Being overseas is tough...help!!!

[weblove]

I am currently living overseas and I was issued divorce papers 3 days before I left. Not enough time to get legal advice.

My father in law is bankrupt and on unemployment. My step mother in law has been the bread winner and has no time for my daughter. My wife is slightly mentally retarded and in need of supervision herself.

The div papers mention my wife's parents as joint physical custodians of my daughter and me only as a joint legal custodian. I want to atleast have secondary joint custody if not primary once I return to the US in 2 years.

My question is can grand parents be joint custodians? Do I need to dispute this as I still have that 30 day period to dispute it? If not will my inaction be percieved as being uninterested in my daughter? Will I be able to easily get secondary custody of my daughter once I return?

[patton]

I have a cousin who agreed to something similar between the grandparents and NOW the grandparents are causing all kinds of friction.
Trying to get Physical Custody, then joint custody, and still causing problems.

Yes the grandparents can be appointed joint custodians.  You need to talk with an attorney, BUT if your Ex is basically not in the picture, and you are appointed the Primary Custodial Parent then you can let them have a one year guardianship, which will EXPIRE in exactly one year or limit it to 6 months.  

However long you are gone.  I'm assuming you are in the Military, but you didn't say.  

DO NOT under any circumstances give up any PERMANENT rights to your child.  Be sure there is a TIME LIMIT in any paperwork.  Talk with an attorney on this.

[MixedBag]

If it's military, get the courts to stay the entire proceedings based on the SSCRA -- make her wait two years to get a divorce.

YOU should have joint custody -- and if what you say is true, primary residential custody as well.  

Get it right the first time....

And yes, the clock is ticking.

[weblove]

No I am not in the millitary. I have taken a job abroad.  BTW, my wife is the primary custodian and the case is in California.

What options do I have if I dont dispute this?
Will my comming back to the US be enough "Change in Circumstance" to ask the court to review the custody arrangements?
Will the fact that I could be remarried by then and may not have spent enough time with my child work against me?

Thanks a whole bunch.

[weblove]

If I do, what will happen if there is a hearing and I do not go?
The case is in Orange County, California.

[Peanutsdad]

If you dont refute this, it essentially means you accept whatever guidelines the grandparents and the court outline for you. ie; you get to pay lots of money, and get damn little time with the kids. BUT, with you being out of the country,, you arent excercising regular visitation anyhow, correct?

Being remarried will have no bearing. Not spending time with the kids will have a significant impact on how things go in court.

Returning to the US would constitute a change in circumstances for you, usually tho, its a change in circumstances of the cp thats required for you to advance a custody mod. I dont know how that plays out when the bio parent is not a cp.