ex-wife at it again

[orgncwby]

Well,, not one week after the police had to retrieve my daughter for me, my ex wife did it again, sent me an email stating she was going to keep my daughter.  I had to contact the police and they retrieved my daughter and unfortunatily arrested my ex wife.  So now,   I am not sure what I do.  Am I still obligated to send daughter over for regular visitations until I can get a court date to modify visitation?  Thank you!

[Kitty C.]

Don't know which jurisdiction you're in, but IMO you should look into getting an ex parte hearing (emergency with only one party present) to temporarily modify custody.  Since she was arrested for interferring with visitation, you have every right to do this.  But I would do this immediately, before the next regular visitation time.  It is possible that the judge might suspend regular visitation until this can be worked out.  But once you make it to court, make sure that you ask for sanctions against the ex if she ever tries to pull this stunt again.

If you have an atty., contact them first before filing for an ex parte hearing....they would have a better idea as to how and what the court can do in that regard.  And those police reports are as good as gold for your case......make sure you have copies and be prepared to have the arresting officer(s) subpoenaed....maybe not for the ex parte hearing, but when you go back to permanently modify.

[MixedBag]

IMHO, don't worry if it's ex-parte or not.

Point is to file a "Motion requesting whatever you think the solution is" with the courts and have her served.

Do this BEFORE her next period of time with the child.

Get a copy of the police report and make sure you can have the officer testify that he had to retrieve the child from her mother.

What do you think the solution should be?

Is she hurting your daughter? -- I'm thinking the answer is no.

Do you know how to find your daughter each time?  I'm thinking the answer to that one is yes.

How far apart are you guys in terms of miles apart, same town?  I know same state.

Time to file that CA order in your new state and do that motion requesting your solution first thing tomorrow morning when the courts open.

As for acting on it, I'd be very careful.

My EX acted on his motion and it didn't go well for him.

How's your daughter holding up?

What's the transportation arrangements?

Be careful -- I don't think anyone here has the absolute right answer.

[orgncwby]

Im not sure what the solution is. 

She doesnt physically hurt the child,  she tells the child things that arent true or things that a 12 yr old should not know.  SHe tells my daughter that I dont love her and that I never wanted her.
My ex was diagnosed Bi-polar in 2001 when we she tried to take her life while she left the kids in the backyard, she again tried in 2002 to take her life and again.  She wants the kids to call me by my name not by dad.  She doesnt allow them to call me when they are with her unless she is allowed to listen in.

I have had to do lots of research to find my daughter. My ex doesnt want me knowing where she is living. 
This is her seventh relationship in two years, fourth engagement.

We are about forty miles away, I meet the ex about ten miles from her place.

I have hired a lawyer to move my CA order up here but so far after two weeks it still has not been transfered.

My daughter wants to live with mom lately.  mainly because mom treats her like an adult, allows her to wear makeup, stay up late, not shower, all the fun and none of the rules.
How do you combat against that?

[Davy]

 
What Kitty posted concerning ex-parte is appropriate and common to protect a child in like situations (ie child's education may be further disrupted) and police reports should suffice along with your testimony.   Emails will probably also be accepted as pertinant.

Further, based on the mother's recent past behavior and the threat suggest the matter is urgent so it is not rational to wait on the normal civil processes (court date, mediation, etc).   A subsequent arrest action may be necessary to force compliance until another remedy (ie supervised visitation) can be found.  Needless to say, you (or anybody else) can not find a solution since nobody's else can control the mother's behavior.  That is the purpose of the court.  A parent should comply with the orders of the court and not take matters in than own hands except to protect a child and it is the parents' authority and responsibility to do so (without interference from the government).

I've always understood that registering orders of a foreign state to be an administrative taskd.  In the meantime, the full faith and credit provisions of the UCCJA/PKPA require courts and others to respect and enforce orders of other states.  Apparently, that is the case since Oregon has already acted upon those orders.

Concerning the mother's abusive and neglectful action with her daughter ... I only have a very dreadful and humbling OPINIONS that I suspect others have awareness. Be concerned with emotional attachments. The effects are both short and long term accompanied with a lot of pain.  The sooner the intervention the better and, 2nd, 3rd, .... parties may be effective.  Constant love, support, encouragement, structure, stability ... imperative in her life.
 
After all, we're just "helping hands" as it should be. I have faith that Orgncwby and others will separate the sheep from the goats and readily apply what has been shared to their environment and situation.

 

[Kitty C.]

Davy,

I always enjoy reading your posts, especially how informative they are.  But once in a while you come up with a 'zinger' that just cuts me up!  'Separate the sheep from the goats'.... I think that has to be the best analogy to these types of circumstances I've heard in a long time!  And being a farmer's daughter, it really hit home for me, LOL!