custody evaluation *help*

[TPK]

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out! (slam!)



TPK

[msme]

I'll just bet that you can't resist peeking to see if anyone responded to your trantrum. Well, you thought that I was a man but that was wrong. I am a grandmother of 8 children. I watched while a biased judge ripped 3 of them away from their father & me & put them back in a brothel with their drugged up, whoreing, vicious, abusive mother. We had to drive away after each visit while the kids stood there crying & screaming & begging, "Please daddy, please grandmom, don't make us stay here."

Their dad had them because the police had removed them because of abuse & neglect, & her attempt to murder my son & me. He got them back in an exparte hearing, after she beat one so bad that her whole little face was black & blue & swollen.

Now you keep saying that you want advice. Well here it is. Your child needs both of you EQUALLY, in his life. You are not more important to him than his dad. His dad is not trying to hurt you by having equal time with him. He is trying to be a good FATHER.

Get your head out of your ass & start researching the issue on this site. You say you won't be back. Well, that is your loss. This is the best site on the net for kids. We will not sit back & help you lick your wounds. We will tell you the truth & hopefully, you & your child will benefit.

I hope you read this & take a long hard look at the whole issue. If you are too sorry & imature to handle this like a mature adult that wants the very best for her child, then don't come back. Good luck, you are gonna need it.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[metamorphosis]

Well said!

[foughtandwon]

you have one thing going for you and that is the state your in

AZ even though it says other wise heavily favors the mother.
yes i know this cause im about to enter into a custody battle again after being awarder custody almost a year to the day. the mother has made numerous false claims and has finally found someone that wants to believe her.

[FLMom]

In an ideal world I think equal custody time is the way it should be.

However, it seems by the poster's letter that her ex does have an acknowledged alcohol problem. If it's something large enough that lawyers----his included----mentioned weekly alcohol testing, this may be a good time frame for him to get his act together. As the poster said, this is a temporary arrangement of custody time. Someone who retains a lawyer and is smart tells their lawyer everything. If his own lawyer is in agreement of weekly testing then that kind of tells you something, doesnt' it?

I think we've become jaded lately due to some flamers popping up. It doesn't make every new poster someone to poke sticks at, though. We were ALL uneducated at one time or another. Just because one does not come off as immedietly wanting equal custody does not make them a bad person or a flamer. There may be circumstances to be worked out that we are unaware of. I came here dumb as a box of rocks, with an ex that took off with the kids. I know the pain of seeing my children every other weekend. However, I do know parents of BOTH sexes that see their children only on a limited basis, and in a few of those cases it's for a darn good reason (ie: drugs, alcohol, endangerment, etc). When it just happens for no reason it's a raw deal---especially for the kids.

So let's try some education here, why don't we?

In the main menu at the top of the boards there are sections titled article archives and eval guide. Both sections should be very helpful answering any questions you may have. All of us here have been through a little bit of the court system and have issues we have encountered. If you ever get into mediation I've got some experience with that part.

While every other weekend and one night a week is the norm for most states, most children of divorce will say that they want both parents in their lives equally. It is possible---I've got a pistol of an ex and we manage it.

Good luck, and may we all learn something new everyday. . . . .

FLMom

[msme]

While you make some valid points, in this case, if you read all the responses from seansmom, you will notice that she changes her story to suit each poster'  response.

When refering to the child, it is always, "my son", or "my child", but when she is refering to the father's time with the child, it is, "our child". It would appear that she is feeling scared that the evaluator may see just how difficult she is being & she is looking for some support for her actions.

She also keeps saying that this is all because he is trying to hurt her. I have to wonder how eow & Wed dinner got set up without any input from her. I know if I were in control, I would not be the one with eow.

Also, she didn't respond when told that a person cannot just make the court order a custody eval without some grounds. But I guess that is because he is picking on her & now he has the court doing it too.

As far as the alcohol issue goes, she said that her lawyer discussed weekly testing with his lawyer but nothing happened. That could also mean that there was no problem but only her trying to sling mud. If she instructs her lawyer to pose that issue to his lawyer, than his lawyer has to meet & hold the discussion. That does not give it any credibility.

As a grandmother who has seen her son brought to the very brink of self-distruction by a judge & a pbfh who were step by step destroying his children & his life, I tend to try to see the whole picture & maybe try to read between the lines.

I cannot sympathize with a person (man or woman) who is not willing to see anything but their own agenda & wants nothing more than to have their own poor behavior validated.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!