And the trial goes on & on & on & on &......

[onedaddy]

4th day of custody trial wrapped yesterday. More surprises, BM changed her lawyer, as her side is about to close.  Judge told our lawyer to file for attorney fees for last week when BM had the day adjourned because ss had a severe rash and only she would be able to take him to a "specialist".  When we showed up at the dermatologist SF was there only he ran and called BM who showed up late and ss had a couple of hives. The dr. saw him for no more than 3 minutes and said it was no big deal.

BM said SF doesn't drive and didn't have a work van but she supplied pictures of her new home with a white van in the driveway and we provided copies of the registration of a white van registered to SF.  When asked about the $5,000 loan she took out under DH's name and ss# after the divorce she said it never happened even though a different court ordered she repay said loan, she was found in contempt and we have copies of all the bank statements with her name and address on them.  She said her lawyer told her not to pay for the bills specifically outlined under the divorce decree even though she was found in contempt.  She stated she had to put the kids on SF's insurance not so DH doesn't have access to their dr. but because we didn't send her a book even though we sent 2 and gave a 3rd to the GAL who handed it to her in the courtroom.  She said she woke up one morning in late august decided the kids needed a bigger house found a new bigger house and sold theirs (that they bought a year prior) and went into contract in exactly one week which is why she did not have time to consult DH or tell the evaluator.  When asked where the contract on this home she closed on in October that the judge ordered she supply was she stated she could not find it. She signed the new vacation schedule in November but did not read it so that is why she planned her vacation on DH time.  She wants us to agree to give up DH's time but refused to agree to give up any of her time in return. She didn't ask DH's permission to take the kids out of state because she did not know she had to even though the decree states specifically that, she signed it, she just didn't read it.  She could not remember whatever was convienentt and remembered the most minute drivel that allegedly happened 6+ years ago.  She was ordered by the judge to bring in copies of the dr's report and emergency room records for ss but she said she didn't have time to get them because she has a 7-month old at home. She said ss never missed 18 weeks of speech therapy and sd never missed 25 full days of school and 20 half days even though we provided proof from the therapist and schools    

I could go on and on there was a whole day of this bs and we have much, much more for her next Monday, i.e. tape recording, phone records, prison records, etc. She stuck with her lies even when we showed her proof and never gave a straight answer. The judge was getting annoyed, kept telling our lawyer to move on because she got our point (hopefully) that BM cannot follow ANY court order and will say anything to get her way.  

This trial is going on and on and on. Her side is not even finished yet after 4 days and then we have to put on our case.  I'm afraid DH is going to lose his job, his boss has been more than patient up

[Stepmom0418]

You are in my thoughts and prayers while you are going through this!

Your trial and the trial my DH and I are getting ready to go through sound a lot alike. Especially when it comes to all the lies. BM in our case is the kind that can tell you one thing and then in the same sentence she changes her story several times so I imagine our case is going to be long and drug out and full of BM's lies as well as solid evidence to counter her lies.

Our trial starts Feb 9th and is supposed to be 2 full days (9am-4:30pm) of trial. DH is the petitioner so we get to present our case first. It is going to be tough for me because from the sounds of everything I will have to set outside the courtroom until I am called as a witness, then I get to walk in and not have any idea on whats been going on and how things have been going up intil that point. This is a scary thought for me. LOL!

There are also 13 (or maybe 12 I am not sure) counts of contempt for willful visitation denial on BM since April of 04. We are filing a motion to compel today because we STILL have not recieved the answers to our Interogs yet. They were supposed to have them turned over to us on the 18th of January plus a ton of documents we requested as well. Still we have nothing we asked for.

We are just trying to cover our butts and gather the info that we asked for so that if we dont get it from them then we still have it to use in trial as well.

Another good thing that has happened is that yesterday was the last day that either party could file their wittness and exhibit lists to the court. Well as of 4pm yesterday BM's attorney has not filed theirs. DH attorney says that means that they can not enter anything into evidence and the only wittness they can call is BM. So assuming that DH attorney has covered everything in the law about this ...........BM's attorney just made our case that much easier.

Sorry this ended up so long........we are thinking of you and praying for you too!

[onedaddy]

Good luck to you!
BM also consistently contradicts herself, often in the same sentence; a sign of anti-social behavior disorder.  She was diagnosed by the forensics evaluator as being severly sociopathic, BPD and anti-social personality disorder.  This report/testimony will help us alot.

We are always supposed to have full days and we never begin before 11:00 and there has often been breaks in between aside from lunch.  That is part of the reason it is being drug out.  I am not allowed inside the courtroom but am told what is going on throughout the breaks.  I gave DH a notepad and pen and tell him to take notes so he doesn't forget to tell me anything.  Also our lawyer is putting me on the stand first so DH can hear my testimony and I remember all the specifics of everything.

I am mostly afraid now that she changed lawyers, she had the old lawyer for most of this past year and I was somewhat familar with his cross tactics.  This new lawyer seems less slimy which probably means he's better versed and cross examination.  He's also alot more expensive and been around longer.  I'm also afraid for DH that he will get him to lose his cool.  We are so far ahead of the game and the only thing that can sway the judge at this point is DH's character.  There are a few touchy subjects and where not familar with this lawyer.  My fingers are crossed.

I don't know if you have been following my posts with the last 23 dtaes of the trial but I'll be haooy to fill you in on the circus if that will help.  We are scheduled to go again on Monday 2/7 so I'll try and post early the next day if that helps.  We're hoping we can finish her and start with me.

[Stepmom0418]

DH attorney is going to start with DH's testimony and then all of the other wittnesses that we are calling, and then I am going to testify last. Also like you because I can remember all of the specifics. (DH attorney has sent out supenea's to BM's mother as well as her BF) We have also sent a supenea to SS's school teacher due to all of the days he has missed of school and how it has affected him.

I hope that we get some breaks so that DH and his attorney can fill me in on what is going on and how the judge is reacting ........just so i know before i have to testify. I am going to give DH a pen and a notebook to write things down as well. Thats a good idea and with as much stressing as I have been doing lately i hadnt thought of that.

If you want to fill me in feel free too ..........DH and I can use any advise that anyone can give us at this point. You can email me or PM me if you want to.

DH's case seems to be very strong and we too are concerned about the opposing attorney and his tacticts to make DH loose his cool, mainly because throughout this whole thing BM and her attorney have made DH out to be a violent person. (NOT TRUE although I believe that under enough pressure anyone can loose their temper and not maintain their self as well) Hopefully DH can show his emotions but yet hold it together all at the same time.

[onedaddy]

It sounds like the same BM.  She has told the court that DH was physically, verbally and mentally abusive.  She had him falsely arrested 2x which we are suing her in another court for $$.  Fortunately for us BM is STUPID.  After she filed a petition stating the above she sent us a letter 2 weeks later and then a certification 1 month later to another court stating the exact opposite.  She stated in court yesterday that she is in fear of her life because of DH and wrote the opposites to "be nice".
By the way SF is a violent convict with 20 arrests for domestic violence, assaults, arson and patronizing a prostitute.  He spent 2 1/2 years in prison fro beating up his ex-girlfriend while she was pregnant with 1 of his 2 children that he has no rights to; another + for us. DH on the other hand has NEVER been arrested in his life aside from the 2x BM had him during a custody trial.

Anyway, DH kinda lost his cool yesterday.  It is just so hard to listen to all these lies about himself and with a smile on her face.  And then her father was cursing at him in the hallway. Her husband threatened him 2x in court among other times.  Sure it doesn't look good for them but it's hard to stay quiet after a while. He's tired of taking their crap lieing down.  But he must keep his cool.

Remember the only one who matters, the only one who you and your DH need to impress is the Judge.  When answering your questions try looking at the lawyer and the judge, maybe even turn your seat a little.  Try not to look at BM.

I know easier said than done, I'm pretty petrified myself. I'm even scared I'm going to lose my memory.  But it's alot easier to remember the truth than lies. All of BM's witnesses told different stories or the exact worded story.

Good luck, I will let you know how next Monday goes.    

[Stepmom0418]

Attorneys were supposed to turn in exhibit and wittness list by yesterday and BM's attorney hasnt filed anything. Ours is filed.

My biggest fear is getting on the wittness stand........I am scared that I am going to forget all the dates ........times ......and even get the dates mixed around when being asked a question. I also fear an anxiety attack although that has only happened once in my entire life........couldnt breath, felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest, couldnt talk and ect. That is the last thing that i would want to happen while trying to testify!

DH's attorney filed the motion to compel........because bm's attorney hasnt gave us the answeres to our Interrogs or the documents we asked for. Hearing on that is Monday and the trial starts wednesday.

[onedaddy]

I don't know what the law actually says but BM and her attorney entered witnesses in after the trial and never produced the documents we requested or the documents the judge requested for that matter.  They've been playing slimy and now there is a new lawyer and we weren't served with any paperwork on that.

I have the same fears, I wish I could take something but I had a baby 3 weeks ago and am breastfeeding.  You might want to talk to your doctor about some kind of anti-anxiety medication to help you through it.  Make sure it is not something that will make you loopy or slur your words.  They have some new meds that are suppoed to be good like Lexapro. Whatever you decide, you have right on your side and I have to believe the honest prevail so be confident.


I will pray for the both of us.

[wendl]

Well when we went to trial we did not have our witness list in on time (our paraleagal died suddenly.  SO since we didnt get them in on time, ex's atty tried to make is so none could appear in court. Judge thought that was silly so her atty was allowed to contact our witness by phone, the ones she didn't reach (intentionally) by phone, the judge didn't allow to testify.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**