Frustrating Custody Situation (very very long)

[Kazoo34]

Hello all first off Id like to introduce myself. I am 35 years young and have now 2 children that this concerns (have a third with a very good motyher in Ohio). Gabriel D. turned one year old in March and Kaitlyn S. is now 5 months old. There has been an ongoing battle with my x concerning her lack of attempts to gain employment, and her lack of interest in attaining custody of her other two children ages 4 and 5. Her other two children are in the custody of her mother due to DCFS giving her the choice of giving custody to her mother or them placing them with a foster parent. A few months ago she decided to leave me for another after a very hard year and a half of dealing with me having a broken leg and multiple surgeries. I did what I felt was the right thing as she was leaving and took my children to the Sherrifs department and filed for a child order of protection. Complete reasons I will not get into here. Since that time she went to another county and thru lying that there were no pending cases in any other court has gotten the children back into her care. Tho the cases were dismissed when the other court learned of Pending cases her purpose had already been accomplished. Then we get to the hearing in the case I filed and I find out that although I had tons of verified evidence which pertained to the treatment and neglect of her other two children that my childrens attorney *did not see sufficient evidence to reccomend a child order of protection and since the children were at that time in her physical custody his reccomendation was that they remain there* Shocked I asked in closed quarters as to this decision and was told that he could not consider ANY of the things that had happened to her *other* children because they were not the focus of this case! Furthermore I was told by MY attorney that there was nothing at all he could do for the time being to get the children back into my custody (where they had been 24/7 since thier birth while she ran to the bars and other things on the weekends)! Even tho she gained this custody by LYING in another court! As per his advice I have been keeping a log of what all is occuring since that hearing ( I was granted visitation every weekend and 3 weeks out of the year in return for dropping the Child Protection Request, a decision I made because at least this way I at least get to see the children and monitor thier situation). Pasted below is currently what I have added to my Journal. I have also taken photos of the childrens condition and submitted these items as they came along only to be told to sit tight and keep gathering evidence!

Pasted Journal Entries

Journal

Wednesday June 1 2005.
   In direct Violation of an Adult Order of Protection Crystal contacted the residence of myself. In speaking with my mother she stated that she would need to drop the children off at 4 pm instead of 5pm on Friday June 3. Resons stated were that she had to be to work at Brake Parts in Cuba. In further conversation she revealed that she was making in excess of $8 per hour. Further considerations include the hours worked and thier correlation to her ability to spend quality time with the children when they are most accustomed to having the most interaction with thier Primary Care Provider since thier birth. She also stated that she could pick up the children on Sunday June 5th as she "knew" I was having transportation problems. Problems which I do not have! Also points to another lie as to the considerations of Legal Aid as her appointed attorneys and her supposed inability to pay for legal representation for herself and to share in the responsibility of providing legal fees for the Guardian Ad-Leitum appointed to represent Gabriel and Kaitlyn's interests.

Friday June 3 2005.
    Picked Gabriel and Kaitlyn up at Mc Donalds in Salem at 4:00 pm. Crystal brought absolutely nothing with them. Just a warning that they had on new clothes and to please keep them clean. Once I got them home I changed thier clothes to play clothes so Gabriel could play outside with the other children. As I was changing his clothes I noticed that he has numerous bruises and scrapes all over his legs. Also he is covered head to toe in bug bites. Borrowed a digital camera from Bill and Viola Casey who were visiting at the house and took pictures, however most did not turn out. Kaitlyn has a scratch on her face and another on her left leg. Had to take Kaitlyn to the ER in Salem at 7:00 pm because she had extreme diahrreah. She had filled 7 diapers in the 3 hours with me till then and used 2 more while in the ER. Also presumably from the diahrreah she has an extreme diaper rash. The doctor told me to get some Clotrimasole to treat the rash with 2x per day and in between those 2 changes to use A&D Ointment. For the diahreah he said to rush fluids and pedialyte, also to add rice cereal to assist in the slowing of stools and also to give applesauce. Return visit if it worsens, she has poor intake, or skin tone worsens. From the rash development Id assume she has had this problem for a while. Crystal mentioned nothing of this. Gabriel is refusing to eat anything resembling *real* food. Gabriel has also reverted to *not liking* his teeth brushed. Kaitlyns weight at the ER has caused some concern. She has only gained 3 pounds tho she is now almost 5 mos old. Will be calling Monday to get her last weigh in at WIC to insure she is not loosing weight and see how far behind the *curve* she may be. She was 9 lbs 1 oz at the ER.

Sat June 4 2005

Kaitlyn continues with the diahrreah and is also spitting up almost all she eats. If continued on Sunday will return her to the ER for further diagnosis. Took kids to the river for the day. Gabriel continues to eat very little in the way of *real* food.Lunch he was offered *hot dogs* something which we could take with us and he usually likes very well. He refused them and threw them down promptly. however he would eat Potatoe Chips and drink Sprite. Milk and juice however is another story. Supper was one of his usual favorites. Fried chicken with Potatoes, something he usually cannot get enough of, he hardly touched anything. Supplemented intake with a "cereal bar". Kaitlyn loved the water and the river. was good to get her some sun as she is extremely white. Gabriel would play in the gravel bar but was very apprehensive of the water. Kaitlyns digestive problem lessened during the evening with the rice cereal but continued overnight. Even after spending the day at the river *a mosquito heaven* Gabriel and Kaitlyn have no *new* bug bites. Gabriels interaction with myself is at its usual level however he is pushing most female contacts away. Including those he has known for some time. Kaitlyn reacts well to all contact at this time and is full of giggles and smiles for everyone. Gabriels reaction to the other children here has also lessened to everyone but  Austin who he still interacts well with. Otherwise he wants to be with me full time and will not let me out of his sight.

Sunday June 5 2005

Gabriel ate little of his breakfast of Scrambled Eggs and Toast with cereal. Took Gabriel and Kaitlyn to the river again today with friends. Gabriel hsa finally discovered that playing at the edge of the water can be great fun. A friend of the family will be traveling with me  on the trip to return the children. A long time friend of the family she has volounteered to monitor and guage Gabriel and Kaitlyns reaction to thier mother and being returned to her custody. Upon my arrival in Cuba I observed Crystal getting out of a Chevy Pickup with a 4-weeler in the back. She was accompanied by Bill Geiger (not sure of the spelling in the last name), a well documented substance abuser,  and another Unknown adult. Bill approached me and asked about Gabriel and Kaitlyn. I told him that my children were not getting into that vehicle without child safety seats. He began to argue with me. I approached Tracy one of the managers at Mc Donalds and asked him to call the police to avoid any further altercation. After a short discussion between the unknown adult, Crystal, and Bill the vehicle left the scene for about 15 minutes. The police showed up at Mc Donalds just seconds after the pickup returned. I was asked what the problem was and stated that there were not car seats in the vehicle and that I would gladly release the children if they had car seats. Crystal stated the seats were in the back if the pickup (apparently that is why the vehicle left). I turned over Gabriel and Kaitlyn to Crystal. THe police insured the seats were properly installed and would not let Crystal and Bill into the truck. The vehicle left with Crystal and Bill walking.Later investigation of the license plate on the vehicle uncovered information that it belongs to Larry W Harding of Cuba Mo. Casenet reveals that Larry harding was ordered to pay in excess of 19k in a prior case for injuring a minor child. Also revealed is that Larry Harding is currently without a drivers license due to a recent DWI.  In my 2 years of experience with Crystal and her family the only time I have ever known of Bill Geiger to be around is when he has stayed with  Charlotte (crystals mother) because he had no other plcae to stay. Gabriel and Kaitlyns reaction to thier mother was surprisingly good easing the transaction.


Friday June 10 2005

Picked Gabriel and Kaitlyn up at McDonalds in Salem. When Crystal was asked why she was dropping them off 2 days early she stated that she had plans for the weekend and that I was to return the children to her custody on June 19TH at 5PM. Crystal was again accompanied by Bill Geiger. Crystal was also driving the vehicle and does not have a license. She was also accompanied by her other two children Thomas who is 4 and Heather who is 5. Neither were in car seats. When asked how her job was going with Brake Parts in Cuba she stated all was well. I asked her if she was placed on second shift with her brother Rocky and how he was doing. She stated she was working third shift. My concerns about her working third shift (although I am pleased she is working) is that Gabriel and Kaitlyn are in the care of a third party at least 16 hours per day! Gabriel is reacting much better this visit and seems to be interacting with other children and people closer to the way he did prior to Crystal going to Crawford county and lying to get custody of the children via a temporary child protection order which was thrown out of court when the court was notified there was a pending case in Dent county. Took Gabriel and Kaitlyn with me to Robert Murrs house to get my paycheck where they played with other children and seemed to greatly enjoy thier visit. Gabriel who had been sleeping well throught the nights awoke numerous times crying and was not easy to calm back into sleep. He tossed and turned most of the night and was very restless.

End of journal entries to date!

I am also keeping Photo evidence as to the activities that the children participate in with every visit that I have. Trips to the river, parks, zoo ect are all being documented and photo evidence kept (as much for sentimental reasons as anything else).

My attorney has not yet even filed the actual custody case he told me he was going to file the wednesday after our hearing where I agreed to stipulations based on my childrens guardian ad leitum's statements. Tho I am told even a temporary custody arrangement during that case (once filed) will *Trump* the current agreement.

I also have a very thourough Parenting plan that I have come up with mostly on my own if anyone is interested in reading it and even possibly using it in thier own case, Ill send it to all email requests as an attachment. It is quite lengthy (12 pages).

I am asking on any advice how to procede and hopefully get my children back as soon as possible to where they are *accustomed* to living. With me and in secure and fimilliar surroundings. I have also been notified that she now LIVES with this Larry Harding after only a few weeks courtship! Not an example I feel is appropriate for my children to learn. Any and all suggestions or further questions are welcomed and appriciated.

[awakenlynn]

The only thing I would do to add to it is try to get a copy of the court cases involving each party. You stated Crystal doesn't have a license.  Get a copy of the DMV record and court record to show why, have pictures of her driving(make sure the pictures are accurately dated).  Same with the people she is friends with.  If they have court records especially for violence, have their court records and pictures with her hanging out with them.  The more the better.  Bring in any court records from the other courts(even though they were dismissed).  If there are transcriptions-get a copy,it shows perjury.

Lynn

[Kazoo34]

Great Ideas thanks a ton for the input. Ill have to figure out a way to have a third party taking the pictures I think so that she is not Forewarned of that action.