Custoday Vs Shared Care

[michaelf]

im from New Zealand. my ex wife and i seperated 12 months ago and reached an agreement on access etc which has been working Ok

i received notification that she now wishes to have a consent memo or court order that stipulates that she has custody and not shared care. all other conditions of access are to remain the same.

can anyone advise me what is the main difference between custody and shared care under NZ law, as the way i see it at the moment it does not really effect my access etc to the children (age 51/2) and that i still have guardain rights that means she must inform me on matters of health and education etc.

[joni]

...but she won't.  Don't know about NZ but in the US, this is a common tactic for the mother to gain sole custody and sole control over the child....effectively eliminating the father's rights.  Sure she says she'll inform you, but she won't.  You can only share in the consent when you have joint custody.

I would be suspicious.  Why does she suggest this after a year of having it as shared and that arrangement is working?  Is she being well advised by an attorney.

Trust no one but yourself.  Why would you want to give up the ground that you have and settle for less?  I think it's a huge mistake.  You may think it'll make the divorce more amicable...but it won't.  It just gets worse, you'll see.

Hang on to what you have with both hands...and all ten fingers.