custody of daughter

[ladybug40]

My 17 year old daughter wants to live with me but her father refuses to let her. she has tried to kill herself many times because of his control over her. she is now in state custody and we have to go to family court on june 30th i am guessing its to decide where she is to live. She has repeatedly said if she has to be placed with her father she will make sure she does it right, meaning she will kill herself.. He is a firefighter and has many contacts and my daughter finally called social services herself just to get something done. she is in a treatment place until court. I have a good home and can provide well for her. I have tried to tell people about catching him in bed with my oldest daughter, fondling her and who knows what would have happened if i hadn't walked in. he also makes my daughter pull her pants down in front of him to make sure she isn't wearing thong underware. She has tried to run away many times just to get out of this situation. What can i do to get someone to listen to us? What kind of attorney do i need to get to help. His wife also is a drug user. and he claims he gave her a drug test and she passed, well i know there are tablets that can be bought that can fool that test. I just need help.

[SallyandJack]

it sounds like your daughter is the key to solving her problem.  she is old enough to talk to the judge herself.  you may not even need a lawyer.  But you and your daughter should file certifications which explain what has been happening.  Ask your court on how to do this.but if you do have the money and want to get a lawyer anyway, a matrimonial lawyer would be good.  they focus on custody issues. (http://www.aaml.org/)

I am glad she is getting the help she needs.  This will be the judge's main concern...that your daughter get help.  Even when she lives with you, she will still need help.  maybe it would be a good idea to line up appointments with a psychiatrist and a support group before you go to court so that when you go, you can tell the judge you've done this and it shows that you are taking steps that are in your daughter's best interest.

also, testimony or a certification from your oldest daughter could be helpful too.  the only thing though is if your ex is a sexual abuser...trying to tell people isn't good enough, something should have been done about it a long time ago.  if you saw this happening, why does he have custody in the first place?

[ladybug40]

Well to be honest this is what happened. My ex was cheating and i knew he was but before i had time to file for anything he had already filed for divorce, his lawyer told me i had 4 days to get out of the house and when i signed papers i thought the papers where divorce papers, turns out there was also the custody clause in there. I didn't read the papers well enough and i didn't have a lawyer myself. No excuse i know but everything happened so fast and i was just glad to get rid of him i didn't know i signed custody over to him. My oldest left with me but the other two are still in his custody. My oldest has told the social worker of the sexual abuse, and my youngest also told the social worker she also saw him in her sisters bed in his underware. The state has custody of my middle one, she is the one who tried to kill herself. Right now he has no legal right to her and no access to her. The place where she is only keeps patients for 30 days and she has 5 days left there. I found out my ex is getting his lawyer to file to get my middle one sent to a military school on Ft.Knox here in Kentucky but i don't know if that can happen with the state having custody. The judge is the one who took custody from him May 14th and we are suppose to go back to court june 30th to decide where she will be placed. So far everything looks good for me. But i am worried about the petiton to get her sent to military school. I don't know if the judge will grant this or not. God if this judge has any brains he won't but who knows, because then this will give him access to her and she swears she will kill herself if he gets any access to her.. He doesn't care about her at all, all he wants is what he wants. All she wants is to live with me..I have spoken to a few lawyers and just to get started i need 5,000 dollars, i just don't have that kind of money. I thought when a child gets a certian age they can decide. But i guess i was wrong.