Please help in Denton County

[luieluie]

Newbie here and need some help.
Non married couple been living together for 4 years, have 2 boys...5 year old (not biologically mine, not adopted), 16 mo old (mine).  Mom does not work, has no car and no residence (other than the one we have together).  She recently filed for disability for an old injury to her back (very minor), social anxiety and BiPolar.

I was served with child support papers and our discussion turned into an argument one week ago yesterday.  This issue that I had was the "conservatorship", all I did was let her know that we needed to have shared custody,,,,,she was completely against it, saying that it would affect the payment amount.  I told her that I would let the court know that my only issue was the conservatorship and I would stipulate to any support amount that I could afford.  She was having none of that, the argument went on and on til we just went into separate rooms.

3 hours later she is asking if they could go spend the night at her moms so they can go to a waterpark the next day.  The next day, everything is normal except (we had been having car issues) she says that she had to put the car in the shop and didn't get to go.....asked if it was okay to stay over there and go to the waterpark on Thursday.  Thursday was a normal day of contact....phone calls, messaging back and forth, etc.

When I get home from work on Thursday, she has moved all of her stuff (and the kid's) out of our residence.

She informs me that she has taken the kids away because she "knows what I've been doing".  I find out that she took the younger child to the ER Wednesday morning saying that I had sexually abused him.

I was contacted by a CPS worker Friday at noon.  She says she just got the case and had a few questions for me......She called me again Yesterday morning and told me that she is closing the case.  Yes, the case was open for a day and a half.  She says that the children have NOT been abused, but that the mother was very adamant about wanting me to be arrested.

I would like to know if anyone can provide advice.....
What can I do to see my child if she refuses to let me see him under any conditions?  Is there a document that I can file before we have our child support hearing?

Has anyone dealt with usfamilyadvocates.com??  They want to do the paperwork for my hearings and then I would take those forms down to the court clerk and file them myself.  I would be acting Pro Se (represent myself)....just giving the written arguments to the judge I guess.  I have spoken with Jeremy McCready and some guy named Rory.

[snowrose]

How you would proceed depends on what state you're in, and a bunch of other things.  Some states won't even recognize you as the father if you and your ex weren't married, so that would mean that you can't be required to pay child support.  But on the other hand, until you have a custody order filed with the court you can't do anything about insisting the children visit you, either.

I haven't heard of the website that you mentioned but I did go look at it.  This is what I found...

In order to enroll with our services and become a member of the program, there is a one-time registration fee of $100.00***. There is a monthly fee of $39.50*** per month to remain in the program beginning seven days after your enrollment date. There is no contract to sign -- you may elect to cancel your membership at any time. What the $100.00 enrollment fee and the $39.50 monthly recurring charge cover is your unlimited access to your case manager. Following your enrollment, we guarantee that your Case Manager will contact you within 24 hours to immediately begin working with you on your case. We further guarantee that you will always get calls to your Case Manager timely returned (always within 24 hours).

And this...

US Family Advocates is not a law firm, its agents are not attorneys and it cannot offer "legal advice."

I can't make a suggestion one way or the other regarding this website, but I just wanted to make sure that you were informed.

[luieluie]

Thank you for your kind response.  I was beginning to think that noone would.

I am on the baby's birth certificate and we're in Denton County of Texas.  I assume that being on the cert gives me responsibilities and privileges of fatherhood.

After not seeing them for 10 days she shows up at 3:30 in my work's parking lot.  When I went out side, the youngest was sleeping.  I was able to hug, hold and talk to each child but she was in the background making stoopid comments repeatedly.  First of all, our youngest (probably like everyone) doesn't like to wake up all of a sudden.  He's my little sunshine, but he hasn't seen me in a week and a half.....well each time he reached for his mom or something, she would say, "see, he doesn't want you to hurt him".....remember the false claims of abuse??

[snowrose]

Thank you for your kind response.  I was beginning to think that noone would.

I am on the baby's birth certificate and we're in Denton County of Texas.  I assume that being on the cert gives me responsibilities and privileges of fatherhood.

No, it doesn't.  I just posted information for someone else in Texas yesterday and you and the mother must sign an Acknowledgement of Paternity (AOP).

• Under Texas law, a child born to a man and woman who are not married has no legal father. There is a difference between a biological father and a legal father. When the child's parents complete an Acknowledgment of Paternity (AOP) to establish legal fatherhood, this helps to secure the legal rights of the child.
  
• Courts cannot order a father to pay child support until paternity is established.
  
• The father cannot enforce his right to visitation or possession of the child until paternity is established.

How is it done?
It's simple. An AOP can be obtained from the hospital, usually from the birth registrar in Medical Records. The father and mother sign the form, and the hospital staff send the AOP to the Bureau of Vital Statistics (BVS), where it is filed.
Will signing the Acknowledgment of Paternity make a person the legal father?
Yes, when the mother and father both sign the AOP, the biological father becomes the legal father once the AOP is filed at the BVS.

http://www.oag.state.tx.us/AG_Publications/txts/paternity.shtml (http://www.oag.state.tx.us/AG_Publications/txts/paternity.shtml)

Did you and your ex sign and file a POA?  If not, you might use offering child support as a bargaining chip.  You sign the POA with me, we file it, and then we'll file for child support (and a custody order which gives you very clear visitation rights).  Because she can't force you to pay support until there's a POA.

Not to worry about affects of the abuse allegation.  CPS closed the case very quickly, so that's a very good thing.  You might want to see if you can get a copy of the final report on that for your files.  (Yes, you need to start keeping documents on what's happening - for your own safety and to help you with getting visitation.)

Anything odd that happens, write it down and keep a record.  Paperwork is your friend.  Document, document, document!

[Davy]

[.

• Courts cannot order a father to pay child support until paternity is established.
  
• The father cannot enforce his right to visitation or possession of the child until paternity is established.

http://www.oag.state.tx.us/AG_Publications/txts/paternity.shtml (http://www.oag.state.tx.us/AG_Publications/txts/paternity.shtml)

Did you and your ex sign and file a POA?  If not, you might use offering child support as a bargaining chip.  You sign the POA with me, we file it, and then we'll file for child support (and a custody order which gives you very clear visitation rights).  Because she can't force you to pay support until there's a POA.

Not to worry about affects of the abuse allegation.  CPS closed the case very quickly, so that's a very good thing.  You might want to see if you can get a copy of the final report on that for your files.  (Yes, you need to start keeping documents on what's happening - for your own safety and to help you with getting visitation.)

Anything odd that happens, write it down and keep a record.  Paperwork is your friend.  Document, document, document!


The mother's behavior is deplorable and goes directly to rhe well-being of the children. One should not assume the mother becomes the managing conservator and the father becomes the possessory conservator paying CS and begging for access to his children.

The false allegations are serious and a burden on the system.  Jurisdictions close to Denton county are "enlightened" so the mother probably lost any favorability she may have had with the court in addition to uprooting the children from their home.  I suspect Denton count may also been enlightened as well but I'm not sure.

Also, start building an indexed case file of any and all related documents. 

I think this father has a leg up in this process and should focus on the long term impact on the children rather than jumping thru hoops in the short term.

[luieluie]

Thanks for all the great responses!!  It is really appreciated.  I really don't know what I'm doing in all this stuff, feel like I've been thrown to the wolves.  I spoke with a few attorneys and they all want 3-4K to take on my case.  I wish I had the funds available!!  Looks like I will have to work with one that will let me pay them in installments, but they won't file anything for me until I get to a particular cash level.

Looks like I will have to file an answer to the Child Support papers myself.  I found some help online (a template) and have just filled it out with a General Denial and then a statement that the child should be ordered to be covered by my insurance.  Looks like I still have until the Monday after the 13th to get the Answer filed with the court.

When my son was born, we completed and signed an Acknowledgement of Paternity.  I have the original and a copy was sent along with the Child Support papers.

She is supposed to bring him by for a visit today (yes, once again before 5 o'clock, meaning that I will miss some work).  Otherwise, I have seen him for a total of 15 minutes in the past 14 days.  She has let me speak to my other (non-biological 5 year old) son on the phone everyday.  Sometimes she'll put the phone up to my youngest, but then she'll say "he pushes the phone away when he hears your voice"....and then something stoopid like "he doesn't want you to hurt him anymore".

[snowrose]

Until you file for custody, she can do whatever she wants with not having you see the child.  Does your local court have Family Law duty-counsel at the courthouse?  Some areas will have duty-counsel at the courthouse that can give you basic, free advice.

[Davy]

There's an anti-family Law Office at the court house.  It's called the Office of Child Support.  A father should not cooperate with this office until a custodial parent has been determined.  CS is not automatic and children should not be withheld from a parent as bargaining chips as if this were a poker game in a casino.  These proceedures and this woman are very much showing themselves as unfit to have anything to do with the welfare of  children.  Think about it and speak out with the truth of what this woman is doing.

[snowrose]

There's an anti-family Law Office at the court house.  It's called the Office of Child Support.  A father should not cooperate with this office until a custodial parent has been determined.  CS is not automatic and children should not be withheld from a parent as bargaining chips as if this were a poker game in a casino.  These proceedures and this woman are very much showing themselves as unfit to have anything to do with the welfare of  children.  Think about it and speak out with the truth of what this woman is doing.

I have not said anything about the "Office of Child Support".  And you are not helping anyone when you give attacking, negative answers like this.  If you're so knowledgable about the Texas system then give the people positive, supportive advice that they can use and be assured of.

By what you're saying, you may scare people away from seeking out local support and guidance that may be offered at their local courthouse.  At my courthouse, they DO have Family Law duty-counsel (a neutral attorney) that can help you file paperwork and help you understand the laws.  I've used them myself and they were a great help.  I can't answer for what Texas offers in the way of guidance, but at least I can let people know that they should check and see if help is available, just to be sure.

[Davy]

Whoa back.  Snowrose. The OP spoke of filing with CS and attorneys that want 3-4k, etc, etc.  So notice that this woman has the children and is demainding child support based of false allegations to CPS which were unfounded.  In other words CPS and the CS office are colllaborating with free advice and assistance to make this woman the managing conservator with out ever stepping into a courthouse or paying a dime to attorneys.

You conveniently skip over the important facts and your only advice is to see if your Texas court house offers males free advice and assistance because where you live females get it.

And then you patronize another poster that speaks the truth.  How manipulative.  If you have something or anything to help the OP then great but don't throw any off guard and get him to chasing his own tail with empty hopes especially when the welfare of children is at stake.  These children are at risk based on this woman's behavior.

I can help this father but I'm not going to waller in your crap to do it.