Something almost NO ONE has encounted, I guarantee...

[danisdad]

I keep wondering if I go to visit either of them at school or day care, will it cause a ruckas. 
Perhaps I will need to get court ordered visitation before stepping that far out.

Are you talking about the kids of the woman you weren't married to?  If so, then you probably can be legally barred until paternity has been established (doesn't matter that your name is on the birth certificate, what matters is that you were legally married to someone else at the time of birth and not to the mother) and you have a court order. 

That sounds like VERY good advice indeed!  Thank you..

[danisdad]

I have custody of my daughter after 3 long miserable years. I can tell you that the stuff you think will be used against you....won't. The only thing the court is interested in is the children. How the children came to be or any choices you made prior to the birth of the children is of no importance. My ex did horrible and unexplainable things to her children (all of them had different dads) and in the end she got supervised visits for a few months then standard visitation. You have done nothing to your children so you just need to file with the courts and get the ball rolling. Given the history I would make sure to get geographical restrictions.

Im sorry, I dont think I know what "geographical restrictions" means in this context.  Could you explain please?
(tsry, his forum doesnt seem to let my make apostrophes...)

[anon73]

It basically means get a provision in your order forbidding the mother's to take the children out of county/state/country without your express written permission. Something of that nature. To protect the children from suddenly being whisked away from you yet again.

[eagleeyefam]

I will admit when i first read your post I did not want to respond because of the situation. But then after talking to my husband I realized how biased and closed minded I was being. I owe you a very heartfelt apology for that. It was very unfair of me to put up a wall of judgement. I truly am sorry.

You are their father. Bottom line nothing will ever change that. You and your children desere to foster a relationship. You are not unlike any of the other fathers that are fighting for the same parental rights.

File in court for what you want. Don't back down. You will probably have to establish paternity and the courts will order you to pay child support, and it's possible they might back date it to the time they were born.

As long as you are a good fatehr to your children that is all that matters.

Best of luck. I wish I had that magic mommy wand that made all the custody BS easier.