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My former wife refuses visitation....

Started by ravenx329, Oct 09, 2005, 07:06:48 AM

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ravenx329

   I am new to this so I am not sure what all the abbreviations stand for, but I will tell my story and see if anyone can help or give me any advice.
      My name is Jason I am a 31 year divorced father of one beautiful lil girl whom is 8 years old. Me and my x have joint custody, at least that was my understanding until last Friday. I am a very kind hearted person and will do just about anything for anyone.  Anyways to get to the chase... I have for two years been picking up my daughter and my x wife and her husbands kid from school, (why her other kid? it was so I could see mine every day) Well about 5 months or so ago I had noticed bruises on my daughter consitent with fingers (there were four bruises in a row on her forearm) I asked Alexis (my daughter) where they came from and she told me her mother had gotten mad and drug her through their house and locked her in her room. I had contacted my x wife about the bruises and she said she may have gotten a little carried away, but it would never happen again. That didn't matter to me. The next day I took my daughter to my x wifes DR. and had him examine her arm and my daughter told him my x did it and why. The Dr said he would chart it. After that things strated getting better until my lil girl and I were going through a flea market and we passed a "tobacco" stand and my lil girl said Kenny made mom one of those. I said one of what and she pointed out a Glass pipe. I asked "well does she use it?' her reply was yes but only outside.  I then asked, what does she tell you it is for?? Alexis said it is for when she runs out of cigarettes. I told my daughter that it was called a crack pipe, and I then called my dad who is a retired K-9 police officer from the Louisville PD to explain to my lil one what a crack pipe was. Well the next day my lil one called me and told me "daddy I broke her pipe and stomped it into little peices. I asked her if her mom had a little wooden cigarette box in her purse, she said yes. I told her what that was and she threw it into the pond. Well skip forward to friday of 2 weeks ago. I was dropping off my x wifes son and letting Alex say goodbye cause she stays with me on weekends, well my x started yelling at her screaming "if you act like you acted this morning I am not going to slap you this time I am going to put my fist to your face' !!!  X( I got very angry and took Alexis and drove back to my house ans I was going to go to the police station but my lil one was crying that she didn't want her mom to go to jail, so I said ok and went home. Why?/ well I live next door to the deputy Sherriff and I went over to him as he was luckily off duty and told him of the incident. He reported it to social services. They cam and did a sweep of the x's house and asked questions to Alexis in the presense of her mother, which to me defeated the purpose because my lil one is terrified of myy x and said everything was good, and the lasy asked Alexis if she had three wished what would they be. Well she wasn't going to say anything negative in front of her mother, so she said an Airconditioner in her room, a new DVD player and something else. (Why do I know this?? because I went to the school where my daughter attends and ate lunch with my daughter and asked her because the social worker wouldn't tell me)  Well after eating lunch with my daughter, the principal stopped me and said I have been removed from the pick up/ drop off list and was no longer allowed to eat lunch with me daughter either. I asked why not, and she told me that it was because my x is the primary custodian, and she gets to make that ruling, not me. Since that monday I have not been able to speak, see, or have my daughter. I call their house and they wont answer the phone. I tried calling from a payphone, no answer, I call her cell phone and leave messages, no response. I am on disability and can not afford a lawyer but I am not ignorant to the juditual system either so I am a Notice- motion and amendment and put our case back on the docket. Sent a certified letter to the x wife, made a police report for violating custody orders, have issued a request for the DR files on my daughter from the DR who examined my daughters arm. But what has me stumped is what can I do til my case goes to court!!! My daughter is in a hazardous houshold and I don't know if she is being mistreated, or being hurt, or what is going on there. Our court date is almost a month away. Can I summon (sp) my daughter to court if necessary, and will written statements be enough as far as what people have seen my x do to my daughter as far as smacking her face, etc?? Can I go to their house without being arrested for harrassment just so I can see my daughter, and if so do I need to bring a cop along in case I get shot for being on their property? I mean they live out in the country, and my x is very mean. I need help in the worst way> can anyone here help me??? if so email me at [email protected] or leave a message here for me. I really need some help. I love my daughter and she is all I have.
 Thanks you in advance,
          Jason

MYSONSDAD

The one very smart thing you did, was take your daughter to her doctor. It is now documented by a physician. Many times, the social worker will interview at the school, with neither parent being informed or present. Reason being, Children will often try to protect the parent who is abusing them, afraid they will get in trouble.

I would continue to make the effort to pick up your daughter according to the CO. Bring a witness and a camcorder. Talk with your neighbor and see if you can get a civil standby. With his previuos knowledge of what is going on, you should have no problem.
 
Much of the leg work you can do yourself. Go down and see if there are any public records on your ex and her husband.

Was anything found in the sweep they did of her house?

Keep very detailed documentation on what is happening. Use a spiral notebook, pen and do not skip spaces. Continue on the page, sometimes having several dates on one page. This way, it will not appear, your adding things later. There is a free Time Tracker on this site. Start a papertrail.

There are excellent resources here, just go to the top of the page and search for information you need. I am sure, many here will help you further.

Any legal questions can be asked at Dear Socrateaser, follow his mandated guidelines.

"Children learn what they live"