custody hearing

[ralo]

I have a custody hearing coming up in june to get my kids from my ex in Norfolk,va but dont know what to expect and how to prepare for it.
So far I have been gathering all my evidence to prove her unfit like police reports,medical and pictures but I dont know what to expect like will the judge look at all that stuff right then or do I need to make a request or need a lawyer or something.
I just dont want to go to court and get disapointed because I already dont belive in the va court system,I have all the documents I need but do not know how the process would work on that day,will the judge look at all the proof and give me my kids or is it one of the things where they just rush you through so they can get to their lunch break and tell you you have to go through some other complicated process for something so simple

[ocean]

Hi,
In our experience a hearing is not a trial...In our area the judge will call you in and ask what is going on..you get to do a little talk and he may ask you to try to work it out (outside in the hall...). We had ours go on for a very long time...months before we got to a trial.
At trial- You act like a lawyer. You can question ex if she goes on stand so have questions ready. You can question any of her witnesses... Ask straight forward questions..."Were you there when this incident occured on OCt 4th?"  Then when it is your turn, you call your own witnesses...and your evidence. Pictures are hard to get into evidence. We got pictures in by bringing in the person that took the pictures to testify.
Different states...different judges...you may be able to do this one day but custody changes for the most part take a few times in court.

[Giggles]

I agree with ocean.  If you're trying to do a complete custody change, get a lawyer ASAP!!  They know the in's and out's in regards to the filings needed and how to get "evidence" introduced.  I would also push to have a GAL assigned for the children!!

[pbpunisher]

I have a custody hearing coming up in june to get my kids from my ex in Norfolk,va but dont know what to expect and how to prepare for it.
So far I have been gathering all my evidence to prove her unfit like police reports,medical and pictures but I dont know what to expect like will the judge look at all that stuff right then or do I need to make a request or need a lawyer or something.
I just dont want to go to court and get disapointed because I already dont belive in the va court system,I have all the documents I need but do not know how the process would work on that day,will the judge look at all the proof and give me my kids or is it one of the things where they just rush you through so they can get to their lunch break and tell you you have to go through some other complicated process for something so simple

Not sure of your state, but the first court may be just a cattle call, and you'll probably go before a refree/attorney who will try to get you to mediate with your ex which usually does not work. You will then go to trial which you may schedule a half/full day depending on how many witnesses, evidence etc.. It's really too much to try to do on your own. I've been going through this for 5 years and the more I learn, the less I feel comfortable going it on my own. Please, do what ever you have to, to get an attorney. You can talk to most intially for free, then you can set up a payment schedule with them. First thing all attorneys asked me was "Are you current on your support payment". Which I am, they just probably seen too many trying to get full custody to get out of paying.

[ralo]

Iam going to court in norfolk,va and I am now looking for a lawyer.Now I have a problem with the child support payment thing.I have been paying but just to spite me she sent me a text about 3 weeks ago saying she was giving permission to press charges on me for false reports and that she was going to get what she called ''her money'' through dss.I text her back go ahead.Now the so called false charges she was talkng about was social services being called and yes I have proof a tape,medical records and a few police reports ,Iam in the process of getting the police called as witnesses.Second I dont know how that whole dss child support thing works so Iam not giving her anything till my court date june second.Then last she sent me a bunch of text last sunday saying how bad I was gonna look in front the judge cause my payments are not up to date and a bunch of other junk.I feel all she was trying to do is provoke me into doing something .I dont know what to do as far as the child support right now but I saved everyone of her stupid text messages to show the judge also.

[Giggles]

Custody is a LOOOOONG process...but it sounds like you're on a good roll.  The main thing to remember is to DOCUMENT...DOCUMENT...DOCUMENT!! 

DO NOT get into a he said...she said...w/the x.  IF you have to discuss the children...that is all you need to talk about.  Ignor her taunts but save the messages.

The major thing to remember is "The best interest of the children"  address that and not so much the thing SHE does....only the things that adversly effect the children.

As for CS....are you current?  Do you have proof of payment (check stubs, cancelled checks, etc)?