Ex Husband Threatening to Take Child... Weird Circumstances

[kwp1982]

I am not sure what to do or believe... I recently got divorced from my husband of 8 years several months ago. We have a six year old little girl who I have taken care of her entire life. He is in the millitary and has and is generally gone every other year out of the country. He did not want to sign the divorce papers and would only do so if I had a clause put in that he has her for six months out of the year as he would get paid more. He added the clause and we signed the papers. I signed the papers just happy to get him out of my life without really looking and without an attorney. A friend of mine recently read the papers and as they state: he is the "residential parent", and I am able to have "liberal visitation". So did I just sign her away to him? What we cannot understand is if he the the "residential parent" why does it state in the papers that I will recieve child support, doesn't make sense. Recently he called and is stating that he wants to take her to live with him and his new girlfriend and he will take every dollar of is sign on bonus to hire a lawyer and take her from me. I have applied for many jobs with no luck and live off of my child support and a link card. (food stamps) I live with my ex brother-in-law and have for two years. It is a very stable living environment with no drug or alcohol misuse. She is very well provided for, has more toys than two kids together, always has food on the table, and is dressed with brand name clothing. I also have never gotten my licence. What do I do, try and get the papers changed? Does he have a leg to stand on? Help please?!?!

[ocean]

How far away does he live? Yes, you need to get the papers changed quick. Go to your local family courts and see if you qualify for a free lawyer (sounds like you do). Have them submit paperwork that you have been the custodial parent for the past xx years and want the courts change it. (They may be able to get you temporary custody right away-or you can ask for it that day then get a lawyer). Have proof that you have taken care of her (school records would be good with her report card).
If he does not live in the school district then the papers will need to change...
I would do this right away, file in the county of your divorce (hopefully where you are still at?).

[4honor]

In a situtation where there is shared parenting, there is alwasy some CHILD SUPPORT changing hands when one parent makes no money and the other does. The existence of CS means nothing in your case.

As far as physical custody, your paperwork says he has custody 6 months out of the year. If he is in the country, he has every right to take custody of your joint daughter for his court ordered amount of time.

Is he unfit, or just deployed often? Your order as written may need some clarification - specific dates or conditions. Many states are adopting the position that military deployment is NOT a significant change in circumstances for the purpose of altering a custody order. WA, which has many military bases is one of the states making that change.

What you need in order to change this relatively new court order is a significant change in the circumstances of the child or the non-moving parent (which would be the other parent). You will have to prove the other parent is unfit as a parent, or that the circumstances at Dad's house are other than that contemplated in the custody order. I am not a lawyer, but this is the standard information a hundred attorney's have stated.

I am going to warn you that you will have a hard time even getting  a trial, because as presented, you are likely to not meet the threshold needed to get in front of a judge. You also have the soldiers and sailors relief act which will create some trouble for your timing, if he keeps getting deployed. Since there isn't really enough information, there may be elements of your case that will make this easier, but you came for advice, not white clouds and cotton candy wishes.

Finally, child support being YOUR only income is not going to make much of a difference to a judge with regard to whether to change the custody order or not. Your position that you only signed the order stating he had custody 6 months out of the year so he could get BAH is not a smart position to take. .. Technically you would be accusing a US soldier of defrauding the government and admiting to conspiracy to commit fraud yourself. I suggest that rather than maintain a written record of an alleged felony, you clear out your previous posting of that issue, and make no further mention of it.