personality dissorders

[drew5111]

What do you do, or what can be done if you know that your spouse has some form of a personality dissorder that prevents her from being a saine individual when it comes to personal relations with family and friends.i swear that my wife is bi-polar or something but i can not prove it.how do you get the courts to recognize that maybe there is an issue ,and there should be some psyciatric evaluations done ?she lives two or three differnt lives but when i say that she is not of sound mind i will not be listened to by the courts cause i do not have medical proof nor what they would call an un-bias witness.it is un believable what a sam our legal system is when it comes to family courts

[MixedBag]

you focus on how it affects the kids and how she/he is abiding by the orders.

"saine" individual???

or sane individual.

focus on those two things above and the rest should fall into place.

And this will be a very long process....

[ingamx]

Every guy who cant deal with his own issues always calls his wife crazy, bipolar and etc. Courts and judges have seen this a thousand times already. You can request psychological evaluation, a professional who will determine where ever she is bipolar or not.

[pandabear]

I have to say, I'm stoked I'm not married to you!  I'm sorry, but
if you're married to someone who you think is a coo coo brain, why not deal with it?

There have been times in my past that I've been clearly straight up out of my mind, but my husband wasn't thinking about court.  He wasn't perfect when it came to my mood swings, my irritability, my irrational behavior.  He chalked it up to my issues with an ex.  (and PMS) He helped me for the most part.  Looking back, I'm thankful
I had him as my rock rather than a creep who only wants to gain from my misfortune.

I sh*t you not, if I was in a state of weirdness, and found out my husband wanted to take me to court to 'show the judge what a lunatic i was', and i WASN'T one, I'd be horrified.  Now, on the other hand, if there really was some sort of chemical imbalance in my skull, I'd probably be pushed off the deep end.  Then you'd really
be dealing with some serious issues.

When was the last time you actually broke down and had a heart to heart with her?  "hey honey, I love you, but damn, you act like you have no marbles left in that noggin of yours.  What's going on?  Is there anything I can do to make life easier or help with
anything?"  That's what a husband or wife is supposed to do.  It's called breaking the ice in a relationship which clearly doesn't have a whole lot of communication.

If there's something wrong with her, you need to help.  Don't make it worse.  It's soooo easy to toss someone off the deep end with crude remarks and actions like you want to take.

Perhaps she has had something horrific happen to her years ago?  Perhaps she's living in her own personal hell and deep down inside she's begging the man she loves and married to really see her?  

Another possibility, and i'm not saying this is what's going on.  But are you planning a divorce and want to begin getting the so called 'upper hand' with child custody? Are you, deep down in your soul deliberatly being a jerk to her so you can get the ball rolling?  Perhaps, and again i'm not saying this is what's going on, but perhaps she's responding to that?  Why else would you be asking about taking your wife to court when you aren't even divorced?

Sorry if i'm wrong about your post, but to me, it reeks of underhanded behavior to get the upper hand.

[olanna]

the courts are not doctors.  If your wife is mentally ill, she needs to see a doctor, not a judge.

If she is mentally ill, she needs care.  Who knows what will happen if she mentally ill?  No one here has a crystal ball.

Get her medical attention..after all, you promised in sickness and in health.

[gemini3]

Dealing with someone who suffers from a personality disorder can be challenging at best.  The courts typically will not get involved unless you can illustrate that it affects her ability to safely parent the children, which isn't easy.

If you're considering divorce from someone who suffers from a personality disorder, I recommend this website, and their publication called "Splitting".

http://www.bpdcentral.com/bks/spy.php

The information on the site is directed towards people with Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD) but the information in the book is helpful for anyone divorcing someone with a PD.

Remember that just because someone has a personality disorder doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad parent, or a dangerous parent.  No parent is perfect, and part of growing up is learning to deal with your less-than-perfect family.  While having a personality disordered parent will be hard to deal with for your children, unless it is in the extreme, it's better than no mom at all.  Find a way to deal with your (ex)wife without it driving you crazy, help your children learn to trust themselves and their feelings and to set appropriate boundaries.

You may also enjoy this blog www.thepsychoexwife.com, written by a man with a BPD wife who is dealing with divorce/custody/visitation.

Good luck.