Custody and Mental Illness

[Catwoman]

A dear friend of mine is embarking on a potential custody battle with his STBXW to gain custody of their 6-year-old son.

The mother is chronically mentally ill (schizophrenia), and recently the child started having trouble in school.  His therapist has also recommended the child see a child psychiatrist.  It is well documented that children of mentally ill parents have significant problems.

Has anyone gone through a custody situation where mental illness is a factor?  Would a Guardian Ad Litem and/or a Parental Evaluation be appropriate here?  

The man is a wonderful and caring father, and would allow generous and frequent contact/visitation with the mother when she was well, but would limit contact when she is ill.

Help!

Cat

[Troubledmom]

Personally I would stay far far away from a GAL...

The most effective thing I have seen for families with mental health issues is the use of a forensic psychologist to do a parenting evaluation.
A forensic psychologist has specialized training in making reports to the court, generally has had training in dynamics of families and is better adept at dealing with the complex issues that come in a family that experiences a serious mental health illness.

JMO

TM

[BlendedFamily]

"The mother is chronically mentally ill (schizophrenia)"

---Is this documented?  Is STBX on medication for this condition?  Has STBX had recent episodes?  Please take this as my opinion but unless STBX has had recent episodes that have threatened harm to the 6yo then why would this be used against her?

"recently the child started having trouble in school"

---Is the trouble in school due to the (schizophrenia)?  The trouble in school might be a temporary problem due to the fact that 6yo's parents are getting a divorce.

"His therapist has also recommended the child see a child psychiatrist."

---My DD saw a child psychiatrist for a year following our divorce.  Just to deal with the divorce...it would be good thing for the child regardless of the circumstance at 6yo to have counseling.

"The man is a wonderful and caring father, and would allow generous and frequent contact/visitation with the mother when she was well, but would limit contact when she is ill."

---Is the STBX a wonderful and caring mother?  Has she allowed generous and frequent contact/visitaion with the father during the proceedings?  

Like I stated above... this is just my opinion but understand the other side in this situation.  Now, if she was not controlled and having manic episodes then it would definitely be in the best interest of the child.  

[Catwoman]

The mother's illness is well documented.  She has had multiple hospitalizations (both voluntary and involuntary commitments), sees several psychiatrists and is on medication.  Unfortunately, her illness is not easily controlled and the onset of menopause has aggrevated the illness.  We're not talking your average upset-but-basically-normal person here.  I know a lot of people throw the words "mentally ill" and "crazy" around, so I appreciate the opportunity to clarify.

The child started school (full-day kindergarten) this year.  Parents have been separated for two years.  Some of the child's problems may be due to the pending divorce, but some of it may be attributable to her illness.  According to the child's therapist (been seeing the child for more than a year), the mother has not been cooperative and the therapist had not been advised that CPS had taken the child away from the mother previously.

The mother is a caring mother, but limited due to her illness.  Her illness and medication makes her demotivated, so often the child is not bathed or readied for school in time.  Her illness also manifests itself in hostility towards her STBXH and paranoia centered on him.  She has shown up at his apartment unannounced (with the child in tow) screaming obscenities and behaving in such a manner that the police had to be called.   She is unreliable in terms of allowing her STBXH contact with the child.  Sometimes things are relatively calm, other times she denies access.

They are currently having the child evaluated, and from that, a custody evaluation may be performed.  

I hope this answers your questions.

[BlendedFamily]

Thanks for clarifying as you understood the reasonings that I was thinking :)

"She has shown up at his apartment unannounced (with the child in tow) screaming obscenities and behaving in such a manner that the police had to be called."

--- Are there Police reports?

Document everything!  There are more individuals on this board that has more experience than I do (going through a Custody Mod myself) but what I would be questioning rather than a GAL or an Evaluator is if he can get a Temp Custody Order granted on all of the reasonings above since they are going through the divorce now???

Is there a Temporary Custody Order issued yet?

[Catwoman]

Long story regarding the divorce.

Two years ago, when she was very ill, he got a temporary custody order (did not need to file for divorce in this instance).  She immediately filed for divorce (had been seeing an attorney on the sly preparing divorce papers, which is very sad).  

She then took the child back during a visit to the pediatrician.  Sadly, my friend did not press the issue.  After two years of court dates and back-and-forth, she suddenly dropped the divorce petition.  They now must wait a specific period before refiling.  The judge was highly irritated.  

There are police reports galore documenting her behavior.  When she is unwilling to go to the hospital, the procedure recommended by NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) is to have the police come.  They will call an ambulance and transport the individual for an examination and possibly involuntary commitment.   There are several incidents documented by police reports, including a recent automobile accident where she deliberately ran a red light because she was agitated and confused.  The child was in the car.

It's really sad.  I feel so badly for everyone, but particularly the child.  He hears and sees so much negative right now.  What is best is if he petitions for custody, but she will fight it and be very ugly.  He actually developed what I think is a pretty fair parenting plan, but she will have nothing to do with it.  

He's going to have to engage in what will likely be a very intense and hurtful battle.  She has also threatened to flee with the child, which is a concern as well.  

Thanks for understanding.  The parenting plan my friend developed is quite generous--almost equal time with each parent when she is well, but much more restricted during periods of illness.  Since she, like most mentally ill individuals, does not have any perception into her illness or what she is like when she is sick, she perceives this as a threat.

[BlendedFamily]

Has your friend consulted with an attorney to see if the Temp Cust Order would still be in place?

[Catwoman]

Temp order has expired.  He really needs to pursue full custody at this point.  Certainly he could get another temp order, but that is, by nature, temporary.

It is a potentially ugly and hurtful situation.  The woman has threatened to flee with the child.

[Forthelittleones]

You need a forensic custody eval.  We will be going through one shortly. It is about $1000 per person.

Good luck!

[Catwoman]

Thanks.

I just want to see this little guy in a stable situation.  His mother loves him very much, but cannot care for him.  He doesn't get bathed or cleaned on a regular basis, let alone has any structure in terms of homework.  

Dad is willing to take full custody and let Mom have generous access when she is well; restricted access when she is sick.  She does not want this, as she does not have any perspective into how bad her illness is.

Thanks.

PS:  the school is doing an evaluation right now, which may help in waking the parties up to having a full forensic parenting evaluation.