custody of kids

[johnny]

me and my wife havnt even devorced yet its been not even a month since she split on me and she's trying to revoke my visitation rights and she has a new boyfriend staying with her anyone have advice that could help me get custody of my two little girls in court

[CustodyIQ]

You'll need to provide more details than that.

Why do you think you're the better parent to raise these children?

[johnny]

the reason i believe i would be a better parent is whenever i wasnt at work i always took care of the children also she likes to scream and hit my kids she dosnt properly know how to handle them she has no patience also my children are constantly getting sick and having to be hospitalized since i havnt been around also she is trying to move away with them so i can never see them again also before we split she just had an abortion plus her and her family are constantly berating me in front of the kids and are trying to teach them to hate me last time i saw my oldest which is 3 she said everyone tells her im mean and they want to beat me up that she has a bad daddy god knows what else their telling her

[CustodyIQ]

Sorry for the tough place you're in.  Hearing such things from your own kid only makes it worse, I know.

If all that you say is true, and if you're a good parent with no drug, alcohol, or violence problems, then you probably have a decent shot at getting significant timeshare with the kids, if not custody of them.  In the hands of a good attorney, you may get custody.

Here are your challenges:

1.  You have no clue, at this point, what is relevant to a family court or how to approach your situation.

2.  With no disrespect intended, you don't have the best writing skills.  This means that you're not a good candidate to write your own pleadings for court.  You're going to have to hire an attorney to help you, if you're serious about getting custody.  That will be many thousands of dollars.

3.  Sometimes, writing skills reflect on a person's reading abilities too.  If it's tough for you to read, comprehend, and retain information from many many books, that suggests you won't be able to read about family law in order to know how to best argue your position in front of a judge.  Again... points to you needing an attorney.

So, that's your starting place, I think.  You need an attorney, to give yourself a shot.

In terms of what's important in your argument, of everything you wrote, these are the key points that would support custody in your favor (but no guarantee):

A) Screaming at and hitting the kids.

B) Demonizing you in front of the kids, including her family doing the same.

C) If you can get a health professional to testify that actions the mother does results in the kids being hospitalized, that would be relevant.


So, you need an attorney.  Talk to friends, co-workers, and friends of friends to find a good family law attorney.

Also, you may want to set up an appointment with a psychologist to talk with your 3 year old.  You don't need to advise the mother of this appointment.  It would be good for such a person to hear what your 3 year old has to say, and to give you advice on what to say back.

This person could later become an important witness for you, in addition to helping you help your child through what must be a very confusing time.

Good luck.

[johnny]

I already have an attorney and we are already going through a case. I have joint custody with my ex but she has physical custody and she is trying to take that away from me. All i want is to have joint physical custody of my children so i can spend six months out of the year with them and six months with their mom i am a fair man. She is also lying in court saying the usual abuse alcholism which is a lie and she has no proof also i have another case pending against her becuase she threatened me over the phone is there anything else you can tell me????

[CustodyIQ]

If she's making false accusations, ask your attorney if she/he wouldn't mind to offer in court that the parents should take polygraph exams as admissible evidence... because you're very comfortable taking one to let the court know the truth.

Regardless of whether it happens, it signals to the court that you're probably not lying.

Six months alternating for very young kids is not a plan in their best interest.

Ideally, the parents will live close together.  If that's not possible, then the court is likely to make one of you primary, with a visitation schedule for the other parent.

While waiting for court, take a parenting class in your area.  It's relatively cheap, and it'll show the court that you're devoted to your kids.  It'll also help neutralize any accusation that you don't know how to parent.

Ask your attorney about going through an evaluation process.  That's going to be a bit costly, but if you're an outstanding parent and your ex is not, that will only help you.

Don't pay much attention to the abortion or new boyfriend.  Abortion is legal.  The court isn't going to make a morality call on it.  New boyfriend is legal.  Unless he's dangerous to the kids, the court really won't care.

What does your attorney say about your case?

[johnny]

Well he said so far everything looks good i have been granted temporary visitation and it doesn't look like my old order of visitation will be revoked but she is trying so far it looks like the judge is in my favor becuase she has been really disrespectful in the court room while i have been calm and collective it shows in her attitude and the way she conducts herself that she is doing this just to spite me i just want to be able to spend more time with my children and not lose them by her moving away which she has threatened to do

[CustodyIQ]

Does your ex have an attorney?

If not, you're at an advantage.

If the judge already disagreed with the mother's perspective that you shouldn't have contact with the kids, I agree that you're on the right track.

That may not mean you get custody, but the judge is already inclined to believe that you should be involved with these kids and isn't swayed by your ex's accusations about it.

Ask your attorney about those couple of items I mentioned previously, but I think as of right now, you're doing all that you can, and there aren't any red flags that are alarming.

The waiting game is the hardest part of family court, but that may be all you can really do right now.

If you want to get a book on what your 3 year old is going through, look for "Divorce Poison."  On my website, there's a link to it on Amazon (for convenience), or you can look in your library.

It'll help you with what you should say to your child, along with what actions you can take to help her little mind from getting warped against you.

[johnny]

thank you i appreciate your help

[Lawmoe]

Review the custody  and Custody evaluation articles located at my site http://www.divorceinstitute.com