BIG PROBLEMS

[rini]

boy most times your posts are insiteful and on the money but in this case you are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy off.


You can recover from drug addiction and someday be a whole person.
you will always be an addict but God willing not a user.

now i must admit i have little to no knowledge of methamphetamine but the other i do have personal knowledge of.  i have read that the recovery time is much longer for this drug buttttttttttt  

the poster did say that she was sober for over 3 months and that is worth giving her some benefit of the doubt and possibly some encouragement for getting that far instead of the opposite.


comparing the disease of addiction to life with a child molester/pedofile that was found guilty a long time ago and for some strange reason the state does not consider a danger any more possibly because of the length of time (there is a statute of limitations on criminal prosecution of molestation)  If I had to hazzard a guess this could be a part of the story on the gf.

if those children are molested while in his care they will never fully recover as a victim myself i am well aware of the mark that type of abuse leaves.

there just is no room for comparisons here.  

you are correct in that the only option is placement for the children until one or both of the parents are clean and sober. for whatever time requirements for the drug of choice that gives them a good chance of sobriety...

I really think that some of the responses to this post were more than harsh actually one or two bordering absolutely offensive in my opinion..to someone that was actually trying to recover and asking for help

but i see more and more of that kind of thing that I used to only find on the other site that we both post on.  

None of us can know all the facts of any situation but all of us can attempt to be supportive and keep harsh comments to ourselves and i am not necessarily refering to (whomever the post i answered under belongs to Peanuts dad i think)    here hon i would have to go over all the posts and im not sure who wrote what but some of them would have been very upsetting to me had i been asking for help and gotten them for a response especialy when i had been doing my best to change and make myself into the mom that my kids deserve.

 Let you who has no faults cast the first stone!!!!!   or something like that.

I have just been seeing a whole lot of this on here lately and it really detracts from the site that i have been coming to for over 3 years.  
and what the purpose of this site actually is.


and to the poster if you actually come back and read any of this and make it this far  here is my email if you need some one to talk to
[email protected]


Ill be praying for you and your children.  Good luck with staying sober!

 rini

[Peanutsdad]

>boy most times your posts are insiteful and on the money but
>in this case you are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy off.

Be that as it may. I still stand by my affirmation that the kids in this story deserve to be protected from both parents and the grandparent.


>
>
>You can recover from drug addiction and someday be a whole
>person.
>you will always be an addict but God willing not a user.

That too is true rini, I never disputed this. The two parents in this post have been clean before, and gone back to using numerous times, with arrests for drugs or alcohol. I still feel neither is fit as a parent, and with that, I still stand by removing the children until such a time as one parent or the other can show thier act is cleaned up.


>
>now i must admit i have little to no knowledge of
>methamphetamine but the other i do have personal knowledge of.
> i have read that the recovery time is much longer for this
>drug buttttttttttt  
>
>the poster did say that she was sober for over 3 months and
>that is worth giving her some benefit of the doubt and
>possibly some encouragement for getting that far instead of
>the opposite.
>


I understand that entirely. I also do not sugarcoat. I'll tell you exactly what I think is best. She has already abused benefit of doubt by admitting to the on again and off again use of drugs.


>
>comparing the disease of addiction to life with a child
>molester/pedofile that was found guilty a long time ago and
>for some strange reason the state does not consider a danger
>any more possibly because of the length of time (there is a
>statute of limitations on criminal prosecution of molestation)
> If I had to hazzard a guess this could be a part of the story
>on the gf.
>
>if those children are molested while in his care they will
>never fully recover as a victim myself i am well aware of the
>mark that type of abuse leaves.
>
>there just is no room for comparisons here.  
>
>you are correct in that the only option is placement for the
>children until one or both of the parents are clean and sober.
>for whatever time requirements for the drug of choice that
>gives them a good chance of sobriety...


That is what I've been saying all along rini. Protect the children FIRST, then let the parents figure out how to get their heads out of their butts.


>



>I really think that some of the responses to this post were
>more than harsh actually one or two bordering absolutely
>offensive in my opinion..to someone that was actually trying
>to recover and asking for help
>
>but i see more and more of that kind of thing that I used to
>only find on the other site that we both post on.  
>
>None of us can know all the facts of any situation but all of
>us can attempt to be supportive and keep harsh comments to
>ourselves and i am not necessarily refering to (whomever the
>post i answered under belongs to Peanuts dad i think)    here
>hon i would have to go over all the posts and im not sure who
>wrote what but some of them would have been very upsetting to
>me had i been asking for help and gotten them for a response
>especialy when i had been doing my best to change and make
>myself into the mom that my kids deserve.


In a case like this, I could care less how the two parents feel. With two drug addicted parents, there can be no presumption of either being fit,, want respect from me for them,, they have to earn it.
I do see the costs to families and children by these kind of parents,, every day.  I also see what these kind of parents cost the rest of us. You will never ever see me be a proponent of a drug addict gaining custody of a child. Not unless that addict can prove they have been clean over a year, have turned their life around, no longer associate with drug dealers, nor users, have moved out of the environment and become a productive member of society.


>
> Let you who has no faults cast the first stone!!!!!   or
>something like that.

In that case, all of us should cease and desist posting immediately. the last perfect person,, got nailed to a cross for his trouble.


>
>I have just been seeing a whole lot of this on here lately and
>it really detracts from the site that i have been coming to
>for over 3 years.  
>and what the purpose of this site actually is.
>
>

From my understanding, this site exists to help provide resources for NCP's.  It promotes shared parenting with the presumption of both fit parents being equal in parenting.  Notice fit??  


>and to the poster if you actually come back and read any of
>this and make it this far  here is my email if you need some
>one to talk to
>[email protected]


Now rini, Im not flaming you, nor being anything but honest. I give advise to NCP's across all walks of life, I give advise to CP's from all walks of life. Any fit parent can pretty much ask me for anything.

But you let a child molester or a addict ask me for anything,, They'll not recieve a thing. While I might love to believe the best of all, reality imposes itself quite well.  I would hope the addict does read all this. In fact, I hope it makes her good and mad,, that would show me she hasnt completely lost her own self respect and has a better chance of getting clean.
>
>
>Ill be praying for you and your children.  Good luck with
>staying sober!
>
> rini

[Indigo Mom]

Rini...I absolutely understand where you're coming from.  You have personal knowledge of sexual molestation, but none when it comes to drug abuse.

I promise you...if you research this particular drug, you will come to the same conclusion as me...neither is fit or proper to handle a sack of pinto beans...let alone a child.

I am the complete opposite of you.  I've no personal knowledge of molestation, but I've seen, first hand, what drug abuse does to a child.  I HAVE a child that was in the hands of a drug addict...and trust me when I say...it is UGLY!!!!!  (i can safely say, monster didn't sexually abuse my child)

You said "if those children are molested while in his care they will never fully recover as a victim myself i am well aware of the mark that type of abuse leaves. "

My response to that?  Come visit my house one day.  I give you permission to view my childs arms, legs, back, hands, stomach, butt, feet, and face...you can view the scars he has received from most BRUTAL attacks.  You can also view his mouth.  In his mouth, you will notice NOT ONE tooth in "good" condition.  My son has had MAJOR work done on EVERY tooth in his mouth (the ones that haven't been knocked out) due to years of neglect.  You can view pictures of him from a few years ago, sickly looking, and see his healthy weight gain since being away from drugs. Food?  Screw feeding this kid, monster wanted drugs!!! You can also "observe" him, his behavior...and you will see, after a short time, that my son will NEVER fully recover as a victim of a drug addicted "person in charge".  

So, I have a similar response to yours.  Squish both of our posts together, yours with the effects of sexual molestation, mine with the effects of a drug addicted monster, and you will come to the same conclusion as I...children do not DESERVE to be in either home.  Toss in  the fact that peanut has more than likely seen children from BOTH situations, and we all believe the same thing.  

oh, and before I forget...one of the most noticable things about people addicted to drugs?  They couldn't tell the truth to save their lives...what you hear is their "version" of "their" truth...which, BTW...is not anywhere close to our reality.  

I will never come close to tolerating a drug addicted parent...



http://www.drug-effects.com/crystal-meth-effects.htm