A change of Custody

[hobiedallas]

My youngest daughter,13 is being verbally abused by both her mom and step-dad. More and more frequent she calls me for help, this last time she walked a 1/4 mile to neighbors to call me and wanted met to get her. Her mom refused me to her. I don't know what to do, but I do know I just cant do nothing. They are threatening her with sending her to boys town. She does not need this. They just want to get rid of a problem. I NEED HELP ASAP!!!!


(2 yrs ago I signed divorce papers that gave sole custody to her . . she basically put me into a tailspin and depression because she married a guy and moved 7 hrs away - the kids were my life, and she took them. So I was not in a good state of mind when I signed. I have since left that guy, and cannot let things proceed the way they are.

[Giggles]

Hup-boy....sounds like teenage angnst and drama.  I can only suggest you tread carefully simply because teenage girls especially around 13 can make it sound like the world is ending...but in reality, they just broke a nail.  I have a 17 y/o daughter and I remember the earlier years when she would call me boo hooing about something her other parent did.  When I talked to that parent...is when I learned the "reality" of the stituation.

How well do you communicate with the other parent?  At this age it is VERY important that good communication happen between the parents!!  If communication is not good, then perhaps e-mail?  My X and I realised that what happen in the past is just that...IN THE PAST.  Neither of us can change what happened, but we can both work together for the sake of our daughter.  I can tell you now...my DD was NONE too happy that her parents are on speaking terms because this meant that she couldn't play us one against the other and I have a feeling your DD may be trying this? 

If you feel that your DD is in danger and wants to come live with you, she is of the age where a judge MAY take into consideration her wishes.

[Kitty C.]

....if she feels that she's in that much danger, she shouldn't be calling you.........she should be calling 911.  If it's that bad, the cops should be involved and let THEM make the determination whether she's in imminent danger or not.  If they believe she is, they will remove her from the BM's home.  Just make sure your children know that they should inform the cops to call you if that happens, so that they can be brought to you instead of being put into the foster system, even if it's temporary.

Just recently a friend told me about his child (pre-teen) calling him to tell him they'd been assaulted by their mom.  He couldn't leave immediately and suggested the child call 911.  The cops came, they got the whole story, and decided the child was better off with Dad that night.

Your daughter is old enough to know how to use 911..........if she uses it (even if she has to go to the neighbors to do it), then you will know it's legit.  If she doesn't, then she may be trying to pit you against the mother.

[BecauseIJustDid]

I would tend to agree with PP. If the child is truly being abused, she needs to contact the authorities. They'll do the right thing.