New with urgent question

[MazdaMom]

I am the NCP of 2 adopted children and have been divorced for about a year. His attorney handled the entire matter including custody and I am slowly finding out how naive I was to let that happen.

Regardless, I graduated from nursing school a few months back, started working and recently went to open a checking account. One bank refused and another told me I could only have an ATM card, no Visa debit card due to my having been "reported" for account abuse. I knew right away I was about to find out about another of my ex's folly's and contacted the bank where we had shared a checking account. What I found was shocking and after some thought, I realized things simply are not what they seem.

The bank where we had shared an account told me that the account was closed with a negative balance of over $800. One more naivity on my part for not ensuring my name had been taken off the account, but I obtained the previous 3 months worth of statements and copies of all the checks that had been written during that time, and what I found is the reason for my concern.

The statements I got were for August (covering the month of July), September and October of this year. In July, he wracked up $450. in NSF fees, and in August $337.50. His ATM usage was atrocious, with multiple withdrawals daily, and almost daily NSF fees. He continued to deposit funds in various forms, but his average daily balances for all 3 months were negative.

Frankly, it looks like he is doing something illegal and I suspect he has gotten into drugs of some sort. He recently made a nasty comment about having me and my fiance drug tested out of the clear blue. I believe this is related.

So my questions are thus:

Does activity of this kind warrant some kind of emergency order where I can remove the kids from the home? I would love to have them back, and out of my own naivity at the time, thought it would be a cakewalk once I graduated from nursing school.

Since the divorce was granted across the state and I am living in the Tulsa area, and assuming the answer to the above is yes, can I file that here locally, or do I have to go back to the county where the divorce and custody were handled?

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I fear the kids are in a much worse situation that I ever imagined.

MazdaMom

[purrrfectgirl]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think his attrocious financial practices are going to get you anything as far as taking away custody.  You are the mother tho, so that will help somewhat.  I'm not sure of the laws in Texas.  But where I'm at as long as the kids have a roof over their head, food in their mothes, and clothes on their backs it very difficult to get custody changed.  It also depends on the age of the children, you might have an easier time if the children are younger, but if they are school age the judge will be reluctant to pull the kids out of school and away from their friends.  Also, I think you would need to file where the original custody case was settled, but check you order.  If it states in the order, as it does in my husband's that jurisdiction remains with the current court, then you'll need to go back there to file.  Best of luck to you.  Hope someone else has some better advice for you.

[Kitty C.]

.......hide nothing.

I'd be jumping at the chance to do a drug test............BUT ONLY if he is ordered to, also.  I see this ALL the time, people will accuse others of wrongdoing, when it's actually THEM who are doing wrong in the first place.  It's a deflective mechanism, so that the spotlight isn't focused on them and the BS they are involved in.

That's where I'd start.....as the bank accounts alone aren't probably enough to warrant any change in custody.

[smtotwo]

When the ex said that DH was an alcoholic we offered this...

If ex claimed that DH couldn't take the kids because she believed he had been drinking, we'd call the county sherriff and take a breathalyzer.

If it showed DH had been drinking he'd be responsible for the cost, but she had to agree to the same, random breathalyzer when she came to pick up the kids.

She decided that this wasn't neccessary after all.  Of course if it showed DH hadn't been drinking the cost would be hers.

We also offered random drug testing with an open ended order at our clinic if she'd do the same at hers, with either party able to request random testing.  She refused this also.

But her husband WAS the one who was arrested for possesion of pot and paraphenalia.

So, I'd go with the drug tests,  WE"D JUMP ON THIS IN A HEARTBEAT!!
But, then they'd never do it!!

[msme]

Don't know what you can do about your custody situation but as for your banking problem, go to a small bank or credit union, not a national chain. Take the statements with you. Take your decree with you & perhaps your lease that shows how long you have been in your new residence.

Explain what happened & show the proof that you were not responsible for what happened. They may give you a chance to try again.

Good luck & God bless

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!