OK, what should we do??

[lucky]

Stipulated agreement -- pbfh gets sole physical of osd (turns 18 on 5/5/04) and dh retains sole physical of ss & ysd.  Neither will pay cs so long as they EACH retain physical custody of at least one of the children.  Each is solely responsible for all medical, dental, other medical type bills, including insurance; for the child(ren) in their physical custody.

Pbfh kicked osd out today.  Osd refuses to come live with us (won't follow the rules and how do you MAKE an almost 18 yo live with you and/or follow the rules?).  Osd is going to live with her maternal aunt till she turns 18.  We're ok with that, EXCEPT....

Pbfh receives cash assistance, food stamps and medical assistance for osd.  Obviously if osd doesn't live there, the eligibility ends.  Dh does not pay cs to repay this due to the stipulated court order.

Aunt asked pbfh for some cash to help out with osd's necessities, and laundry.  Pbfh flipped out on aunt stating that she didn't even have her own laundry done she couldn't afford to give aunt money to take care of osd's stuff.  So aunt said that SHE had to apply with the county to help with osd's expenses -- which means that dh will be hit with cs probably -- but not for several months, probably well after osd turns 18.  Which we cannot afford.  I told aunt to NOT apply, we will purchase osd's necessities and she can come here to do laundry.  

Anyway, I think that I've convinced the aunt to NOT apply for benefits so that bullet is dodged.  HOWEVER, if osd does NOT live with pbfh, then, even though she has custody on paper, she does not REALLY have custody, right?  And, aunt will more than likely sign a statement saying that osd lives with her for us if necessary.

Couldn't we then file for a cs modification since dh has custody of the younger two and the oldest -- who pbfh [em]technically[/em] has custody -- pbfh doesn't actually support?

Honestly, this bitch deserves to be drawn and quartered, but they don't let us do that, so can we go after money?

[Peanutsdad]

>Stipulated agreement -- pbfh gets sole physical of osd (turns
>18 on 5/5/04) and dh retains sole physical of ss & ysd.
>Neither will pay cs so long as they EACH retain physical
>custody of at least one of the children.  Each is solely
>responsible for all medical, dental, other medical type bills,
>including insurance; for the child(ren) in their physical
>custody.
>
>Pbfh kicked osd out today.  Osd refuses to come live with us
>(won't follow the rules and how do you MAKE an almost 18 yo
>live with you and/or follow the rules?).  Osd is going to live
>with her maternal aunt till she turns 18.  We're ok with that,
>EXCEPT....
>
>Pbfh receives cash assistance, food stamps and medical
>assistance for osd.  Obviously if osd doesn't live there, the
>eligibility ends.  Dh does not pay cs to repay this due to the
>stipulated court order.
>
>Aunt asked pbfh for some cash to help out with osd's
>necessities, and laundry.  Pbfh flipped out on aunt stating
>that she didn't even have her own laundry done she couldn't
>afford to give aunt money to take care of osd's stuff.  So
>aunt said that SHE had to apply with the county to help with
>osd's expenses -- which means that dh will be hit with cs
>probably -- but not for several months, probably well after
>osd turns 18.  Which we cannot afford.  I told aunt to NOT
>apply, we will purchase osd's necessities and she can come
>here to do laundry.  
>
>Anyway, I think that I've convinced the aunt to NOT apply for
>benefits so that bullet is dodged.  HOWEVER, if osd does NOT
>live with pbfh, then, even though she has custody on paper,
>she does not REALLY have custody, right?  And, aunt will more
>than likely sign a statement saying that osd lives with her
>for us if necessary.


Wrong. Until a court decrees that biomom doesnt have custody,, she still does. Regardless what document the aunt signs, the mother still has legal custody.
>
>Couldn't we then file for a cs modification since dh has
>custody of the younger two and the oldest -- who pbfh
>[em]technically[/em] has custody -- pbfh doesn't actually
>support?


Technically, from the sound of the decree, your DH COULD file for  cs, but is it worth the hassle you will more than likely get? Not to mention the obvious custody fight that will ensue.
>
>Honestly, this bitch deserves to be drawn and quartered, but
>they don't let us do that, so can we go after money?

[lucky]

[em]Technically, from the sound of the decree, your DH COULD file for cs, but is it worth the hassle you will more than likely get? Not to mention the obvious custody fight that will ensue.[/em]


We're filing for cs on osd's 18th birthday anyway since she's moving in with her boyfriend on that date.  We decided that back when dh filed the stipulation.

As for a custody fight, she doesn't have a snowball's chance to get the other two.  She told them this past week that she DIDN'T want them there because she wanted peace and quiet.  Then she went to the bar and picked up a guy.

We can wait, but I still think pbfh should pay.

[Indigo Mom]

Lucky,

All I can say is you best report her for welfare fraud NOW.  If the "child" isn't living with her, but she's claiming the child is...your husband WILL be responsible for the debt created by the CP.  (it will be called "child support arrears")

If you need me to go into details, my email addy is

[email protected]

I found out some bullshit news on Friday that is close to what you're posting about now.  Make social services remove the childs portion from the mothers "benefits".  

[lucky]

Already done.  If, for some reason, osd does NOT move out, pbfh is going to have to PROVE that osd is still living there -- and NO, dh doesn't have to pay cs for osd if she's on welfare.  As I said, due to the court order, they can't go after him as long as he has custody of at least one of the other kids.  I checked that out as soon as I found out pbfh had filed for benefits.