Ex-wife moving

[JerseyDad]

My ex-wife has moved our  5 yr. old son 4 times in the past 2 years.
She has physical custody and I now get visitation every weekend
from Friday night till Sunday Night. She just told me that she is
moving again to live with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has 3 kids
that will be there part-time - from what I can tell. The move will
be within the same town that she currently lives  in - about one hour
from me. My son will continue to attend the same kindergarden.
My ex is very unstable, with a long history of substance problems,
health problems, and psych. problems. I am concerned about all
the moves and the new living environment for my son. Is there anything
I can do other than hiring another lawyer. It's been less  than a year since we had a very long and expensive divorce trial.

[wendl]

well you can file pro se and object to the move, you can file a motion for custody and a physc eval done and a GAL to be appointed, but its all a crap shoot in family law.

I suggest documenting EVERYTHING and do the best you can for your child.

my husbands ex wife moved a lot too in crappy crappy areas, she finally realised the neighborhood she was living in was dangerous, but it took my husband seeking custody for her to open her eyes, and yes she still has the kids.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[bigdiol]

I agree- DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!!!

my husband has just won full custody - and the main reason we were able to prove our case is that we documented EVERY move, every incident - including police interactions, school issues, etc.. and recorded the names, addresses and phone/email of all parties involved.

You will be perceived as you are telling the truth more if you are able to provide correct information - and someone like a custody psychological evaluator, or a GAL can check your story with these references. Basically - court is usually a "he said-she said". Its the party with the most credible actions and proof that win the case.

If you are serious about gaining custody,be prepared to spend thousands. Most other times its a waste of money and time if you dont have a good attorney. Unfortunatly, Bad attorneys are just as expensive in their own way, so you might as well bite the bullet and get the job done right. Anyway you slice it - it stinks.

Our lawyer was recommended by our therapist because he dealt in high conflict personality cases- and also specializes in Borderline Personality Disorder. Even if your ex doesn't have a personality disorder, an attorney that KNOWS how these people operate helps tremendously.

In the meantime, act like everything is being recorded on your end by your EX. You need to be above and beyond reproach- and PROVE you are the more stable parent. Do all of your transactions by email- if possible so you can keep an accurate record. ( saved us during the psych eval - because BM was screaming we wouldn't respond to her demands - and we had the emails to prove the harassment/refusals to cooperate we had to deal with).

Start a journal. Write in dates, times, new addresses of your EX, new boyfriends, new employers. After 4 years of this crap, I was amazed how much I had forgotten when we were aksed the exact dates of events. i re-read my journal - and was able to provide a timeline and all of the names, phone numbers, and  and addresses of the above mentioned to the professionals in our case. Consider every scrap of paper/message you get from your EX as a Christmas present.

We were able to use recorded phone conversations to prove the emotional abuse and PAS - but its a touchy subject with many courts and may be illegal in your area.

Lastly - be flexible and put the child first, even if she dosent. It pays off and its what the courts look for most.

good luck.

TF

[Peanutsdad]

Question is,, how many times has she moved since the final decree? Was substance abuse brought up in the original trial? The psych issues? Was it all presented in a documented way, ie police reports, hospital records ect ect?


If three of the moves were during the case, obviously, the judge wasnt impressed then about it,, and you'll be in that court again.

If this is the case, you are going to need to fully document everything.


You may want to keep a low profile for a while and simply document, and frankly, theres not a lot you CAN do other than that currently,,, unless there is a immediate danger to your son.

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm


For Move aways: ( Thanx Brent!!)
              

Immediately file a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). In the TRO, specify that the children are to be prevented from leaving the State.

Also, read these:

Preventing Domestic Move-Aways
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moving.htm

Preparing For A Move-Away Battle
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moveaway.htm

One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/acronyms.htm

 

[JerseyDad]

Thanks for your reply. It's funny you mentioned Borderline Personality
Disorder, because that's what she was classified as having by a marriage counselor we went to for several sessions.

My lawyer(s) tried to get her medical records to be introduced as evidence but the judge would no allow it. This judge was pissed off at me because I forced the first judge to recuse himself. I found that all the lawyers and judges are only interested in covering their behinds
and squeezing litigants for every penny they can. A childs well-being is very low on their list of priorities.

Thanks again,

Joe