Ideas??? Custodial mother is moving 2800 miles away and not taking son...

[QueenPeach]

This is not a bad thing mind you but I have many concerns.  Son (14) wants to stay with dad (step-mom and step sisters), mom and dad's family and most extended family, tribal resources and friends are here in his hometown where dad lives.  Dad has visitation every other week and they split the holidays.  Mother is moving to the other side of the United States with her boyfriend.  She has verbally notified dad that she is moving without giving any details.  She also stated that she would give over custody but just wanted to do an addendum to the existing order (done 9 years ago) so that they do not have to do parenting classes (also verbally).  She will not discuss visitation or paperwork with dad. We just found out from son that she is leaving the first of March.  When dad asks mom about it mom says she doesn't have any details and that she is working on it (BF is in the millitary and has already leaded to his new post). 

I know that we can file for a modification here in our state but can we do so with just her verbal notification?  Will that qualify as a "change in circumstances"?  Or do we have to wait for her to just ditch?  Can she file anything in her new state to change the jurisdiction to that state? What happens to dad's rights if she just leaves?  Please keep in mind that she is VERY vindictive and controlling.

Help!  Any advise would be most appreciated.

[ocean]

Is there ANY chance she will take child? If so, you should go and file for custody (you are going to need it anyway...) and the reason you put is "mother has informed me that she is moving across the country and has agreed to custody change".
She can not file in the new state UNLESS she has child AND they have been there for 6 months.
She really is running out of time? 6 weeks? You may not even get a date by then...it will be close.

[QueenPeach]

I don't think that she has any intentions of taking the child and he has no intentions of going.  I know that time is getting short, however all we have is her word.  Nothing firm to go on.  How does he file for a custody modification on just her word?  Is that enough?  This is stressful! At this time dad has no legal custody but has always paid his support and followed the parenting plan to a T, does this matter?  How do you develope a good parenting plan with that kind of distance without much communication from the parent that's leaving?

[ocean]

Yes, you can file. You need to file so you get legal custody (plus it would be nice to switch child support). Call the courts and ask where you need to go to fill out the paperwork. It is up to the mother to ask for her proposed visiting plan. Usually it is at least half the summer and split major vacations. Since she is moving, she should pay the travel costs...she may get credit for that for child support.

What is she planning on doing...dropping child off to you with all his belongings?