Someone Please Help

[RobbieSr]

[email protected] wrote:

 > I will start from the beginning since this will be long.
 >
 >  I was divorced on 2/24/92, in Vermont. I was awarded visitation
every other weekend. And ordered to pay child support in the amount of
$50.00 a month for both my children. I had asked the court to have it
taken from my paycheck. It was granted, but took several months to
initiate. When it started, my X's (soon to be husband) came to my home
while I was gone and stated that he wanted to shove the $11.82 check
down my throat. My girlfriend at that time called me immediately. When
he found out I was across the street, he ran. I have no records from my
employment history from that time. Shortly afterwards, my X was never
home when I went to pick up my children for my visitation.
 >
 > We went back to court and she was told that if she did not comply,
she would be charged with contempt of court. Well apparently, it did not
scare her. The judge also stated that if she did it again, I was to call
an officer to the house and get a report, so she could be charged. Well
the only officers that patrolled her area were the state police, who
told me they do not respond to these types of problems. They can only
respond to "crime" related calls or accidents. Not being able to afford
court costs, I could not keep bringing her to court. All together she
moved 3 times that I know of. Never giving a forwarding address or phone
number. Every time I got the number, it was disconnected shortly after.
 >
 > Eventually, I gave up hope. I moved out of state, because my
emotional state from being denied my children had me so upset that I was
ready to go hunting. I had to walk away.
 >
 > It?s now ten years later and I have found a great better half who has
gone to great lengths to find my children as a father's day gift.
 >
 > It's come to our attention that I did not pay child support for 1991
through 1997. But every job I had always took child support from me. How
can I find out the exact dates that the money was received from my jobs?
According to my work history with social security, I know that I was
paying into the system in 1993. How do I find out if OCS ever got that
money? What options do I have to pursue my employer if he didn?t pay
that money into it? He had a lot of financial problems at that time. I
could never take my check to the bank to cash it because it would
bounce. We always had to open the envelope and then go back inside to
give it back to his secretary to have her cash it. I always thought he
paid it to the state because it was on my check stub along with all the
usual taxes being withheld. Please help! I have no idea if he is still
in business, nor how to go about contacting the company for verification.
 >
 > Also, when she found my children, we discovered that my son was in
custody of the Vermont state children services. Currently I am in
contact with him because my X can't stop it. But she has tried in every
way possible. She has even gone as far as making false accusations
against me to children services, alleging that I physically abused her
during our marriage. I've been in several relationships since. Most of
the relationships had children that I subsequently was raising. Would it
help to have those women write an affidavit stating what type of person
I am? I have never been an abusive person. What can I do? It infuriates
me to be falsely accused.
 >
 > I now live in Ohio and they still live in Vermont. I have been
seriously considering giving up my home, to move back to Vermont, to be
closer to my children and try to re-establish my paternal rights. I have
made good friends with my landlord and am in a position to buy the house
that I am currently living in. So I am hesitant to uproot if it is not
necessary. My daughter still lives in Vermont with her mother and
refuses to speak to me. Because she is afraid to give up her family if
she gets close to me.
 >
 > Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for
your time and concern in this matter.

[Peanutsdad]

A 10 year absense is inexcusable.

With that said, you are going to have to fight harder now to be a part of their lives than you had to fight before you vanished on them.


I strongly urge you to seek therapy WITH the children being slowly introduced to it in order to try to become a father again. Because, while you may have been a stepdad to other children, you abandoned  your own.


The child support issues, if you cannot prove the money was deducted from your pay for the years in question, you will have an almost impossible time keeping them from going after arrearages.

Here are some links to get you started.


Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/acronyms.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/challenge.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/cs_ans5.htm

 Stopping Unjust Welfare Recovery
    Before attempting to recover money paid to your ex through Welfare, most States must send you notification that your ex has applied for or is receiving Welfare, and they must be able to PROVE that they have attempted to notify you (with a receipt for Certified Mail delivery, for example).
    URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/welfare.htm


 Interference With Parental Rights Of Noncustodial Parent As Grounds For Modification Of Child Custody
    This article discusses a different type of liability which may result from interference with the noncustodial parent's rights: loss of custody.
    URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-borris.htm