Confused on Custody

[Bailey0712]

My son's father and I are both wanting physical custody of our son. We were never married nor lived together. I allowed my son to reside with his father 2 yrs ago, it was a mutual agreement. We both wanted to give our son something many children don't have today and that is a strong presence of their father. His father and I have personal issues with one another but we both want what is best for our son. The agreement was for him to have him during the week and I get him on the weekend and some Thursday. I also provided him with financial support and I kept record of payment. Now he's filing child support on me through the Attorney General's office in order to obtain custody. Of course I am contesting the order and I plan to request a Family Home Study from Family Services. I know the ball can fall in either court but have I done something wrong?? Did I make a mistake by letting my son live with his father????

[Forthelittleones]

Why does Dad feel that he needs to file for support?  Is there a current custody order?  What state do you live?

[4honor]

Not really. But you have made it more difficult for yourself by not making the agreement "official". Don't panic; all is not lost.

What I am understanding you to say is that you want things to continue as they are? Correct?

Document everything so that you can prove you have had considerable shared custody of the child. You need to prove you have been supporting the child and that you have had a considerable time share with the child, so that a deviation from the guideline can be taken into consideration. Get your proof together. Your job is to establish that any order outside of the historical agreed verbal understanding is not in the best interest of the child... since he spends a great deal of time in your home too.

Also, why now? What has changed in the life of the child or the Bio Father? Have you missed or been late on any agreed payments -- which might lead to frustration on the part of the father and thus this current action?

Support enforcement is not the end of the world. Garnishment can be a blessing in disguise (if your CSE office is competant and can use a calculator) as the money you don't see is easier not to miss.

[Bailey0712]

We live in Texas. His dad is filing in order to establish legal custody and no there is no current order in place. This will be our 1st time appearing before the judge. His dad also beleives I should be giving more than what I give. I give on a consistant basis, no it's not the standard 20% but we agreed on the amt based on the fact we both provide for him. He has since had another child and I beleive he's doing it to help with the needs of this child

[Bailey0712]

I'm not sure if I want things to continue as they are (???) He's very cocky and I'm afraid he will use it against me later. I know my son needs his father but he needs me as well. Don't get me wrong, his father is very good with him and I know he loves but it's like he wants to hurt me financially. He makes more than me not that it matters but our son is not wanting for anything. What I would like to see happen is joint, legal custody with everything being 50/50. Like I said before I have record of every payment made to him and I was paying him on a consistant basis. He plans to have him school before we go before the judge and I know that will play a huge factor but if I was to go get my sone and not return him until we see the judge I would not be committing a crime cause there is no order in place. I don't want to resort to that so I'm hoping we can reslove it before hand

[metamorphosis]

 but it could look bad for you in court.  Since that has been the arrangement for so long, you will be upsetting the child's normal routine and the judge may not look kindly on that.  You may want to talk to your lawyer first to see what they think the judge will say about it.

[Bailey0712]

Yea I know but his routine was interferred when I let him go stay with his dad.............neither one of use has legal representation. I hoping we can get joing custody. I mean that's basically what we have had for the past 2 yrs