moved away.

[Im-a-dad2]

There's more to this story, but I'm trying to leave out details for privacy...

A couple years ago my ex moved out of state with our child. The court order sad she had to get my permission or the courts permission first, but she moved anyway. (State law says she couldn't move without permission too.)

It was a long time before I found out where they were living. Since my ex has sole custody, I didn't think there was anything I could do about her moving. Stupid, I know.

Recently I filed a motion to find her in contempt and to return our child back to this state.

Because its been so long since they moved (2 years), I'm nervous the judge will let my ex keep our child with her in the other state.

Can a judge disregard state law and his own court order? If that happens, I know my ex won't ever take the court order seriously again...

Has anyone ever been through this?

[MomofTwo]

What state are you in? Do you still reside in the original state? What specifically did your court orders specify about relocation? How old is the child?

From what I have seen, and each case would be different, but you have waited too long to fight this and expect a return of the child.  Your silence regarding the move and not doing anything immediately  will be construed as agreement to the move.

It didn't matter that you didn't know where they were, you had the local courts as a remedy at that time to file a petition for the immediate return of the child. 

The child has been living in the new area for two years...the courts will evaluate how it is in the best interst of the child to be uprooted but I have never seen the courts mandate a child be returned after that long. 

Your other details may be pertinent.

[Im-a-dad2]

2 years ago we had a trial on visitation and custody. At trial my ex tried to add a motion to move. The judge denied it and he took our case "under advisement" for 2 months.

During that time she sent me 2 separate emails asking me to agree to the move. I DID NOT agree, because she was not moving to benefit our child, and I filed a motion to restrain. The motion was not heard because the case was still "under advisement."  The final judgment says she was to get mine or the courts permission before moving. She was also awarded full custody so that's why I thought she had the right to move.

Like I said before, there are many details that I do not want to post. Please let me know if I can pm...

[snowrose]

First off, you can never guess what a judge will do.  Most of the time, however, family court judges will make decisions based on what is best for the child.  Given that the child has now been in the other state for 2 years, I'm guessing that the judge will not try to force a move back.  The new state has had time to become the child's home and the judge would rather not upset the child more.

Wait and see what the judge will do with your motions.  The contempt can be a small thing and the judge might see that through, allowing something like a fine.  Again it's a guess because you can never know what a judge will do, but I don't think that the judge will force your ex to move back with the child.  The child is use to being there.  You yourself have survived for 2 years with the child being there.  There's no immediate reason the child should be uprooted again.

If you find that the judge won't force your ex and the child to move back, you might apply for some kind of visitation that will give you reasonable time with the child.  Maybe something like 4-6 weeks visitation time during the summer and every other Christmas vacation with you and the ex meeting halfway to exchange the child.

[Im-a-dad2]

I realize my child may have grown comfortable living there. But where I live, this is my child's home, where they lived for 6 years, wheres there's family, friends and much more. I believe it would be best for my child to come back, especially since there's more benefits here, like better schools for example.

Also, I do not believe my ex makes the best decisions in regards to our child. I know her move was self-centered - she never proved the schools or neighborhoods we better, nor did she obtain a better job. She really only moved because of her new boyfriend, and I do not think its in our child's best interest to remain (with my ex) in the other state.

Being a contempt motion, I know the burden is on my ex to prove why she isn't in contempt. But I'm wondering, should I also be prepared to show how relocating our child back here will be better for them??

[MomofTwo]

Curious....why didn't you file for an emergency return of the child two years ago when she took him and left?  Why have you waited this long to do anything about it?   Have you ever tried to see your child in these two years? Do you have proof of attempted visits? All of this will weigh with the courts. 

[Im-a-dad2]

Basically I misunderstood the court order. I thought that since she had physical custody, she had the right to move. (Probably would've helped to have a lawyer to explain this was wrong, but I did not have one and now I wish I did.)

Recently a friend read the final judgment and pointed out that my ex moved against the court order and state law. That's why I filed the contempt.

I have tried to work with my ex, and have seen my child a few times - on father's day and birthdays - but my ex won't make a visitation schedule. She actually told me to take her back to court for it. So now I am...

Please understand, this isn't out of spite. I do believe my child would be better off here, and it would allow for BOTH of us parents to be involved, not just one. Also, I'm not trying to take our child away from my ex. She still owns a house here and could easily move back (with her BF too, the house is big enough), and could even obtain her old job.

[Davy]

Im-a-dad2

In my very strong opinion the court will and should focus any hearing on  matters in your complaint namely the child has been removed illegally from the state and has substantially interferred with the childs natural right to have access to both parents.  Like you said she is against state law and totally not in compliance with the actual court order.  These statues are clearly in black and white and do not allow for the court's bias and prejudices discretions to enter in. 

It does not matter how long ago the child was snatched or how often you've seen the child,
if you still live in the state, etc, etc.  From what you have posted, you have done absolutely nothing wrong or illegal.  What you should take away from this is that there will probably be others to make up things or try to find something silly about you that has nothing to do with the civil and maybe criminal charges (see Criminal Interference statues by state in the articles section on this site) against the other parent.  The matters are very serious.  These statues were not pulled from thin air but rather the real life experiences of children in the same circumstance as your child.  This is the truth. 

You need to understand the other parent can move any where in the world they like but is substantially prohited to moving a child.  Also, do not comply with or entertain any legal process from the abscounded to state ... your state is the child's home state and has jurisdiction over all parties.  The other state has no jurisdictions over you or any existing court order and any other custody type (ie visitation) process. 

Another thing, for any initial Comtempt action or removal from the state actions you and your child may be best served by a rule-of-law attorney from out of town that is more likely to hold the court to the legal statues and won't have another case in that court the next day..  In other words, other than a local, non family law attorney that is accustomed to abiding by a judges status quo.   

Hope this helps.

[Im-a-dad2]

"Davy wrote - You need to understand the other parent can move any where in the worldthey like but is substantially prohibited to moving a child.The other state has no jurisdictions over you or any existing court order and any other custody type (ie visitation) process.  "

I am aware of that (not being sarcastic here, I'm just stating.) Thanks to this site I became familiar with UCCJA, and filed everything here in the home state. I am doing this pro se, and have tried my best to be educated on the laws that apply to my case. I have my facts and evidence to support them.

But I have questions -

1. At the hearing, should I ask for our child to live with me?(I did not stipulate that in my motion and wonder if I should have...)

2. Should I bring a parenting plan to submit?

[catzeyezz4u]

Why was she awarded sole custody without father being awarded at least supervised visitation of some sort?  I was always under the impression having sole custody was fairly difficult to get.