Want to get custody and leave the state of VA

[smmaxx]

I am a SAHM with my 3 yr old daughter I have worked part time on and off.  I have been thinking of filing for separation and custody for years.  I left with her a year ago but he talked me into coming back. I don't have an income or any support system or family in VA.  I moved here to be with him b/c he was previously in the Military and I was pregnant  so we married.  I can't file for separation/custody unless move into a separate domiciles which I can't do unless I go back to FL where my family is.  He wants ME to leave but says I cant take her.  I don't think he can care for her, he works a lot, has an hour commute and also has a big drinking problem. He has DUI from some years ago and I have had the police come out twice for him assaulting me. I am afraid to go in fromt of a judge because I am on a lot of medications for depression and voluntarily hospitalized myself in 2002 to balance my meds.  He is going to try to use that against me.  I've met with 2 lawyers but I don't want to pick the wrong one. They suggest we present him with an agreement but he will NEVER sign anything giving me primary physical custody.  He already said he doesn't want to pay child support.  He makes 50,000 and I made 8,000 last year.  Do I have a chance of getting her and leaving the state?????  Please Help Me I am Desperate...

[Help me keep my son]

  *********First of Sweety Take a deep breath **********
Now Number  1 what you need to do is Talk with your family and make sure that you have a place to stay out in florida he works so that means that your daughter is not with him so take a visit to your family with her
and have a vacation from him that should help with deppresion and get off the meds u really dont need them theres plenty other ways to get rid of deppression drugs are harmful even if there over the counter get situated and file over in florida now he has to take the fight for custody over there if he is really the way you say than he should not be around your daughter and he would not fight for custody  in another state the first person to file usually comes out the victor take that into account  and also harmful relationships leads to your own self destruction

[kiddosmom]

OK, first off DO take a breather...
Second, do not listen to the poster above, you can get in serious trouble.

You have to file in the state the child LIVES in. You cannot just take him to another state then file. That state would not have juristiction for at LEAST 6 months. and while you are waiting for that 6 months, he could file in the state he is in.

A DUI a 'few years ago' will not do much for you, but make sure you get a copy of the record.
Saying he is a drunk will not do much for you unless you can prove it, again do make a note of it.

When the police came to your home was the father arrested? If he was or was not there should be some kind of report made, you will need to get copies. This will help in a custody battle.


Everyone here will tell you 'Document document and more Document'

SOme one got a link for getting started for this lady?

[kiddosmom]

You cannot take the baby out of the juristiction of the court untill you have gotten custody, and while asking for custody ask, or after, petitioning the court for a relocation.

[Davy]

Many children have been harmed and otherwise exploited by a parent attempting to do what you are anticipating.  There are many studies and statistics to bear out this exploitation allowing many laws, both civil and criminal, to be enacted over a lot of years to PROTECT children in these matters.

Apparently, the two attorneys you contacted advised you likewise.

It might be best for the child if you just go back to FL. and live with your parents then get a good paying job so you will be able to at least financially support your child.  Perhaps the father could become a SAHD and the child would be best served.

It is best not to remove the child from the other parent.