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Tired of researching issues for people that have no intention of following up.

Started by ksmarks, Jun 26, 2009, 08:08:00 PM

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I am posting this here  as I am not certain where else I can post this, as it would  interupt the free flow of conversation.   

I am upset that a poster has belittled my contributions to this site, and has insinuated that I am a newbe...etc....

I am a NALA certified paralegal, I do know how to find, and have even been taught to interpret what the laws mean in real time.  However, since I was certified over ten years ago, I have been plagued with people that wanted free legal resources at my time and liberty.  And, honestly, there is rarely any follow through.

I am more than willing to assist a person that is really interested and invested, however, I am not willing to feed into what I preceive to be more drama....I need for people to engage and do some of the dirty work prior to sticking my neck on the line with my job & my family....

If I do not fit the profile of this community I am more than willing to stop posting and take my support and assistance elsewhere....

Regardless... I believe that you are doing a service and for that I wish you all the best....



I don't have your legal credentials or your knowledge base.  The poster who is targeting you (and a few other regular posters) has little beyond his own experience to use to try to browbeat anyone who disagrees with him.  He thinks that his research into his own case qualifies him to be the only expert to be reckoned with.  If that were so, he would be the new Socrateaser. 

Please be patient.  There were warnings given and he is being watched closely.

My first post on another site got me a reply from the current admin who gave me a HUGE list of articles to read.  My first response was, "Doesn't he GET it?  I'm TIRED and don't want to read anything.  I just want someone to give me the answers".  I read the articles anyway.  Got smarter (unfortunately for me, quite slowly) and now at the end of my journey am starting to feel somewhat qualified on giving others advice based on my level of knowledge.

You are doing a good service.  If the readers you are speaking with aren't willing to look at your links and referrals, someone else may read and learn from your postings.  You may never know because they don't respond to you.  Someone far into the future looking at archives, even.  Don't think that you're wasting your time by providing information. 

Forgive me, but you are new to the site, right?  He may be confusing new to the site as new to the whole situation.  That may be what the other poster meant.  I don't intend to stick up for him, however.  On a good day (and I am somewhat intelligent), I can't even follow his train of thought. 

I am NOT an attorney or have much legal knowledge at all, except for my own case.  As such, take my words with as much salt as you wish.  But stick around.  Please.


Please continue to post.  In the time you have been on here, you clearly are very knowledgeable and bring a non biased knowledgeable perspective.  The person you are complaining about is a jerk.  He thinks he is all knowing and he is not only rude to you, but myself and other posters.  He is not capable of rebutting without stooping to a junior high level mentality of name calling and bashing and states others who don't agree with him (which from what I see is alot of other posters here) have some hidden agenda, which is ridiculous.

Hang in there, but please, hang.

Kitty C.

I agree wholeheartedly..........no matter where you go, there will be the naysayers and know-it-alls who think their knowledge is the be all and end all.  In my own situation, I've been out of the 'loop' since 2002, when DS's dad died.  With my SS, we have 3 years left and then we'll be DONE (at least with CS), but the animosity created by the BM started gving way about 3-4 years ago.  And tho my 'court experience' certainly isn't recent, my overall experience has developed over the past 19-20 years.  I may not have the formal education, but I feel I have something to pass on to others who are where I've been and I hope I am able to help them as much as possible, even if it's only in the form of a 'pep talk'.

Keep coming back, k..........you are a voice of reason and experience in a atmosphere that can be fraught with anxiety, confusion, and emotion.  We need you here!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


check out all the posts and then form the opinion this situation was not "created" as an excuse when nobody responded to her many posts  and nobody else had anything to do with that.

she was clear why she didn't feel like her expertise fit this board. I have seen this exact situation before...... and , although a needed professional service, she said it and was right

I clearly agree with Ksmarks !!!!!!!!!!


I don't think you can realistically expect to see the benefits of the advice you give people on an anonymous board.  I also think that there's no "one size fits all" solution to the issues people have here.  You have to give your advice with the best of intentions, and then let people take it or leave it.  If you're expecting a parade after you give advice you're not going to get it here.  People are struggling through difficult times.

I also don't think that posting to an anonymous board is really "sticking your neck out", but that's just my opinion.

If you want to help people, and feel like you are doing so, then continue to post.  If you're looking for a pat on the back for being so great you may end up waiting a while.  Not saying that what you're posting isn't great - it's just that you're unlikely to get many kudos, and there will always be dissent with such hot button issues.