moved away.

[MomofTwo]

What did you file contempt for? Moving against court order? Interfering with visitation? Why does she have sole custody? Did you have any court awarded visitation ordered before she left?  These questions are all very important. If you had no court order for visitation, then she didn't intefere with visitation by moving. 

Does she have an attorney?

[Im-a-dad2]

I did have supervised visits.

I previously had (court ordered) visitation schedule with my child for years. But when I met my current significant other, my ex started slinging allegations and she filed a motion for supervised visits.

After awhile, I didn't believe my lawyer was doing the best he could and fired him to get another. I did not find one in time for trial, and was not ordered a regular visitation schedule.

When my ex moved she said we could make visit arrangements. Obviously that seemed a better alternative than supervised, and/or going back to court again. My ex has allowed me to see our child maybe 5 times since they moved, for a few hours each time, but obviously its just not enough. Also, my ex won't agree to any kind of schedule.

So I filed a motion to enforce final judgment and adjudge in contempt. I also filed a motion for visitation.

Yes, my ex retained her attorney from when she lived here. They have not filed an answer to my motions. My ex also refuses to talk to me (or even let me talk to our child.)

[MomofTwo]

I am sure money is an issue, but the best thing you can possibly do is retain counsel.

You are going to have a battle on your hands.

There are several things going against you ---

1) She has counsel, you don't.

2) Custody battles are not do it yourself cases, although it can be, her having counsel will make this very difficult for you

3) You did not file timely petition for contempt for interferece with visitation

4) The visitation you had was supervised.  The likelihood you going from supervised visitation to the child residing with you is not good.

5) You waited a long time to file.  Despite what other posters will say, I am not referring to jurisdiction or anything about that, your silence and lack of action will weigh against you.  You knew to try to prevent the move, so I am not sure why when it was not ordered because the case was already under advisement you didn't follow up immediately when she did move.  You demonstrated some understanding to try to stop the move and when it occured, you did nothing to follow up. If you thought sole custody permitted her to move, then why did you try to prevent it?   

6) A savvy lawyer will take this "When my ex moved she said we could make visit arrangements, Obviously that seemed a better alternative than supervised, and/or going back to court again...." and twist it to show that you were in fact ok with the move after it occured. As well as "My ex has allowed me to see our child maybe 5 times since they moved, for a few hours each time, but obviously its just not enough" shows she was not preventing you from seeing the child when you attempted to.   You were only ordered for supervised visits.  Anything more than that she did not have to do. 

I am not being negative to you or your case.  I think your best bet is to at least confer with local counsel.  This is going to be very difficult for you.  What would seem likely is you will resume your supervised visits and need to set a schedule.  The courts could do more sanctions for her moving, but the fact you had supervised visits before will not likely result in a custody change.

[Im-a-dad2]

I didn't take it as you being negative. I did want an honest opinion on my situation.

Question -
1. (again, not trying to be rude) How does supervised visitation work over long distance? (2 hours away)

2. If the judge does order it, can I at least ask for it to be with a family member? Last time it cost me $160 for 2 hours (at the provider I went to before for supervised visits, each visitation had to be a minimum of 2 hours or more...)

[ocean]

How many supervised visits did you do before they left? Can you get a letter from them on how it went?
They may have you go to her area and meet at public place for a few hours..you can ask for anyone to supervise but the court will have to okay it...could be a park, restaurant, but after XX amount of times then it should be moved up to full days unsupervised and then to weekends in your house....

[Im-a-dad2]

I had 4 official supervised visits, since it was only for a few months before trial.

Recently, each time I visited, my ex was present and occasionally my father (on Father's Day and my kid's birthday.)

That leads me to this question:
1. What if, before court, my ex and I agree to unsupervised? I created a visitation plan for if my child remains in the other state. If my ex agrees to it, I think I can submit it to the judge for approval...Perhaps I should try that?

[catzeyezz4u]

I just spent most of the year going thru the court system and if you can both agree on something outside of the courts, it is a lot easier and much less expensive.  Just make sure it's very explicit to avoid any loopholes.  I had spent a lot of time here in the forums before actually appearing in court and found great information to be included in our custody agreement(but I also had legal representation).  Most of what I found in here was standard but I did request that some specifics be added after hearing other people's experiences.

[snowrose]

IMO, MomofTwo is making excellent points.  Listen carefully to what she's said.

You say you're a long distance away but I see you've qualified this to 2 hours away.  Really, that's not bad at all.  Lots of folks commute that distance on a daily basis.  I know quite a few folks who are going further than that every other week or weekend to pick up and drop off kids.

I think you need a lawyer, even just a free consultation might be enough (for now).  Since your ex has been in another state for 2 years, she may now have residency and the child may now be under jurisdiction of the other state.  You need an attorney to determine which state has jurisdiction. (You may get a better feel for this when the judge looks at your contempt motion.  Actually, I'd suggest that you ask the judge at the time the motion is heard which state now has jurisdiction over your child.)

You'll also need support to try to go beyond the supervised visitation.

You haven't really given us any good reasons why your ex shouldn't have custody of the child.  Tell me she's a prostitute who is picked up by the police every few weeks.  Tell me she's taking illegal drugs and has had the police raid her property numerous times.  Those are the kinds of things you'd usually need in order to get custody from her.  Or extensive proof that she physically abuses the child.

I have a friend whose ex stole his two children and ran off with them to another state within the last year.  She was found.  All three of them were brought back.  The mother was kept in jail for a time.  But in the end I'm sorry to say that the mother still got custody of them and was able to move them to another state.  So, realize that unless you have strong reasons why your ex is completely incapable of raising your child (not just that you don't like the way she does things) chances are that things won't change much - though if you go to court you should be allowed some type of visitation eventually.

[Im-a-dad2]

So, at the hearing I got a temp visitation schedule, and we go back in 90 days to discuss the contempt & joint legal motions, and also to set a permanent visitation schedule. I will let you all know how it goes.

I am just so happy! I cannot wait for the first visit!

Also, the Judge was not happy with my ex at all, because of her moving and her attempts to keep me from our child. It was nice to finally hear someone tell my ex she was wrong.

[snowrose]

So, at the hearing I got a temp visitation schedule, and we go back in 90 days to discuss the contempt & joint legal motions, and also to set a permanent visitation schedule. I will let you all know how it goes.

I am just so happy! I cannot wait for the first visit!

Also, the Judge was not happy with my ex at all, because of her moving and her attempts to keep me from our child. It was nice to finally hear someone tell my ex she was wrong.

Glad to hear it!!  It's always good when you get a judge that's on your side. 

The next hurdle is actually getting to visit.  Let us know how it goes!