Family network

[T0052SC]

I need some advise.  One thing that I have been faced with is the decision to move back to the state where the devorce is going through.  Just before the temp custody hearing I moved closer to my office which is located in a neighboring state (the judge still awarded 50/50 custody with my move).  I did this to limit travel on the kids, because my place is close, school is close, and the activities are close.    The only thing that is a drive is extended family and the BM.  The drive is about 70 miles may be less to BM.  Now that we are preparing for the final hearing my attorney is asking if I am moving back up.  I don't know what to do.

If I move back up that will increases my travel time and time away from the kids.  The arguement seems to be that if I live close to my office that puts to much distance between the kids and the extended family or family suport network.  Is this something the court puts a lot of ephisis on when deciding whats in the best interest of the kids is how far they are from grand parents.

I would like to stay where I am.  I have worked hard to build a stable life for the kids and a suport system for myself and the kids.  I don't want to have to move again and start all over building what we have now.  Any input I would apreciate for this is a hard decision that I have to make.  

[joni]

My SD flies from Upperstate NY to Chicago two weekends a month, so that represents about 3 hours of commuting time one way and the judge signed off on that.  I don't think 1 hour is a bad drive one way.  In Chicago, it can take you 1 hour to go 25 miles!

As we all know here, the temporary order is so imperative, often the final order doesn't deviate from it.  If the judge granted you 50/50 with you living in a neighboring state, why do you think the judge would take that away from you?  As long as you show that you're accessible to your children and can fully cooperate regardless of the distance, why would this change?  Your integrity must have been strong and impressed the judge to give you 50/50 at the temp hearing.

[T0052SC]

You said that the final order doesn't deviate from the temp.  I am fighting for the primary custody how far fetched is that?  

The GAL recomends the same 50/50 but wants me to move back.  The GAL made this detirmination without looking at any of the evidence that I supplied only stating that I aligations of neglect and abuse that need to be taken seriously followed by the GAL stating he didn't have time to look over the evidence.  I think since the GAL recommended this is why my attorney has asked this.  My kids are just starting school and I know with the current order that this would conflict with school.

I have documented how I am accessible to the kids, I have tried to be cooperative with the STBX, but she will not work together.  The STBX is in the mind set that even though we share custody that she is the CP and that I am not to be part of any of the decisions with the kids.  Some of my posting reflect this frustration.

[wendl]

Well during my dh's trial they brought up that fact that dh lives 70 miles from bm and that it wouldn't be good for the kids to have to get up soooo early and drive for an hour to go to school.

So if your attorney and the GAL think you should move back, I would probably be doing that in order to retain at least 50/50 custody of the kids.

JMO

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[T0052SC]

I was also wondering how the court would feel if I haven't moved back but would be willing if needed.  If I don't move now but wait till court and assure the judge that I would move back up if requested would this have an effect on the case or would the judge think I am blowing smoke.

Another problem I have run into is that the STBX has destroid my credit so I am worried that even if I need to move back that I wouldn't be able to get aproved for a lease.  Will this have an effect in the judges decision and if so how?