Question about custody order....

[worriedmom]

I just got a tip that my ex offered my son a hit off his joint but my son told him it smelt funny and that he didnt want it. His uncle and dad were LAUGHING! We are going to the police tomorrow to see what can be done. I am done... I am so mad and frustrated and angry... I am scared My son has asthma and he's 5 years old!!!!!   Im losing it, I am truly going to lose it on my ex, this is exactly what I was afraid of and my son is at his house right now.   Everything in me is keeping me from going to his house and snatching him up. 2 people have told me this that were there. One had agreed to go talk to the police with us I dont know what the other one will do. I want this to end.....

[msme]

Have the friend who was there & willing to talk, call the CPS emergency hotline, ASAP. First thing this morning have the police make a well check. Meet them there with the person who will talk.  If the druggies are true to form, they will all be wiped out & sound asleep while your son will be essentially unsupervised.  

Bring your custody order & ask to have the child removed & turned over to you. Immediately take him to a hospital & have him checked & drug tests run on both his blood & hair. Ask him to process the tests as evidence. Ask the doctor to talk to him about what he did last night. He can draw him out & he will also have to report to CPS.

I don't remember if you have a lawyer but if you do, be standing outside the office when he/she arrives Monday morning. Tell him/her what happened & ask to have an emergency Ex Parte order filed for an immediate temporary change of custody, with a no contact order until court.

Also get your son into therapy. I know he is only 5 but kids that age absorb an awful lot & already want to take the blame & try to fix things. Call your local mental health clinic & ask for an emergency visit. Or if you have insurance, call your pediatrician & ask for a referal. Or go to your son's school & speak to the counselor. He/she can give you the name of a good therapist.

Also ask the school counselor to meet with your son & encourage him to go to him/her anytime he wants to talk to someone. Check in with her/him at least once a week.

When my grandchildren were being abused, the school counselor was a Godsend. She came to court with us. Her word has great credibility. The therapist was also a great help.

Good luck & God bless you & your son. We will be keeping you in our prayers.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[worriedmom]

Well, I am not a happy person right about now. I called the child abuse hotline and explained to them what is going on. They told me that they cant do anything about it because it didnt EFFECT the child. I told her that he has asthma but she said that he didnt have an asthma attack! This world is screwed up. Doing drugs ,she said, "is a lifestyle choice" This is bull!!!!! As a parent I am expected to protect my son but when i try state tells me that I cant because my son isnt hurt badly or dead!!! This is ridiculous. Basically she told me ii have to wait until he kills him before anything can be done. I dont know what to do at this point. I am about ready to state hop if someone in this idiotic state doesnt do something about this.

[Lovingdad]

I was about to reply to your Sept 30 post regarding Thanksgiving holiday and ask if your ex has been reduced to an every-other weekend (EOW) NCP.  I still would like to know if he is a EOW NCP.  If he is, you should be offering him a lot of extra time, provided he wants it.  Children need two parents, their biological parents, but not if one uses drugs.

[worriedmom]

Yes he is a EOW NCP but he doesnt make an initiative to see him or talk to him outside of HIS weekend unless its something like this. He doesnt want to be in any part of his life except what the court has told him. I would give him a lot more time if he wasnt mentally damaging my child and trying to give him drugs when hes 5 yrs old. Or ever for that matter. He needs to be a father to him not a self righteous, idiotic, game playing, racist pig. He is teaching my son to say the "n" word. What am I going to do if he goes to school and calls someone that? I shouldnt have to worry about these things.  I am already fearing that he wont live past the next weekend his druggy father has him.

[worriedmom]

Ok Today I got a wierd call out of the blue from BD's mom. She called to ask for my son's info to get his Birth Certificate. Well, I dont know if I did something I shouldnt have but when she called I was pressed for time, stressed out and trying to get ready to leave so I just said fine and emailed her his birth certificate. She was then making a big deal that it wasnt a certified copy. Y would she need a CERTIFIED copy? I dont know what devious stunt she could pull with that information. I feel so stupid now but i am just so tired of fighting with his family. Does anyone know what all can be done with birth certs other than enroll in school and stuff along those lines? Also, when I took my son to his psych. visit today, I was informed that BD's GF called to make an appointment to talk about Lukis. Why couldnt he call?  I have a feeling he's going to make a mess of things and that something is being plotted. He is very irrate and angry that my son is going to a psychologist and gets very defensive when I talk to him about what she has said about my son's development. He has told me to stop taking him because "he doesnt need it". I think I have every reason to be suspicious of his motives. Any ideas of what could happen with the Birth cert and all of a sudden interest with getting it, now he is going to my sons psych?

[MixedBag]

Now you got me confused -- and how your "family tree" is set up.

I know once I got my EX's son's birth certificate because I wanted to prove his dependent was born AFTER our son with the thought that he shouldn't be allowed to receive a reduction in his income for a dependent subsequently born after our divorce.  (Found out later that WV Child Support doesn't see things the same way).

[worriedmom]

ok im confused My son's Bio Dad's Mother (my son's grandma) called asking for info to get his Birth Cert. I emailed her a copy but she complained that it wasnt certified then. I just didnt know what kind of devious stunt she could pull with that information (certified birth certificate)

[kittencaboodle]

Where do you live?  

I ask because I know in Indiana, holdiays supercede regular visitation time.  I believe it even states that in the PArenting Guidelines.  If your state has their parenting guidelines online, or if you have a copy of the guidelines, you can do what my husband and I do when going up against his ex.  

Quote, verbatim, line and page of the decree or guidelines which state what you are enforcing.  And don't let him get away with anymore cr*p.   Unfortunately, that's how we have to act with DH's ex and we're the NCPs!  

[FLMom]

There's two things that come to mind. . .

1) Passport.

2) She's trying to cash in some stocks or savings bonds that are in his name somewhere.

FLMom