Am I needlessly worrying myself?

[hisliltulip]

Ok, here's the situation...

I have physical custody of son and joint legal with ex.

However, he has supervised visitation due to extreme mental issues.

Our son starts kindergarten in the fall and I just received the paperwork to fill out.

It asks for Father's info, Mother's info, Step-Father's and Step-Mother's.

Yes, I will put ex's name and address on the form, but I do NOT feel that he needs to be on the "call" list.

Yes we have joint legal, but his visits are supervised once a month. (And the supervision continues until son is 18.)

Am I wrong about this one? Can I get in trouble for not putting him on list?

I could be needlessly worrying about it. Since son and I moved to same state as ex 3 years ago, ex has NEVER asked where son went to daycare or preschool. But I want to CMA!


BETH

[djwhite]

You have a couple of options here.... 1) You could not put his name on anything and if he should happen to go to the school to see his son or pick him up from school, the school would not allow it without proof that he is in fact the father, and they would call you.  Or.... 2) you could put his name on the paperwork and not on the call list.  The school would not call him without your permission.  The important thing for you to do with this choice is to give the school a copy of the court order stating what the custody/visitation arrangement is.  Otherwise, without the copy of the court order, the school would have to let the son go with his father if he tried to pick him up from school because they have his name on record as being the father.  So be sure to include a copy of the court order in your son's school records.  Hope this helps!

[hisliltulip]

I had already planned on giving them a copy of the CO, that's a given!

I want his name and address on documents so that copies of the report cards get mailed to him, I just don't want them calling him when son gets sick at school and stuff.

We ran into this at the preschool with DH's son.  The school called BM instead of DH or me.  So she went to school, picked him up, and didn't let DH or me know.  So when I arrived to pick boys up, SS wasn't there, and I didn't know where he was...

[MixedBag]

Just highlight the supervised part because that's what I was thinking, give the school a copy of the order and really TALK to them since you have "supervised" stuff in your order.

[janM]

My grandson's preschool/daycare has a list of people that can pick him up so that only they can, unless my son notifies them that someone else will be. And even then the first time they come they have to have ID with them. Even his mom and my husband. Mom is actually not on the list right now but that's another story...

[Brent]

>
>Yes, I will put ex's name and address on the form, but I do
>NOT feel that he needs to be on the "call" list.

He should be. What if something happens to you? He *is* the child's other parent, you know.


>Am I wrong about this one? Can I get in trouble for not
>putting him on list?

You could get into trouble over it, because many courts will see this as 'passive interference' or not looking out for the welfare of the child properly by providing full and proper contact info.

The real question is, what harm does it do to list him? Probably none. You're better off listing him. If something happened and he wasn't listed, you'll look bad to the court, and unless you explain why you deliberately didn't list him, you could end up on the wrong side of the court- not the place you want to be.
 

[Yngsmommy]

we did the same thing.

DF's daughter started public kindergarten last year.  Our emergency cards actually state

"Parent/Guardian/Other"
"Other adult who lives with the child."

Then on the back it says to list any NCP and attach the custody order. We put BM's information on the back, DF and myself on the front, and attached the order.

When asked about what would happen regarding the custody order, we were told BM could volunteer in her class and hang out.  BUT SD would NOT be allowed to leave premisis with her. In fact she would be picked up by an individual, or take her bus to be picked up by an appropriate individual.

The reason BM wasnt allowed to take her was it specifically says in the court order "weekends Friday from 7pm to SUnday 7pm."  So unless she was at school at 7pm on a friday...BM wouldnt be allowed to take her out of school.

The school told us they WILL pull the file and follow the court order exactly.  Of course BM never volunteered, I do all the time and they would wonder who the weird lady was if she ever showed to pick up SD.

[hisliltulip]

"He *is* the child's other parent, you know."

I realize he is the other parent.  However, him being alone with the child is a HUGE risk.  When ex deems himself "well" he stops taking medication.  When off this medication, he has "visions" to kill son.  When off his medication, he sees DS as a "sin to dispose of".

I think that also answers your question of "What harm could happen"...

I truly am not trying to be "the big bad ex", but his actions when off his medication terrify me.  

It's my job to protect our son, even if it's from his own Father.