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Thinking about changing attorneys for custody trial

Started by kitten, Jul 07, 2004, 11:33:10 AM

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kitten

My BF is thinking about getting a new attorney for his upcoming custody trial.  We are desperate to keep the kids in the state and feel as though his current attorney is letting the system roll over us.  Will this make him look bad to the court?

DecentDad

Better to have the mos competent attorney at trial that you can afford.

If you BF is changing attorneys every 3 months for a few years, then it says something about him.

Otherwise, the court knows that parents change attorneys all the time, and it'd be a definite disadvantage to stick with an attorney who sucks.

Find an attorney who has had much experience in move-aways.

DD

kitten

Thank you, DD.  He has a friend who is recommending a father's rights attorney with move-away experience.  We really like our attorney now, but feel at this point we do need someone with more experience.  Last week, BM was given permission to fly children to AK for 4 week vacation, but has to be back Aug. 5th.  We got a call this weekend from Canadian Border Patrole asking if he will allow BM to bring children into Canada.  He said "Not without a court order." which she did not have.   I think any of us would have done the same.  BF's attorney told him he should have let them go and that now "we will look stupid in court."  BF argues that she is a flight risk and was given permission to fly to AK not drive and certainly not to leave USA.

DecentDad

You need an attorney who will aggressively advocate your position.  "Liking" an attorney is nothing if the attorney is not effective.

It's reasonable to refuse to allow a child to leave the country prior to a custody trial.

DD

Kitty C.

Stand your ground on that one.  Her atty. is just trying to make you look bad, but the Border Patrol would NOT have called you without a valid reason.  ESPECIALLY since she told the judge she was flying and now has made a radical change in plans.  If she is a flight risk, you have EVERYright to refuse entry without a CO.  And trust me, if she gets to the border, they will NOT allow her to pass with the kids!  

About 5 years ago, DS's dad had a rare opportunity to take DS to his hometown, Winnepeg, while DS spent the summer with him.  I was all for it, as I thought it would be great for DS to see how and where his dad grew up, plus get to see some relatives he'd never met.  So his dad and I wrote up an agreement that we BOTH consented to the trip, making two originals so we each would have one.  I also got a letter from DS's doctor for his ADHD meds, since they are a controlled substance.  Come to find out, DS had an easier time getting over the border than his dad, since he hadn't updated his immigrant status, LOL!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

Bolivar OH

It means nothing to have a new attorney.  I have changed attorneys numerous times.

THE PROBLEM:
You must inform your new attorney about everything going on.  Do NOT leave out any details.  Make sure you have a list of bullet points outlining what has taken place.

I went into court for a visitation change with a new attorney.  We got smashed.  The new attorney was not up to date on all the nuances of the past.

So yes, get a new attorney if the one you has is doing a poor job.  But, make sure you fill in all the pertinent details of your case.

This is my humble opinion.

silvertone

I am currently in the process of deciding wheather to choose a high priced attorney or an experienced paralegal.  I guess if someone is fighting for visitation they could look at other visitation forms for an idea of what to ask for ie. each parent split travel expenses, phone access,  move away injunction ect.  Fathers rights .com (who introduced me to sparc) has an example form which can be cut and pasted in word progrtam then you could change/modify the example form to fit your situation. You then could submit the form to the clerk of court for mediation with out spending a dime. Remeber the mediator is not a judge and it is only meant to broker a deal between bm and bf.  If the parents do not reach some type of agreement then you will be in front of a judge. I do suggest some type of compotent legal navigation. BUt I am hearing that a knowledgable paralegal can be just as effective for visitation/time share.  For a custody war I would look for a good attorney.  I just realized that i am babbing on.  My battle is so uphill unfair and screwed up, that I get lost when talking to others.  

kitten

Thank you all for your response.  
We waited a couple of days and called border patrol back and a very rude female agent told us they let them through.  We don't know where they are now, but found out through a "mutual friend" of BM that they should arrive in Alaska on the 11th.  We will try to find out if they are there.  Last night BM had 7 yr old call from a pay phone.  She stood behind him and told him what to say.  BF meets with new attorney this Sunday.  We will spend tomorrow getting everything together for the consultation.  Hopefully this attorney can bring contempt charges and use this in trial.(if they do not stay in Canada).  Current attorney seems to think it won't matter.  We'll see....

kitten

BM, her fiance and children did arrive in Alaska Thur. night.  BF spoke w/7 yr old son on Friday night.  7 yr old whispered into the phone that BM's fiance hit him!!!  The man has known the children 7 days!!!  BM said it was an "accident" and that he apologized to son.  BF called AK state troopers and AK CPS.  Troopers started an investigation and gave BF good advice.  Spoke to 7 yr old last night...trooper paid them a visit and BM hid children in the bathroom while he was there.  She told 7 yr old when he asked about trooper that he is a friend of fiance just paying a friendly visit.  7 yr old also said that there is no working toilet in fiance's house nd that they all have to go in buckets and then take it outside!!!  BF will be in contact with CPS today and will have them check out the conditions also.  As I write this, I think to myself how unbeleivable this seems, but it is really happening!  7 yr old also stated to BM that he hates it there and hates her fiance and wants to go home and be with Dad.  He begged BF to let him live with him, BF just said he is doing the best he can.  So many broken hearts because of one woman's vengence.
Met with new attorney yesterday, found out she has marvelous credentials and has written books about child custody and the evaluation process.  Told us that the evaluator that was used for BF's case is a Feminazi Lesbian that hates "type A" personality men.  Well....that explains ALOT.  Also mentioned that along with other evidence, the hitting incident will be in BF's favor and could turn case around.  She did honestly say that his chances are slim, but there is a chance and she knows what angle to use.  She has also challenged this evaluator in the past and won.  She is the only attorney she knows of that has.  She also knows the judge that agreed to trial very well and is the best judge for BF.  She says she can also postpone contempt trial since that is what BM is counting on to go in her favor before the custody trial.  Attorney does feel however that contempt against BF may not be an issue because the accusations are weak at best.  We will continue to hope for the best.  Thank you all for your advice.  We are glad we met this attorney!  

Bolivar OH

Sounds like you have a good attorney.  

I would like to pass along one my experiences with attorneys.  They are sales people.  Part of there job is to make you feel better.  They want you as a client.  Some attorneys will paint a rosy picture and in the end offer nothing.

I am not trying to be a pessimist.  I have been SOLD something that was in no way possible.

However, it appears like you have found a good attorney.

Check out this site questions to ask your new attorney.

http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/div_ans10.htm