Newbie - What now?

[g10ry2g0d]

Let me give you some background. My wife and I have been married 3.5 years. We have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. Early in our relationships I was physically abusive. It wasn't a daily occurrence, but happened a few times. It is something that I am ashamed of and went to marriage counseling and considered it resolved 2 years ago. Since then my wife has been really bitter and has not been able to forgive me. She has developed a very controlling attitude. I have tried to appease her in anyway to make the marriage work. We moved to Rhode Island 10 months ago (after I graduated) so that she could be near her family again. We lived in Georgia before then. We moved in with her family first until we could get our feet under us. A few months after we moved here, she kicked me out for irreconcilable differences. I got a place on my own. She let me have my oldest son on the weekends, and sometimes throughout the week. A couple months later she wanted to move in with me. I have been determined throughout to make this marriage work, so I was happy when she wanted to move in. She stayed here for a few months until she left to move back in with her parents Sunday. I have called to talk to my son every night and would ask her when I could have them or spend some time with them. She stated that she would only work something out with our lawyers. This morning I talked to her and she said that she put a restraining order on me, which is clearly malicious. I know my case is going to be complicated because of my past actions, because we have only been in RI for 10 months, and the anger that she is putting into this. Ideally I would want full custody of my boys, but I would settle for shared. I know my career would support that because I have normal 9-5 job where she works nights and is pursing a nursing career, so she still has some education left.

 

I am at an impasse right now. I know I need to seek legal advice and I need to be strategic in everything I do. Some other things worth mentioning are that she is very controlling. She has not let my grandma ever see the kids or even let me send pictures to her. She has let me parents see my boys once in the past year. Now I see her trying to treat me the same way. I fear for my boys as they begin to grow up. I see her starting to be very controlling with our oldest (2) forcing him to do things that aren't normally expected of a two year old. Even though she has moved out and put a restraining order on me she has been going to our apartment every day when I am not there. Is that allowed? I have been recording our conversations on and off since she kicked me out the first time. She knows that I could be, but she does not know if I am at any certain point in time.

[Lawmoe]

First of all, if the allegations of abuse are dated, you should challenge the restraining order. Many courts will not issue a estraining order if abuse is dated, has not occurred recently and is not imminent.  Moreover, oif the abuse was not committed against the children, courts often issue the restraining order only with regard to the other parent and allow visitation.

If it is too late to challenge the restraining order, your remedy is in family court in the divorce proceeding. File and seek a temporay order granting you parenting time.

You should already have a lawyer based on the facts you recite. A failure to hire one may impair your case further.

[daddyb]

having gone through something simillar i can say that unless you advise her that vioce is being recorded it will not be admissible however if you use a video recorder muted it may be admissible you can record video but not voice go figure