Relocating from NC to NJ

[At a loss]

I have sole custody of my 3 year old son. His father visits with him every other weekend if it's convenient for him.  I know I need his permission to move out of state. Can I do this without the expense of a lawyer? We're not proposing any actual visitation schedule since he can't even adhere to the one we have now. It would be just an "open agreement". Didn't know if I could go through the courts myself.

Thanks!

[Kitty C.]

If you leave it 'open ended', it's going to come back and bite you BIG time.  You need to come up with some kind of agreement and parenting plan that specifically defines custody and vistation, whether or not he follows it.

If he's not adhereing to the agreement you have now, why not come up with a plan that is more flexible to him?  Regardless of how much time he spends with his son, it doesn't change the fact that he IS his father and his son needs him.  He has a right to be involved in his son's life and I bet you will find that as your son gets older, they BOTH will be wanting to spend more and more time together.  He's VERY young right now, but I have yet to see a boy who didn't gravitate to his father, especially by school age.

As for going to court, you will have to to get it legalized.  But it must be done jointly, your ex MUST agree to it, also.  And if he doesn't, then you will have to go thru the mediation/court process to work things out.

But whatever you do, do NOT just arbitrarily up and leave.  Right now, NC has jurisdiction, since your son has been a resident of that state for longer than 6 months and NC has the current order.  If you were to leave without finalizing anything, your ex can haul you back to NC to face him in court there.  

[At a loss]

Thank you so much for your advice! It was very helpful. Will definitely talk to my lawyer now. I would never have left here without some kind of legal documentation. You put me on the right track and I appreciate that! And yes, I believe my son's father should be a part of his life regardless of our situation. Actually, I've been the one pushing for him to see our son. If he forfeits his visitation, which he's done numerous times, I just wait until the next time. I believe that will be something Dad will have to come to terms with eventually.

Thanks again for your help!

[jilly]

Why on earth would you want to move from God's country to such a hellish place??!!!

[At a loss]

Have you ever been there? You must be a redneck and stuck in redneck living. My son won't be.

And if you believe that NC is God's country, you obviously been stuck in the woods too long; come off the deer stand :)

[jilly]

No...I've never been to NJ because it's a dirty smelly place.
I'm not a redneck, I don't live in the woods and I've never hunted. Too bad you're son won't be raised in a place where there's a more relaxed pace and a more genteel way of life.
You must be a dayum Yankee! LOL  Only you've decided to go back home! LOL

[Kitty C.]

Funny, I got surprised responses when I told my friends of 10 years in CA that I was moving back to Iowa......but NOTHING that prejudicial.......

[jilly]

I was pretty surprised by the response too.  I was just trying to be funny..didn't realize she wsa going to take it so hard!