Taking Custody of my sister

[saintboyce]

I'm looking to take custody (and possibly guardianship) of my 5-year-old sister.  

My mother is disabled (but not collecting money), and is in too much pain to work.  Right now she lives with her ex-husband Bob, who basically taking care of her.  She hasn't worked for about two years, and has no savings.  They live out in the middle of nowhere, and Michaela (my sister) has no one to play with.  My Mother and Bob don't get along, and she gets fed up and goes back home very once in a while.  In January, she moved back home for a couple of weeks -- to a place with no water or heat.  The place can't even have water because the pipes are busted.  Her house is always a pit, because she's too sick to be running after a 5yo cleaning up her messes.

Michaela's father isn't in the picture, but he's on the birth certificate.  He openly says that he murdered his best friend and beat the system, so that's a strike against him, I guess.  He's also a drug abuser, and any random drug test would snag him.  He's also extremely violent, but that's not documented.

They were never married, so there was never a custody battle.  I doubt he would even care about me taking guardianship, but if he did, I don't think the courts would send my sister to him.  Actually I think he would be elated that he wouldn't have to pay child support (not that he does anyway), since I wouldn't want any.

Right now Michaela lives with her mother, but I've been thinking about asking if Michaela could "stay" with me so she'd have friends to play with and my mother wouldn't have to take care of her.  Any ideas on how I should go about this?  I'm a bit worried about the fact that I'm not married (engaged since last June), and I'm pretty young.  But I was the one who took care of her when we lived in the same house, so I'm not unprepared for a child.  Any help is appreciated.

Thanks,

Saint Boyce

[mango]

I wonder if you could just get your mom to enroll her in you local school, as if she lived with you. (Your mom that is).

Just keep it under wraps with your mom.

I'd be leary of the dad. Who knows what he is capable of....

If you start a custody litigation he may just get territorial for now real reason other then, he can.

Just a thought.

[saintboyce]

Well, the school thing isn't really my biggest issue with Michaela being in her custody.  The biggest one is her inability to take care of her.  I've taken care of her for four of five years, and all she ever asks me is when I'm moving back in because she doesn't want to be there by herself (as in with no one to play with).  I'm very concerned about what this situation is doing to her emotionally.  She lives in a dirty house where people fight all the time, and she has no one to talk to and nothing to do for fun.  It really bothers me that she's there and I'm here.

My mother lives about 60 or so miles away (we live in Oklahoma--me in Tulsa and her in Okmulgee County), so I couldn't make the trip back and forth.  If I could get my mother to let Michaela move in, would that help my chances of keeping her?  Also, can I enroll her in school without a formal guardianship agreement?

I'mgoing to do this without a lawyer, are there any special concerns I should know about?  And can she give me guardianship without the father knowing?

[kiddosmom]

you should ask soc about this, make sure you read his guidlines for posting, he can give you your answers.