I really need help, advice, and to get pointed in the right direction....Please help

[mjpisat]

I have a 7 month old daughter that has just rocked my world.  

Here is a little background:
Anyway, I live with her mother who has been my "girlfriend" for the past four years.  It is really not a relationship any more.  My g/f, we'll call her D, has a son.  I had been with D for about two and a half years when I decided to buy a house and I asked her to move in with me.  I figured it was time to take a shot.  About a month before I went to settlement, we found out she was pregnant.  Since then, it has been misery.  We just do not get along.  She is very nasty to me in front of her son, so he thinks it's ok to disrespect me also.  She doesn't discipline the kid what so ever.  Just yesterday he hit her and ten minutes later he was outside playing.  As long as he doesn't bother me, I just keep my mouth shut because she has threatened me with calling the police if I was to lay a hand on him.  I could go on for about ten pages with everything that's wrong, but you get the point.  This situation is just no way to live.  

I love my daughter and it kills me to think about not seeing her every day, but it's not about me.  It's what is best for her.  Our house is such a cold place.  I know as she grows up, she'll realize that.

D refuses to leave.  I'm at the point now where I'm probably just going to sell MY house.  

I just have so many worries when it comes to my daughter.  I would try to get full custody, but I do not have a single person within a three hour drive that could help me out.  I could afford to pay day care, but D's parents don't work and could watch the baby while D works.  I'm not that lucky.  D also threatens me that I will only see my daughter every two weeks.

A huge worry for me is what happens once you split and you have to wait to go to court?  If she lives with D, is it up to her when I get to see her?  If she keeps me from seeing her, we're going to have some major problems.

I know I have to find a lawyer, but I guess I was just looking to see what other people have been through.

Any help would be appreciated.

[Kitty C.]

You gotta face some cold, hard facts here, Dad.  YOU own the home and she's only livng there because of your good will.  If you don't want her there, kick her out.  In the meantime, you must file for paternity.  If she asks why, tell her it's to protect the baby legally, which really is the truth, but not in the way she expects it.  Once you have paternity established, kick her out, and file for custody at the same time.

Since you aren't married, she automatically has custody, but YOU will have to legally establish it and the first move is establishing paternity.