Help Im desperite

[Bethann247]

  I have 2 children and their BF had to go for child support and after the reccomdation he has decided to go for custody but he only want custody of our son. He tried to sereve me papers and like an idiot i tore them out without reading them. I have called the court and they tell me there is no hearing scheduled. I know he has got a lawyer but being a single mom I cant. I am a good mother and I have been there provider all their lives. We lived with him for a year and a half and moved out in February of 2003. We live in different countys. He has a prison record and 2 domestic assaults on me. But yet butter melts in his mouth and I am worried. Our son says he wants to live with his dad but thats because dad is fun. He has no ground rules with him and I am more strict. They dont miss school and they are well cared for. But yet I am worried, I have never had to deal with anything like this and I am not sure what I need to do. I have recently filed a ppo on him but I still allow him to see the kids, But every time he talks to our son who is 6 years old, he tells him all about this custody issue and now I am rethinking letting him call the kids. What should I do, any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

[tulip]

Your post is very difficult to read, so I want to clarify what I think I just read.

-You are the current custodial parent of the two children.
-You were not married to the father.
-When you started collecting child support, he decided he wanted custody of only one of the children.
-He served you with papers, and you did not read them, so you don't know what they were about.

Is all this correct?
A six year old boy cannot choose which parent he wants to live with because one parent is more fun. He would have to show the kids are in endangered or would be better off living with him, to have any chance of taking custody away from you. I don't think he has any chance of doing that, since he is only interested in one of the children.
Call your county's legal aid and see if you can get assistance from them. If he filed a motion with the court, you should be able to get a copy of it, but you will have to find it first. Don't EVER throw anything away without reading it. Big mistake.

[Bethann247]

Yes you got it all correct. Thank you for the advice. I know throwing it away was not the smartest thing. regretting it now. He has served me with phony papers 3 times in the past and I thought this was just another one of his ploys. I have contacted the court where our sons child support is through and they show nothing of him filing for custody. I am still looking around. I was told that he would have to file through the court that his child support case was through. However he has an attorney and they said he could be filling privatley (whatever that means) I have tried contacting legal aid but havent had any response yet. He has a history of violence on record. ANd I have already met with my childrens schools to get reports and possibly character statements from them. fortunatlay they know me well there. I know deep down that he cant take them away they have always lived with me, But I am still scrared.

[Peanutsdad]

If he has an attrny, I strongly urge you to seek guidance from one yourself.
He would need grounds to file for an ex parte hearing. Otherwise, you have to be served with papers by a process server in order for there to be any kind of hearing.


Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm


 http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm



One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


 Contempt, Child Support Enforcement and You
This article will address what exactly contempt of court means to you, and more importantly, what to do about it.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/contempt.htm