I know this has been here before, but...

[Rakkasan]

... sometimes women just need reminding.

We Always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are
our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1"!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving
it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials (except during the Superbowl when commercials are part of the show).

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve
is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men
really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[Kitty C.]

..but given what I'm going thru right now, I'm going to print that off (yes, I have seen it before, LOL!) and hand it someplace in my home where I can see it every day.  There is more truth to a majority of that statement than many women realize.

And just for the record, I've NEVER had a problem with the toilet seat.....

[Indigo Mom]

-----And just for the record, I've NEVER had a problem with the toilet seat.....-----

I, for one, DO have a problem with the toilet seat being left up.  Back in the day...(actually, many moons ago), I got totally schnockered on tequila.  To top off the insanity, we were also doing shots of avalanche, and, of course, chasing our shots with Bud Ice. Nice combo...quite lethal.  (IMO...suicide alert big time for those who do what I've done)

Anyway, we were all beyond faded, many puked their guts out...and silly ol me woke up from my alcohol induced semi coma to use the potty.  I later realized how big a mistake my bladder made this night.

Ya ever fall into a toilet?  How about one filled with the vomit of many people?  Ain't pretty!  Not not NOT nice at all!

The toilet seat WILL be down at ALL times in my house, or death becomes he who leaves it up!

My poor son....he's suffered the wrath of mommy many times when he dared leave it up!  Now, the poor kid sits to tinkle.  LOL

Yes, kitty, I can definitely say I was traumatized that night...PTSD could be diagnosed!!!!

[Peanutsdad]

Many MANY MANY years ago,, when the world was young, and so was I,,my mother got up in the middle of the night to use the potty.

Now in our home, there was myself, 3 other brother and my father. My baby sister and my mother had us fellas WAY outnumbered.

Anyhoo, it was late, all were asleep, and mother,, bless her heart, didnt want to turn on lights and just made her way to the bathroom in the dark.

We awoke to my mothers strident screaming, cussing like I had NEVER heard come from her. She bellowed for ALL us boys to get up and in the living room front and center RIGHT NOW.

Of course, we were standing at attention by the time she had finished yelling for us.

She calmly said that someone had left the seat up,, now at first,, we were like,, ok, and??? THEN she informed us that she had fallen into the commode,, and discovered that not only was the seat up, it hadnt been flushed.

My youngest brother made the mistake of snickering.  


As my loving mother went for the youngest, like a ravening wolf, the rest of us scattered like a covey of startled quaill.




Years later,, at deer camp,,, my father admitted it was he that had left that seat up that night. Everyone of us fellas roared with laughter,,,, except my youngest brother.