mother dead father custody

[SunshineNmyEyes]

Ok, I'm not quite sure how long this will be but please bare with me, I am in desperate need of help.


MY boyfriend has a child with another woman,Natalie(21). Well Natalie had alot of problems, She was bipolar, a violent alcoholic, and smoked crack. Her and my boyfriend had always fought over the baby because she didnt want anything to do with him, but she didnt want my b/f, Vincent(27) to have anything to do with him either. So back in March She signed her son over to her mother, but it was never noterized and I;m not quite sure how legal that was because Vincent never gave his permission.

Well in April Natalie died, She was drunk and high and was in a nasty car wreck which killed her an hour later. Since then the baby has been living with her mother. And now in the middle of Sept.  We have just learned that his mother and natalies mother has been plotting to get the baby turned over to Natalies mother.

I told my b/f that it didnt look good that she had the baby this whole time, I mean come on, the courts are going to wonder what hes been doing since April. He lives wit his aunt.

So my question is. We are planning on getting a place together and he is going to get the baby before she can take him to court.  and I was wondering How good of a chance he has of getting his baby and we were thinking about marriage because it would look better to the courts instead of having a single dad and his g/f living together, it would be a married couple..

And if that would work  once he got custody, since he is the only living parent if he could also share custody( i diont know what else to call it) with me. and if thats true would I be able to get govt. assistance?

I know this is really scattered brained and poorly written but I would appreciate any help anyone could give me?

Thank you.
FYI I am 19  

[Peanutsdad]

First of all, why didnt he go get his child when he first learned of this??

By leaving the child with grandma, he's let grandma establish a "status quo". If he doesnt stand up and become a parent, he'll find himself remaining a visitor, and paying grandma child support.


Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[wendl]

Just because mom died doesn't mean dad would get the child automatically. He needs to get a court order getting custody of that child, the longer the granma has her the harder it will be for him to get that child.

Good luck, these cases are very sticky sometimes.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[tigger]

there are other things to take into consideration.  

Is the grandmother a bad guardian?  How much visitation has he exercised in the past 5 months?  How much before then?  Why does he want the child?  (And before I get flamed, I would ask the same of a mother who was seeking custody of a child that had been living with someone else.)  Why has the father been living with the aunt?

Now specifically for you, DO NOT marry this guy just because it would help him in a custody case.  Think long and hard about it first.  Your decision should be based on what you want out of life and in a husband.

[Lawmoe]

Since grandma has had the child for a considerable amount of time, she most likely has gained standing under your State statutes to seek custody. Some states have specific timelines during which the child must live with a non-parent before custody is possible.  If she has not reached that time threshhold, it could explain why she has not filed already.  In such a situation, time is of teh essence and you should consult with a lawyer in yoru State.

If the matter becomes a Court battle, a critical question becomes how much time dad has spent with eth children. If he is an absentee father, he certainly does not aid his chances.  

Under most normal circumstances, he has the advantage by being the biological parent.  That can be rebutted if he has not provided care. It is also vexing that his own mother supports the other grandmother's petition.  I have a feeling we have a partial story.