Question about FERPA letters

[fergui]

Okay...who do I send the FERPA letter to if my ex is the PRINCIPAL?!?!?

Short back ground info:

Ex and I just went to court cuz he was moving to the other side of the state to take a principal's position. He won full physical custody (we had joint) and has taken both of our boys with him. I have ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS been there for them and been involved in their schooling. I want to stay informed and involved and I know he will never share information with me. What do I do?

[joni]

send the FERPA letter certified or via fed ex.  he's got 45 days to respond. if he does not, report him to the school board and the department of education in washington dc.  see this page for more info

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/reportcards.htm

[fergui]

>
>send the FERPA letter certified or via fed ex.  he's got 45
>days to respond. if he does not, report him to the school
>board and the department of education in washington dc.  see
>this page for more info
>
>http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/reportcards.htm


Do I still send it to HIM (as principal) or do I send it to someone else at the school...i.e. counselor, secretary, superintendent, etc.?

[ocean]

Wow!  I am a teacher and this is a "weird" position for  the teacher. Is he not giving you information? If this is his first year there, I would first send him a letter/talk to him saying that you still want to be involved but since he is the principal it may be awkward. Have him give you the teacher's name and ask to be put on the mailing list for pictures, report cards, etc... If this is an on-going issue then I would send it to the superintendent stating the situation but that you still are entitled the info. Good luck!

[joni]

just send it to the front office like you would any other school, send it fedex or ups or certified

wait 45 days from when they signed for it, make a phone call as to the status, don't identify yourself as the principal's ex, just your child's mother.

if they start jerking you around, get their name, note the date

send a 2nd request to your child's school.  then also send a letter requesting the information to the superintendent along with a copy of the 1st letter, 2nd letter and receipt as to when the 1st letter was received.  again, identifying yourself as the child's mother, don't slam your Ex, let him dig his own grave on this.

be the bigger person

you have two issues here.  one is to see your child's file and make sure that your part of the permanent record.

the other is also contact the teacher.  don't go quoting FERPA and you're right to be involved.  you don't want to turn them off as you being overbearing.  don't come on strong, if the principal is badmouthing you, don't give the teacher reason to believe you're the crazy mom.  also remember, this is her supervisor.

be super nice to the teacher, DON"T mention your Ex.  that'll surprise her, it won't be what she expects.  the school should have an open house in the coming months.  go to it, see if you can bring your child with you.  volunteer to be a room mother or whatever.  give her your email to stay in touch.  

hopefully the teacher will respond and you'll be ok on that front

good luck

[fergui]

>Wow!  I am a teacher and this is a "weird" position for  the
>teacher. Is he not giving you information? If this is his
>first year there, I would first send him a letter/talk to him
>saying that you still want to be involved but since he is the
>principal it may be awkward. Have him give you the teacher's
>name and ask to be put on the mailing list for pictures,
>report cards, etc... If this is an on-going issue then I would
>send it to the superintendent stating the situation but that
>you still are entitled the info. Good luck!


No, he's not giving me any information. We can't talk and letters get no response. Emails are responded to and he says that he is doing it, but it never happens.

[fergui]

>
>just send it to the front office like you would any other
>school, send it fedex or ups or certified
>
>wait 45 days from when they signed for it, make a phone call
>as to the status, don't identify yourself as the principal's
>ex, just your child's mother.
>
>if they start jerking you around, get their name, note the
>date
>
>send a 2nd request to your child's school.  then also send a
>letter requesting the information to the superintendent along
>with a copy of the 1st letter, 2nd letter and receipt as to
>when the 1st letter was received.  again, identifying yourself
>as the child's mother, don't slam your Ex, let him dig his own
>grave on this.
>
>be the bigger person
>
>you have two issues here.  one is to see your child's file and
>make sure that your part of the permanent record.
>
>the other is also contact the teacher.  don't go quoting FERPA
>and you're right to be involved.  you don't want to turn them
>off as you being overbearing.  don't come on strong, if the
>principal is badmouthing you, don't give the teacher reason to
>believe you're the crazy mom.  also remember, this is her
>supervisor.
>
>be super nice to the teacher, DON"T mention your Ex.  that'll
>surprise her, it won't be what she expects.  the school should
>have an open house in the coming months.  go to it, see if you
>can bring your child with you.  volunteer to be a room mother
>or whatever.  give her your email to stay in touch.  
>
>hopefully the teacher will respond and you'll be ok on that
>front
>
>good luck

LOL...you are asking a lot, joni. But I do understand what you are saying.

The open house was the first night of school. I was informed (via email from ex) the day of. But the school is 5 hours away on the other side of the state. I didn't have time to make preparations to go. And because of the distance it is not feasible to be a room mother. I would do it, of course, if I could...I always was before when we lived in the same town. But now it is not a possibility. That is one of the hardest parts.

[joni]

I know about that, we were also 5 hours away by car from SD.  The teachers were even more accomodating to my DH for things likes conferences because they knew he couldn't come mid week.  All the more reason to make the teacher your new best friend.  At SD's last school, the teacher said we did more than most in town parents.