Custody/Visitation Unmarried and Living Together

[malkdn]

My significant other has become involved in who looks like it will be an ugly custody battle. The child is 4 years old, but no official arrangements for visitation or child support have been made as they were never involved in a relationship. The bm suddenly wants full custody with visitation at her discretion. Some of the charges against us are that we live together and are not married. This is true. We have been in a comitted relationship for several years and have lived together for two.  She also charges that the father has minimal involvement with the child and that the child is in my care most of the time. This is not true. The paper work also states that she is the only one fit to be the sole custodial parent. I am looking for any advice for how we should proceed. We have toyed with the idea of getting married before the court date, but I don't want to feel pressured and feel think what difference does it make? Any advice on how to proceed? Any insight on how the court views couples like us? There are many parts of her life that are very unstable. What should we focus on proving?