Can I get custody

[John4di]

If I can prove that my wife (soon be ex) does have an affair, is it possible I can get custody of my 3 years old son?

[Ref]

Generally, having an affair doesn't effect custody. I guess the judge could consider the morality, but chances are you need more than that.
Are you divorced already or are you planning?

[littlebit]

I would say a definite no.  My x-wife admitted in writing to multiple affairs, with men and women.  The courts will not take that into account because it is irrelevant in regards to parenting skills.  

[John4di]

I am planning to get divorced. Is there any chance that I can get the custody in case I can not prove that she don't have ablity to take care the child? I just can not lose the custody of my boy. I'd like to pay any price to get my boy with me.

isn't it unfair? she distoried out family and will also take my boy with her too

[Ref]

The first thing you NEED to make sure is that you establish yourself as the main parent. If there is ANY way possible. Make sure your child is with you more than the other parent. Be the main contact for daycare. Talk to pediatricians, teachers, daycare workers and MAKE SURE they know you.

There is so much information that is out there for you that wasn't available at the time of many of our divorces.

On the Father's page there is a posting mentioning "The List". Read that. I'm sure people a little more computer savy can post the links for "Getting Started". Read as much as you can in the articles and PLEASE get a good attorney. You can read-up on this in the articles page too.

Don't be the nice guy. Play nice on the outside but prepare yourself for war. It is not impossible for you to be the primary parent. Just be smart and don't let anger or guilt or anything else get in the way.

PS Don't tell your ex or your lawyer that you would pay any price to be with your boy. They will take you up on the offer.

[John4di]

I think I am in big trouble. I am not good at communicate with people. So usually my wife take cares daycare, pediatricians as such. I do play more with my boy at home, but no one could prove that? I really love my boy, I can trade my life for his (even my wife aggress that I will if it is needed, but she could not), but I don't think it will help. I am learning everything I could now. And I sure will hire the best lawyer in town. I could not lose my boy. . I am sure she will get married again, I could not let him live with someone who can not take care him as good as I could. I will fight to the end of my life. I know willing to fight may not help either, but that's the best I could do.

Please give me your idea; any help and idea are appreciated.

[hisliltulip]

Here is what I personally would do.

Offer to take son while she "finds herself" for six months.

If that doesn't fly, then do what my DH did.  When he petitioned for temp custody, she countered that she should have temp custody.

He said "Why don't we alternate weeks?  That way it is more fair since we both want custody."  She did it, and since the custody battle took a year and a half, the status quo of who the primary parent was 50/50.

Therefore her attorney's ramblings of BM being the primary parent didn't hold any weight.

Remember, since you are married, you are just as legally a parent as the Mother.  You don't HAVE to let her take him.

DH didn't know this, and it could have really screwed him up.  Fortunetly, the BM is an idiot so he got custody.

Get yourself a very good FAMILY lawyer.

What state are you in by the way?