Question

[Angus571]

Both girls are under 10, so I don't think their opinion really matters.  I know they have a strong attachment to the Ex's Husband.  I would say yes, if I had to answer honestly.

[Angus571]

Yes, I believe she would adhere to whatever we agree on or what the Judge orders...She is not vindictive in anyway.

[tigger]

So, I'm confused.  Why are you fighting this?

Would moving to the same town be a possibility?

[Angus571]

Because I want to be apart of my kids lives and raising them....

[tigger]

But you said that you don't think she's being vindictive, you believe she'll send them to you for your time.  That implies that she'll support a relationship and believes that it's valuable to the kids.  How far away is she moving?  And again, is there a possibility of you moving around the same time?  Also, in this economy, what a company says they plan to do in a year should be taken with a grain of salt. 

[Angus571]

We are on the West Coast and the planned move is to the East Coast...No way I can move.  With his job, it is a solid that the move is set.  I don't doubt that he has to move....

[ocean]

Well, you have two choices..
1. fight the move and request she stay with kids or they live with you (more and more judges are not allowing move aways)
2. work out a deal to be able to see them and get it is writing..

We are on the East coast..they school calendar had holidays in every month, plus they get a feb and spring break (thanksgivng and christmas) and you should get most of the summer...end of june until aug here.

[Davy]

It appears to me you are doing all the right things concerning the children and especially the congenial and respectful communication you have with the mother.  In many aspects you may have significant cause for the children to remain in their current environment  in contrast to being uprooted and relocated across the country.

No matter the picture that will be painted concerning the relocate ... new job, family, schools, hospitals, visitation, willingness to cooperate,etc. the truth is that a relocate is sometimes difficult for an intact family.  Add to that scenario separated parents, jurisdictional issues which may arise, and more over the children's knowledge that a parent has been left behind and is not close by.  Your stated desire is to be part of the children's life ... that means their education/social/athletic/church involvements, etc.

Those involvements are  simply unattainable when a geographical distance has been created for what ever reason(s).   The children activities and needs and wants will naturally change as they age.  Also, things can change in the mother's life to the point she is a completely different person and doesn't even know herself (ie she becomes a rant and raving Bimbo). 

The new twist you referred to is not just "new" .... it is "MAJOR with significant ramifications and repercussions".   Much has been written and laws and more laws have been created over a long period of time.  Please do your self (and mother) and the children a favor by researching this site and other sources concerning moveaways, relocations, interstate custody, UCCJA and PKPA and even the Office of Juvenile Justice.

You might consider presenting a situation whereas the children remain in the home state with you and the mother does all the traveling back and forth (or some variation thereof).
When everything is given careful consideration then such a situation is best all the way around for all concerned.

Thanks for taking a stand for your children.  Best to them and all. 

[Momfortwo]

We are on the West Coast and the planned move is to the East Coast...No way I can move.  With his job, it is a solid that the move is set.  I don't doubt that he has to move....

If this goes to court, the judge is going to look at the whole situation.  Including which parent has always been there for the kids.

And that wasn't you for 5 years. 

They are also going to look at who has been supporting the children financially.

And that wasn't you for 5 years. 

You aren't going to be able to stop the children from moving.   Your actions in the past pretty much saw to that.  And since you ony recently came back into their lives, you really don't have a track record of being there for your kids.   Whereas, the mother and stepfather do. 

[Angus571]

Thanks for all the help,

I know each and every one of you have endured your own situation and have based you opinions one that.  As of now, I think Momfortwo is the most logical...But we will see!

It ain't over until it's over...