BM plans to take kids out of state without permission..

[onedaddy]

Aarrgghh! during day 4 of our custody trial BM stated she and SF had planned a trip to Florida with kids during their winter break and into DH's weekend, this is the first we heard of it.  When reminded that she signed a holiday agreement back in November that stated that week is to be split, she stated she signed the agreement but never read it.  When told according to the original divorce she must get permission to leave the state she replied the same.

Outside the courtroom, GAL said she just wanted to see the kids go to Disney World, which I'm positive is a lie.  We agreed that we would trade Winter Break for Easter break and Passover break which are short and we would take them the following weekend.  Originally BM would not give up the weekend or any other for that matter.  She had plans, birthday parties, etc.  It was either that or nothing.  Fine.

She also agreed as per a court order in July to give us a complete and correct itinerary.

Great GAL drew up the settlement.  BM's attorney asked to redraft it.  Wouldn't you know, it is an entirely different agreement.  He took it upon himself to give us only some of the dates agreed upon by everyone and the itinerary was BS, written by the lawyer as he heard it from his client.  There was no reservations under their names on the hotels, etc.  They have no cell phone, so in case of an emergency there is no way of reaching them.

Well we are not giving them permission to leave the state.  That is it.
I am livid!

[Sherry1]

you.  BM pulled a fast one on you, but you will ultimately be the bad guy.  My suggestion is that you see if you can work around this by getting a different time.

[onedaddy]

Of course they will.  She pulls this sh*t all the time.
Problem is she knows how to take.  She refuses to give up anything.
This time we will have to be firm.  DH has lost so much time with his kids already.  Enough is enough!

[Stepmom0418]

Onedaddy,

I missed this post over the course of the past few days. I am not sure how I missed it because I look for your posts since I know you are going through a custody trial and the BM in your case sounds so much like the BM in DH's case!

I agree with you, ENOUGH is ENOUGH!! These PBFH's take and take and never give back!

This is not about her though, I guess if it was us we would ask the question .........What is more important a trip or time with dad? We both know that time with dad is the most important due to all the time your DH and mine have lost with their child(ren)!! I am with you on this one!!

Oh and it sounds like BM's attorney in your case and BM's attorney in our case are two of a kind!! We still havent heard anything from the judge but it has to come out in the best intrest of the child so .........we will continue to pray!!

Is your trial still going on? If yes then when do you have to go to court again? How long do you expect it to last? How do you feel it is going so far?

[onedaddy]

Our next court date is March 9th.  It will probably be at least another 3 days after that.  I truely believe it is a win/win situation for us.  DH should, at the very least come out with much more time with his kids.

BM's attorney has until 2PM today to get in touch with us and sign the agreement as agreed upon by ALL parties or the GAL and our attorney  will be calling the judge for an emergency conference.  We will be asking her to place an order to split the presidents week, that they were going to Florida because our holiday order states just that and she not be permitted to leave the state.

The agreement in court was BM gets kids for 6 days during winter break.  DH gets kids 3 days during Easter break and 3 days during Passover break and she has permission to take them out of state but must supply an itinerary as per a court order.

Her new lawyer wanted to make revisions no changes as he stated all parties were in agreement.  He made quite a few changes had BM sign it and tried to slip it past us.  So BM gets the 6 days and the 3 days of passover.  The itinerary was bogus and there was no emergency contact numbers. He said BM made a mistake and this is the only agreement she will sign.  Just like BM, her way or no way; says one ting, does another.

Come on, we're in the middle of a trial! This will be the 3rd time the judges chambers has been called; 1st b/c she moved the children and changed school a 6th time without even mentioning it to DH. 2nd b/c she was dening DH phone contact for 5 days in a row.  She also asked for an adjornment b/c she took ss to emergency room 3 days prior w/o every notifing DH.  The judge already said this does not look favorable for her dening DH.  We've also caught her in countless lies and exposed some pretty nasty secrets yet she emailed me last week that she will offer us nothing more than the current orders and we are crazy if we think a judge will ever take kids away from a  "loving, caring mother" especially since she has "a very strong case".

Yes she is INSANE!  Yes it is about he kids!  But it takes everything to keep up this fight especially when the kids lied to their counselor and the GAL this week that we punish them, starve them and they are afraid of us and then run over to their daddy give him hugs and kisses and then act like 2 spoiled brats  

I just want to have a life outside of all this bull

[Stepmom0418]

***I just want to have a life outside of all this bull


This statement is an understatement!! I can totally argree with you! I have been so wrapped up in the custody case this past year that when trial was finally over ..........well at least the testifying part and the courtroom..........I felt like there was a ton of bricks lifted from my shoulders! It is so hard to have a life outside of all of this and to seperate yourself from it all even for a moment of peace! Since we are now finished with the testifying and the court room things seem to be a bit better. But we still have the wonders of what the judge is going to rule and did we paint a clear picture to the judge of what has been going on?? I know it is clear to us...........but we really dont matter the judge matters and has all the power.

We proved BM was lieing..........but how much weight is that going to have?

We proved SS has not been going to school and it is a serious pattern.........but again how much weight is this going to be given.

We proved that the children that reside with DH and I go to school and rarely ever miss but................how much weight is this going to be given?

Its all a matter of the judge and how he feels.

I know that throughout the past year everything that PBFH has done put a strain on DH and I and our relationship. When things would get tough we would remind each other that this is EXACTLY what PBFH would want! (such as for us to argue about how to handle the visitation denials, and for us to sweat about what her next false accusation was going to be, or what her idiot for an attorney was going to do next) The best advice I can give is that you have to hold strong together and not allow her or the children to get to you or come between you two! Dont get me wrong it is tough but I know it can be done too! Also remember that the children are being told to lie to make BM look like she is sweet and inocent! The children will come to realize that BM is a PBFH in due time and they will regret the lies that they told as well!

I wish you luck and lots of prayers! Please keep me posted on how this all comes out! I will post as soon as we get word from the judge in our case!!

PRAYERS TO ALL!!

[onedaddy]

What does PBFH stand for?  
Did you get any feedback as towhat kind of judge you were before?
We are in front of a referee? I was told by the law guardian, the forensics evaluator,  a lawyer I met in the hallway and one other person, she is fair and all about what's best for the children, not biased against mother/father.  

I know the kids are only lieing because of BM but it still hurts.  

I will be praying for you too!  We can only hope for the best.

[Stepmom0418]

PBFH = (physico b**** from hell) Sorry I just assumed that you knew that one.

We were in front of a judge. I was told he was fair but have been doing some research on my own and have found that he does not do many child custody cases or even divorces. I am not sure if this is good or bad I guess it could sway either way. He seems to do alot of criminal cases and also alot of civil law suits. (like a morgate company suing for their money and ect.)

Hopefully both of the nightmares are over soon! And the best for the children comes out!

[onedaddy]

I'm going to have to start using that one.

Well it is almost 2 at nothing from PBFH's lawyer so I guess those poor kids are not going to Florida.  I have a feeling something happened and there was plans were cancelled which is why their doing this so instead of them getting the blame, we can.

[Stepmom0418]

I laughed and laughed when I first found out what PBFH ment! Sounds so much like the BM in our case.

I would think that you are right! They dont want to take the blame so who better to blame that DH and you! It will all work out for the best I am sure of that! Just remember this (this is my DH's favorite saying now) No matter what happens once the judge gives us the ruling SS will be better off either way! Just by having is in his life and a CO to back us up! No matter if he walks out with custody or not he says he still wins and so does SS!!

But the sad part is that if he doesnt get custody then we will more than likely be going through this again in the future because I cant see DH giving up!! and neither will I cause ss deserves better than he is getting!