ignore it.

[sweetnsad]

I understand that PD...I really do..it just makes me mad to think that there are people out there that don't care enough about children to make decent choices concerning them.

[Davy]

More later..gotta run.  Tx foster care is exceptional because it is not government controlled/operated and they substantially evaluate perspective parents.  In the other states (IL and FL) the foster care is very much a government agency and a huge disaster for children even to the point that DCF will even use the foster care system as leverage against drug addicts (and the family) to place children where they desire (to make the most money).  It is really not all that complicated !

PD sees the results of government social programs that fail miserably (on purpose) otherwise I firmly believe John5739 is correct and have advised my own drug addicted daughter as such but she has been govermentized ...... and even if she wanted to follow she can't ...like I said ...more later ...gotta run.

[john5739]

You obviously did not fully read my original post, because I did not advocate giving children to drug addicted parents who are in the throws of using.  I merely said that if there is a choice between drug addiction and sexual abuse I would take drug addiction.  The sexual abuse is direct abuse of a child.

I apologized to Peanutsdad for the comment about his work on another post, but I should have done it here first.  As you can probably tell, I mistakenly thought he wrote something he did not.  My fault and my fault for wording my anger inappropriately.  I do not believe that he is guilty of criminal conduct.

I will say however, that I would not want to be cared for in an ER by someone who would judge me so harshly if I had a social problem and presented for care.  When you feel so passionately about a subject like this it is very difficult to separate your emotions from your work.  When someone walks into an ER first impressions can be very important and no one can ever know completely someone's circumstances.

By the way I'm not a liberal.

[john5739]

Aren't you personally attacking me now?  Is it fair for you to say that I don't care about children?  Two wrongs will never make a right.

[john5739]

I have a great deal of respect for what you've experienced and what you have witnessed in your job, but you are angry (righfully so) and that is clouding the issue. The subject is not whether or not parents who are addicted are good parents.  We agree that they need to be clean and sober to be good parents, the issue was in regard to sexual abuse vs drug abuse.  Sexually abused children are every bit as messed up as children born to drug addicts.

I don't think the original poster believed that at present she was the best option for the children and I don't think she was advocating that she be awarded full, unsupervised custody, she wanted to prevent her children from being sexually molested by a known sex offender.  I merely advocated for her to get help and most of all get the kids away from a child molester.

BTW(lol), I'm not a liberal.

[sweetnsad]

No, John, I'm not personally attacking you...and I'm sorry if it appeared I was...I was merely making a comment in general.

[Indigo Mom]

She said this...

-----His father is a convicted child molester and is
> registered with sex offenders. He was charged tried and convicted
> of count 1 Forcible Sex Abuse of Female minor and Count 1Attempted
> Forcible Sex Abuse of Female Minor. -----

So...we are assuming that this man has been charged and convicted with this...but do we "really" know if he was?  Just as the father in this situation...she claims he's a drug user as well.

All we "really" know is that she's a drug user with a pretty large criminal history, she admitted that.  What IF the father isn't using drugs, what IF the grandfather isn't a sex offender?  What IF the only "bad guy" in this whole situation is the mother?????

After all...people do and say whatever they think other people will buy into to further their own case.  Don't you find it "odd" that this convicted child molester was given a "clean bill of health" and is allowed around children?  Don't you find it "odd" that no one will help this woman?  Don't you find it "odd" that DCFS opened a child endangerment case against her...and only her?  Chances are, she's the only one putting her children at risk.

While I KNOW bad things happen to good people (and in this situation, I use the term "good" losely)...but come on!  No one is going after the father or grandfather...does that make ANY sense to you?  Could it be that the story we read isn't quite the "whole" story?  The original poster, who sounded so desperate for help hasn't even bothered coming back here.  That says alot....

What am I getting at?  You're going bonkers for this drug addict...all the while forgetting that there are 2 innocent children that "might" be in better hands for the time being.  Seems a whole bunch of accusations came flying out of her....yet no explanations have been offered for anything.  Putting "real" names into her post make it "seem" real...doesn't it?

And IF the grandfather is a child molester, and IF the father is a drug addict and alcoholic...wouldn't she be in a better position to fight them/protect her kids when she's clean as a whistle?