PLEASE HELP (BF) WITHOUT CUSTODY OR VISITATION…

[mOe_Leezy]

   My wife and I split up; and while we were apart, she dropped my daughter and stepson off at a caretaker's house for two weeks.  The caretaker called Social Services and they put the kids in foster care for neglect.  This all took place on or about the summer of 1995; which custody was then awarded to the maternal aunt (my spouse's half-sister) to reside in California.  At that time I was stationed in North Carolina (Camp Lejeune) doing my best to keep in touch with my daughter, paying the ordered child support, sending gifts on every possible occasion to both my stepson and daughter.

   It is now 2005, I am now re-married and being a father to my wife's children.  We  are now stationed an hour and a half away from my daughter, and the only visitation that I have per the court order is supervised visitation with the maternal aunt's presence.  What I'm asking is what can I do to try and get this 10 year order modified so that I may be able to establish a more stable relationship with my daughter?  What am I entitled to?  Every weekend, every other weekend, holidays, or what?  Money is an issue, are there any recommendations as to whom to hire, or better yet what I can possibly do?  Any information will be greatly appreciated.

[marnbuk]

there is some reason they gave custody to an aunt instead of you. If it was simply because of the service then that is not a good reason. you have to go back to the courts to modify your orders. If the aunt is reasonable and you get along you may be able to do this yourself. If not hire an attorney. The children may be old enough to submit a letter to the judge with their request. check California law.

[hagatha]

You said . . .

>     At that time I was stationed in North Carolina
>(Camp Lejeune) doing my best to keep in touch with my
>daughter, paying the ordered child support, sending gifts on
>every possible occasion to both my stepson and daughter.


That was while you were in NC. What about now? How often do you see the kids? How often you do try to contact the kids? How is your relationship with the aunt?

Before you will have any chance of changing the existing order you have to have a solid relationship with the kids now. The aunt has been the main care-taker of these kids for several years. They have a bond. The court will not sever that bond without something substancial on your part.

If the aunt is resisting you in establishing a bond with the kids, you can go back to court and get a more defined order. But it would still be supervised for a while. you need to work your way up to weekend visits.

Call the aunt. Set up some visits. And of course, DOCUMENT everything

The Witch

[Lawmoe]

The answer to your question depends on how much contact you have had to date and your child's comfort level with your presence.  There is no doubt that a court will make you walk before you can run.  

You  must file a Motion to modify the parenting schedule.  The Court will likely appoint a GAL or have a parenting time evaluation performed. THat person will make recommendations regarding parenting time. You should have a proposed schedule ready to suggest that includes increasing parenting time as your relationship progresses.