Gaining Custody

[harmon]

I'm new here, but I've been reading for a while.  I'm relying on your wisdom and experience to guide me here.

I've been divorced for 2 years.  I have 2 kids, but only have shared legal custody of them.  I want to change our cusstody situation but there are some obstacles.  My ex took me to CPS and to court last year to take away any co-parenting that I had.  She said I assaulted one of our kids.  The judge ruled that I had to take anger management to get my visitation back.

Long story short, I haven't done it yet.  And I don't plan on it.  The claims were manufactured, lies and I didn't show up for court that day.  So I went down.  Now, the ex is not working and I'm hoping to get a lawyer and get the custody reversed.

There's lots more to the story of course, but I'll keep it short for now.  Has anyone been in a situation like this.  Do I have a chance?

[DK]

I have questions.

How does your ex say you assulted your child?
Why didn't you show up to defend yourself if it didn't happen?
Your choose not to show up, then you should take the classes.

[Peanutsdad]

In light of your decision not to appear in court to defend yourself and your parenting time with your children,, I cant help but think perhaps the judge made the right call.

Your decision to arbitrarily defy the judges decision about anger management classes, places you in contempt,, which obviously doesnt bother you. Nor does it seem to bother you that you have no visitation due to this. I have to wonder if you are paying any support for your children.


I would have to say, in light of this, any motion you try to bring before the court has very little chance,, as the judge already knows you have issues and a blatant defiance of the court.

My own personal feeling,, without knowing anymore about this,, is the kids are better off where they are, as I seriously suspect your motives here.


But, hey,, dont listen to me,, I am not an attorney,, pony up the money for a retainer,, and have a go at it.

Good luck

[Indigo Mom]

-----The judge ruled that I had to take anger management to get my visitation back.

Long story short, I haven't done it yet. And I don't plan on it. The claims were manufactured, lies and I didn't show up for court that day. So I went down. Now, the ex is not working and I'm hoping to get a lawyer and get the custody reversed.-----

You want help.  No one else can even begin to help you if you won't help yourself.  You didn't even bother to appear at your child abuse hearing?  Good gawd...talk about sealing ones own fate and not being the slightest bit concerned.  You pretty much admitted guilt, and are continuing to defy a Judges order because "you don't like it".  Well, guess what pal...no one "likes" what Judges have to say or what they do.  Consider yourself screwed something chronic...but don't blame anyone BUT yourself.  

A parent who is falsely accused of something doesn't just walk away.  They fight.  They fight til it's over, then CONTINUE to fight!  I can't BELIEVE you actually admitted that you didn't show up for your hearing.  I'm sitting here literally laughing my ass off!  Sheesh.

Until you cool your jets, until you do what you were ORDERED to do...don't even think about getting custody, cause you won't.  Your anger issues are showing.....not kewl.  

Begin thinking of your children and not yourself.  By failing to appear at a MOST important child abuse hearing, by failing to take the mandatory classes...you're showing exactly how important your children are.  

-----Do I have a chance?-----

Does a snowball have a chance in hell?

[harmon]

Been thinking about what has been said.  I guess that is pretty much how all view me.  I'm sure my ex does.  I hope my kids don't.
I've been proud and boastful I know.  I was hoping to catch ex at a weak point and make it my gain.  I know my kids miss me, they want to see me- even my son.  I didn't mean to hurt him, but he forgives me.  I'll come back sometime and let you knwo how we are doing.

[tulip]

I didn't mean to hurt him? So you did assault your son? Well, then I would say you definitely NEED to go to these classes. If you physically hurt your child, and act like it's no big deal, you don't have any right to have custody of him.

Also, any parent who REALLY wants their kids because they LOVE them and want to do what's right will do anything they can to get them or see them. WHATEVER it takes.

The fact that the mother is not working will not help you either. It means that she now has more time to spend with her children. You are legally and morally obligated to support your children in any way you can. Taking them away from their mother by taking advantage of her weakness is not the way to show your kids you love them. They way to show your love is to prove that you are truly sorry for what you did to your son and do whatever you can to ensure it won't happen again.

[Peanutsdad]

Jeezus H jumpin crist on a pogo stick!!!! Are you for real????

Listen up and listen well: The more you type, the more I am sure the judge not only made a good call in your case, I'd say he let you off easy.

Count your blessings you arent sitting in a jail cell makin that sweet midnight lovin with big ol bubba.

Your statement of the kids missing you,, but you dont say a thing about how you feel,, other than you are boastful and that you didnt MEAN to hurt your son.      Buddy, that tells me a lot right there. You need to seriously seek professional help, and personally....I wouldnt allow you anywhere near those kids until you got it.


You are just the kind of shmuck that makes custody fights and visitation so damn difficult for the dads that truly DO care.

[Kitty C.]

Do I need to come down there and take your BP???  ;-)


Don't worry, I agree with you 100%, especially that last sentence.........

[Indigo Mom]

----Been thinking about what has been said. I guess that is pretty much how all view me. I'm sure my ex does. I hope my kids don't.-----

ME ME ME.  Is this all about you?  Poor you?  You're sad that everyone thinks you're a MORON?  Look what you did!!!!!  You didn't "bother" to show up to your hearing!  You didn't "bother" to go to your court ordered anger management classes!  You're above the law...aren't you?  NOT.  

-----I've been proud and boastful I know. I was hoping to catch ex at a weak point and make it my gain. -----

You have NO RIGHT to be proud and boastful..though people who hurt children don't have "high expectations" now do they???  Why the HELL do you want to catch your ex at a weak point?  YOU are a walking weak point.

-----I know my kids miss me, they want to see me- even my son. -----

In your soggy dreams, buddy.  ME ME ME...when are you EVER going to learn that it ain't all about you, ya selfish schmoo.

-----I didn't mean to hurt him, but he forgives me. -----

Now THIS is classic.  Classic from abusers, that is.  "But...but...but...your Honor, I didn't mean to hurt him, but he wouldn't SHUT UP" "but but but your Honor...I didn't mean to kill him, but he made me mad".  Classic classic CLASSIC abuser excuse.  He forgives you?  no, dear...he's A-F-R-A-I-D of you.

-----I'll come back sometime and let you knwo how we are doing.-----

Please....ME ME ME...send your ex here.  She'll get more assistance than you ever will, ya child abuser!  

You accept NO responsibility for what you did!  I don't even want to know what you did to him..i'm in no mood to vomit on my keyboard.  You don't even try to OWN your mistakes.  You need to get off that high and mighty horse you're on...cause if you keep hurting children...you'll end up being bubba's bitch!  Now wouldn't that be a hoot?

i feel ill.






*****"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your own." - Robert A. Heinlein*****