Matt Logelin

[gemini3]

I read his story in people magazine while in the doctors office this morning.  He is a single father, who's wife died shortly after the birth of their child, and is raising is baby daughter on his own.  His blog tells the story.

http://www.mattlogelin.com/ (http://www.mattlogelin.com/)

What I find most interesting is that the child was/is an infant.  She was born premature, and he has raised her alone since they left the hospital.  If mom had decided to divorce dad instead of passed away, he would have been told that he was incapable of raising an infant, and would have gotten a couple of hours a week to "bond" with the child. 

I totally support what Matt is doing - it just irks me that Matt is being treated like a hero.  Because it means that society in general feels that a man raising his own child is a heroic feat.  Is it?

[Kitty C.]

I understand completely where you're coming from, gemini...........

No, what he's doing is NOT heroic.....he's taking responsibility and being a parent to his child.  He isn't the first to do this and certainly won't be the last.  And I'm sure he doesn't consider himself a hero............but I bet his child will eventually.  I think it's the idiots out there (like the NOW crowd and others of their ilk) who are amazed that a father is even capable of doing this who are labeling him a hero.  Which goes to show you how far fathers have been degraded in our society.........that too many think they aren't capable of even being a parent in the first place.

Which is also why I have absolutely NO respect for any father bashers.......since they want to talk out of both sides of their mouths.  On one hand, they are just amazed that a father is capable of taking care of his infant child and on the other hand, they consider it a normal thing when a father has successfully raised his children and they grow up to be productive members of society.  Do they even understand that they've lost all integrity and trust because of their two-faced reasoning?  Hell no............

Thanks for the soapbox, gemini! 

[Lovestoread]

It's true, and it's sad. Fathers are treated like second rate citizens when it comes to raising their own children. Mom's still get first billing. Hate to say it but it's right there in the court rooms and other places.

My son himself struggles the prejudices of it. It just is.

Raising a child doesn't make a man a hero, it just makes him a parent. It just changes the people around them that call him a hero because the woman dies, which makes them MORONS. If like Gemini said it was a divorce situation, Dad wouldn't be raising the child at all because he wouldn't be looked at as capeable. So true. Just makes you angry.

[tigger]

If like Gemini said it was a divorce situation, Dad wouldn't be raising the child at all because he wouldn't be looked at as capeable. So true.

Not true.  My dad raised my brother and I after his divorce (1970).  Most of the divorced fathers I knew growing up were raising their daughters over half the time.  (Mickey and Fred come to mind immediately.  Odd, I didn't know any that had sons.)  It depends on the fathers.  In my case, my ex didn't give the boys a bath until they were 2 and 7.  To this day, my youngest son doesn't have  toothbrush over there that I didn't send over there.  My oldest buys his own stuff since he's 20.  There are plenty of them that are viewed as quite capable, just as there are some for whom the evidence proves they aren't interested in parenting.

[Lovestoread]

Yeah but those cases are few and far between. Few and far especially in the 70's.

I know Dad's that are raising their kids, but the Mom's had to do something pretty serious to lose custody.

One Dad has custody of his boys because his ex was dumping them on him while she was busy partying and doing drugs and having the crap beat out of her while they were with their Dad and in front of them.

Not too smart.

He acted quick and grabbed custody. She didn't like it so she hooked up with someone else and had even more kidsand moved out of state.

She doesn't even bother to see her boys at all or pay child support. Nice huh?

But for the most part it's women who do get custody.

[gemini3]

I think the point was that, in the eyes of many judges and GAL's, a man is not as capable of caring for an infant as a woman.  You see it all the time - fathers who have infants are often awarded only a few hours visitation at a time, no overnights, and sometimes visitation even has to be at the mothers house.  There are some stories of this on the boards right now.

Matt's story illustrates a point that many people on this board have tried to make - that fathers are capable of caring for and raising an infant. 

Society's reaction to Matt's story illustrates (for me) that society as a whole does not view men as capable of caring for and raising an infant from birth.  If they did it wouldn't be such a big story.