I am new here.

[anon73]

Due to the sneaky nature of my childs mother I will try to give as much info with out giving any at all. Hopefully you all wil be able to give some advice and not get to confused lol. After several years I was able to track down the mother and serve her with paternity orders, once that was established our suck wad lawyer screwed us with the parenting order, where just a few words left us with our nuts in a hand basket. The only thing we really had going for us is the electronic means of communication which is unlimited. We have started our journals and we have also been keeping emails transcribing text messages and recording conversations with the other side. We have just been recommended to a new lawyer who seems to be pretty decent from the conversation I had with him today....

The mother, likes to play games... she hid for a couple of years, stalked me to make sure our paths never crossed, tapped into some mutual friends/aquaintances to find out more to when and where I will be. Once things were progressing she would bounce between several addresses in different counties to prolong the court experience.

What I am looking for ultimately is full Custody of my child. We are starting our next step by getting a solid visitation plan in order then allowing for a couple of years of continuous tracking of phones emails and texts to show constant contempt and lack of interest for the well being of our child will we start another endeavor into the pits of hell known as court.

Any advice or short cuts I will be more than glad to accept. personal stories, so on so forth. I do apologize for the intense level of anonymity. Thank you.

[anon73]

I'm sorry, I'm new to message boards and am not sure what information to put out in order to get the advice and help I'm looking for... maybe if someone could give me an idea so I can get the hang of this? I am frustrated, hurt and confused and it helps to know I'm not alone in my struggle...

[MomofTwo]

As long as you don't use your real names, you will remain anonymous.

So,  from your original post what I understand is ... you are the father of a child?

Were you ever married to the mother?  I am guessing not, but please specify.

Has paternity testing ever been completed and through that testing, were you established legally as the father?

That is VERY important because if you were not married and no paternity has been established, you (in many states) are not legally the father and have no rights.

Has a child support order even been established? What state? Where (if you know) is Mom/child now (what state) and what state are you in?  Have any court orders ever been done? Any motions in court?

If paternity was never established with any court, I am sorry to tell you the likelihood of any court removing the child from Mom and giving you custody is very unlikely.

But, we really need a much more clear picture from you regarding several factors. 

[anon73]

Yes, I am the father, and yes I was legally established as the father via the paternity test. No I was never married to the Mother. Child support has been ordered and payments are already in affect, I was the one that instigated the paternity test and child support, bc she was was filing for me in a state that she knew I did not live so she was able to continue drawing medicaid.

No we are preparing to go back to court to adjust the visitation that is set forth in the parenting order. Right now it states up to 2 days a week supervised, and unlimited electronic means of communication. set that it is the basic visitation set forth by our county, with a slight adjustment to add 3 days a week with every other weekend.

[lovindad70]

I am also new here.Like Anon73 i never was married to my sons mother and also signed a patern. paper at hospital.The mother liked to play head games and wanted to make my life miserable,she got involved with a felon for making meth.1 day i came to talk to my son since i had not heard from him in 2 weeks but she never answered the door and her bf was taunting me and would not let my son come out(he was crying for me)well you know how mother bears are with the cubs lol.i started to mouth off and tried to kick in the door(pls do not do)well saying that the police was called and the officer saw me kick the door.I went to jail for 5 days for unlawful entry which i did not enter the place cop was mad cause after he said i was a bad dad made me even mader and i started on him that was reason he TRIED to charge me with the felony,it was dropped to tresspassing only.told the judge mother locks him out of house alot so they can do their thing whatever that was drugs,sex whatever.Me and her mother took her to court to get me custody but never happened so i agreed to let the grandmother have custody.Now i have another son by another woman who threatens me with my youngest every chance she gets and i am scared as hell to leave because when she starts to argue(pls never infront of children take it private)i try to go out the door to get away from the yelling my son grabs my arm and cries don't go daddy I love you.I start to cry and try to comfort him and let him know it is not his fault.I am at a loss just thinking of it as i write this. Any help would be nice noone to talk to here in my city

[redbabyblue70]

Lovindad70- looking for a little clarification.  You are the father, and you have two children, from two different mothers, is that correct?  The first child is in the custody of grandmother.  Is that correct?  Second child is with your ex?  Has a custody order been placed for the second child?  What state do you reside in?

If there is no custody order for your second child I would say that is where you need to start along with hiring a lawyer (if financially possible).  If you feel your child is in danger, (physical danger that is), you may want to contact Social Services in your area.  I only recommend that if the child's physical welfare is at stake.  My fiance has had Social services contacted numerous times for false allegations so please don't contact them unless there really is an issue. 

I understand your feelings of hopelessness.  We (my fiance and I) have been there a lot recently.  The best thing you can do is fight for your children.  They have a right to be with both parents.  I've foud this site to be extremely helpful, for information and emotional support.

[lovindad70]

Lovindad70- looking for a little clarification.  You are the father, and you have two children, from two different mothers, is that correct?  The first child is in the custody of grandmother.  Is that correct?  Second child is with your ex?  Has a custody order been placed for the second child?  What state do you reside in?

If there is no custody order for your second child I would say that is where you need to start along with hiring a lawyer (if financially possible).  If you feel your child is in danger, (physical danger that is), you may want to contact Social Services in your area.  I only recommend that if the child's physical welfare is at stake.  My fiance has had Social services contacted numerous times for false allegations so please don't contact them unless there really is an issue. 

I understand your feelings of hopelessness.  We (my fiance and I) have been there a lot recently.  The best thing you can do is fight for your children.  They have a right to be with both parents.  I've foud this site to be extremely helpful, for information and emotional support.

i have 2 children yes 1 with grandmother the other with me and current gf.but gf is trying to use my child to get me to stay which it does because he does not want me to leave.i live in Indiana,she is a good mother but using a child against the other parent is totally wrong,just breaks my heart when she does that.she says that i have no rights as a father but i signed a paternety sheet at hospital.Is that not enough?

[Kitty C.]

Signing the birth certificate or admission of paternity as the father at the hospital is NOT enough.  You have to file a paternity suit with the court and if it is accepted, then they will recognize you as the biological father.  Doesn't mean you automatically have rights...............those you will still have to fight for, tooth and nail.

[anon73]

As long as you don't use your real names, you will remain anonymous.

So,  from your original post what I understand is ... you are the father of a child?

Were you ever married to the mother?  I am guessing not, but please specify.

Has paternity testing ever been completed and through that testing, were you established legally as the father?

That is VERY important because if you were not married and no paternity has been established, you (in many states) are not legally the father and have no rights.

Has a child support order even been established? What state? Where (if you know) is Mom/child now (what state) and what state are you in?  Have any court orders ever been done? Any motions in court?

If paternity was never established with any court, I am sorry to tell you the likelihood of any court removing the child from Mom and giving you custody is very unlikely.

But, we really need a much more clear picture from you regarding several factors. 

Yes, I am the father of a child, the mother and I were never married. Paternity was never established at birth bc I lived out of state when baby was born, and when I returned, she refused to submit child for dna testing and paternity establishment. I sought help from the courts (in FL originally) and was told there was nothing I could do without her cooperation (I learned years later this wasn't true). When I discovered I could bring suit against her and force establishment, someone I thought was a friend told her, and she fled the state. Didn't know at the time I could still petition in the state and force her to return... When I finally found her in Ohio, I had her served with paternity papers there. Paternity and support was established at my pursuing, and I got a parenting order that's even worse than the EOW screwjob. I want my child. I am tired of my child and I both being played like marionettes. They are treated like incapable, weak, incompetent in that house; mediocrity is rewarded with no push to be better... It infuriates me and I am desperate to learn what I can do to make their life better...